Send Her My Love

 

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hidden treasure

isaiah : 45 : 3 

And I will give you hidden treasures and the knowledge of secret things, so that you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, who calls your name. 

"Come Home"

It hurts me to see you this way
I can't sleep, I'm lying awake
Wondering what you're battling tonight
You've bought into all of the lies
And you've buried your fears inside
Haunted by a past you can't erase

What will it take?
There's no mistaking
Only one place you belong

Please, come home
Please, come home
The door is open wide
You don't have to fix your life for me
I die a little every time that you leave
So come home

Your voice rings inside my ears
I'm fighting to hold back the tears
How can I make you see while there's still time?

What will it take?
There's no mistaking
Only one place you belong

Please, come home
Please, come home
The door is open wide
You don't have to fix your life for me
I die a little every time that you leave
So come home

You're not a disappointment to me
You're just like the rest of us
Struggling through the journey
I don't care what secrets you may keep
I could never love you less
Than all the love inside of me, yeah

Please, come home
Please, come home

Please, come home
Please, come home
The door is open wide
You don't have to fix your life for me
I die a little every time that you leave
So come home, come home

Meet me halfway, my love. when I feed you, let me lead. yet receive. don't be shy or self conscious.

 

From Imperfect Vision: Bride is being held captive. Both Bridegroom and Bride are being held hostage.

You never said, you never said, you never said that it would be this hard
Love is meant to be forever, now or never seems to discard
There's gotta be a better way for me to say
What's on my heart without leaving scars
So can you hear me when I call your name?

And when you fall apart am I the reason for your endless sorrow?
There's so much to be said
And with a broken heart your walls can only go down but so low
Can you hear me when I call your name?
When I call your name

Complicated situations are the makings of all that's wrong
And I've been standing in the river of deliverance way too long
There's gotta be a better way for me to say
What's on my heart without leaving scars
So can you hear me when I call your name?
So can you hear me when I call your name?

And when you fall apart am I the reason for your endless sorrow?
There's so much to be said
And with a broken heart your walls can only go down but so low
Can you hear me when I call your name?

You never said, you never said, you never said, you never said
When I call your name
You never said, you never said, you never said, you never said
When I call your name

And when you fall apart am I the reason for your endless sorrow?
There's so much to be said
And with a broken heart your walls can only go down but so low
Can you hear me when I call your name?

And when you fall apart am I the reason for your endless sorrow?
There's so much to be said
And with a broken heart your walls can only go down but so low
Can you hear me when I call your name?

Songwriters: Christopher A. Daughtry / Joseph Matthew Barnes

Call Your Name lyrics

Jeremiah 2:32

Does a maiden forget her jewelry or a bride her wedding sash? Yet My people have forgotten Me for days without number.

Lamentations : 2 : 1 

ALEPH. O how the Lord has covered the daughter of Zion with gloom in his fury! O how he has thrown down from heaven to earth the famous one of Israel, and he has not remembered his footstool in the day of his fury.

Luna - once the Glory of the King - was thrown down from Heaven to Earth for it was She - the unfaithful Bride who had been destined for His heart yet had hurt Him...for a moment she seemed to hesitate...

 

"Hesitate"

Stone Sour

You were my fire, so I burned... til' there was nothing left of me
I... I touched your face, I held you close... til' I could barely breathe
Why give me hope, then give me up... just to be the death of me
Save the rest of me...

Cuz I see you, but I can't feel you anymore - so go away
I need you, but I can't need you anymore - you hesitate

Now... now and then, you come around, like there's something left for me
We were one... we were everything
I'm still here... but I'll just keep the rest of me

Cuz I see you, but I can't feel you anymore - so go away
I need you, but I can't need you anymore - you hesitate

We never made it... you hesitated... I don't believe

That I see you, but I can't feel you anymore - so go away
I need you, but I can't need you anymore - you hesitate
Cuz I see you, but I can't feel you anymore - so go away
I need you, but I can't need you anymore - you hesitate - hesitate

You were my fire, so I burned... now there's nothing left of me...

 

and She therefore wounded heaven's Lamb. 

No longer 

permitted 

in their Secret Garden 

the Living Heart 

of The Son 

of God 

mourned 

wiping His tears on His royal sleeve

missing 

and yearning yet

His Other Half 

and His City suffered

the Drawbridge leading 

to The Castle

had been damaged

apparently... 

beyond repair

 

she's been a mess, sleeping across three seats on buses

tired of her trials, fears, and almost life

yet she had so much faith. she senses her right ear has expanded. maybe a sign her consciousness has. 

"Nothing Else Matters"
Metallica

 

So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
And nothing else matters

Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
And nothing else matters

Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters

Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
But I know

So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
And nothing else matters

Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
But I know

I never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
And nothing else matters

Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters

Never cared for what they say
Never cared for games they play
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
And I know

So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
No nothing else matters

 Jeremiah 3:1 

They say, If a man put away his wife, and she go from him, and become another man's, shall he return unto her again? shall not that land be greatly polluted? but thou hast played the harlot with many lovers; yet return again to me, saith the LORD. 

