It was a strange hobby, to say the least—to me, anyway. Feeding alligators is the sort of thing lonely old ladies do when their husband of fifty-plus years dies in a fatal canoeing accident (it’s why I don’t plan on retiring: there’s too much free time to do something stupid and kick the bucket before my body completely quits on me of its own volition), so it’s completely baffling that this nineteen-year-old girl spends all her free time down at the pond tossing shrimp at them like the most attractive geriatric fuck I’ve ever seen.