"Send Her My Love"excerpt

Journey

It's been so long

Since I've seen her face

You say she's doin' fine

I still recall

A sad cafe

How it hurt so bad to see her cry

I didn't want to say good-bye

 

Send her my love, memories remain

Send her my love, roses never fade

Send her my love...

 

Into the desert she left

and inside her mother's womb 

she was exiled 

or so the dark angels thought

 

Luna was born 

in the East 

of the City 

of Angels 

in what was once known as General Hospital

three decades plus a year ago.

 

 N  A  I V  E 

The confusion of a mental break, a bewitching, and a ride towards heaven 


I remember my Mom turning off the freeway, and how the street was a blur. We were in my sister’s Explorer, the SUV where all her girlfriends would accommodate themselves like canned sardines on their way to some party without me. This was no time for partying. Inhaling panic, my sister sat on my right side. To her, I had collided into this crazy world, stubborn in my curiosity; always wanting to know more. 

I remember my Mom buying a plastic bag full of fruit from a woman on the side of the road: sweet melon, sweet mango, sweet cut sandía. My sister fed them tenderly to me. Watermelon was my favorite with its sweetness; I savored a hint of chili along with fresh lemon. The fruit was supposed to help purge the drugs from my system; drugs I might have been given by my admirer turned stalker back at our third-story apartment.

He had roses hidden in a black plastic bag, and had handed me: the thorny red rose; the stem was wrapped in a bit of aluminum foil. I accepted it. 

When this man handed me papers about the stars, about the Chinese zodiac and my twin flame, I was intrigued. I had been warned about talking to strangers, but I wanted to know more about life. Maybe I thought he could teach me something. He inspected the lines of my palm, rubbing both of my hands with his hard bony ones. He told me I was depressed. Or maybe I told him. I think he read it in my hazel eyes – naïve eyes, curious for love.

We met often at the open-air swap-meet in his bootleg CD booth. For one illicit year, I’d hide in the bathroom, or lock myself in my room to listen to his feigned intelligence, feigned baritone voice. I had to put socks, sweats, and a jacket on whenever we spoke, because I’d start shivering when I heard his voice.

We met in front of the wooden table 

he stacked on metal poles, 

the skeleton holding up 

the wobbly world 

of his heavy bootleg CD and DVD collection. 

New customers came and he’d flip plastic pages holding the discs he burned on his computer, proudly displaying his handiwork. He had a “system.” He had his clipboard with the categories of music or movies listed, and he ordered them all by numbers. A natural-born hustler, he enjoyed making easy money.

Why did I trust him? Why did I let him look into the book of my eyes? Why didn't I say “no” when he asked that stranger to take our picture with a disposable camera? What if he captured my essence, with his arm around me? What's he doing? I thought. He's going to put a spell on me, but I was too afraid to speak up.

“I like ‘em when they’re experienced.” “Do it with him,” he said. He wanted me to lose my virginity to the next-door neighbor who was in love with me, who wrote me flowery letters and poems and songs. I never opened the door to this neighbor. My mother or brother would deliver his letters to me. I'd read them tucked away in my room out of sheer curiosity.

“I‘m really good with my hands,” he explained from behind his table of piratería. “You don’t believe me? Here, let me show you.” He approached the back of my baby blue blouse. I was wearing a white cushioned bra that made my tiny boobs look fuller. I secretly liked the attention I got from strange guys.

He said there were secrets in my blood. According to him, the Indian and Mayan blood flowing within me contained the most ancient secrets.

“Do you want me to pick you up from school? What time do you get out?” he asked. 

Back in my sister’s SUV, I didn't know where we were headed. My sister’s girlfriend sat on my left side in the Explorer. I felt safe between them. “One heart” I told my sister.

“We are one heart.” I thought about the Holy Trinity.

All the windows were rolled down. The wind rushed around me as if wanting to lift me up. I was willing to go with it. I was ready. Cansáda. I only yearned for the wind to caress my face and my soul tan lleno de temor.

Mom swerved the Explorer into the parking lot of the hospital where my Uncle works. She parked in the first open spot. The doors opened with their hard clicks, and out I walked like Edward Bloom from the movie Big Fish. At the end of his life, he was going through a metamorphosis. He would turn into a life-sized fish, and swim in his true home, the river. I staggered between my mom and sister as they led me toward the emergency room. Was I going to heaven? I was tired, but finally alive. 

 

Invisible Lilies

 

The pink lilies haven't come up yet, right? I know you are waiting for them, watching them every other day and week after week. They are not coming. Only green shoots, nowhere near the star-shaped flowers you saw in 2011, only the sap falling from the Pine onto the lovely and green leaves.

 

 

Like Black Snakes


Once, your hair was a hassle to you: you remember the thick nuisance was like black snakes, and no you did not have dreadlocks, but tangles you did - with no patience to handle, and dreading to have to deal with this one minute longer, you asked your sister to cut your hair. And she reluctantly, with the barber scissors chopped it off for you, while you stood naked in the shower, like a child of ten, she bathed you, but you were a child of eighteen. 

 

The flower that soaked in the darkest hour was Jesus, but the flowers that will become the brightest hour - are the both of you. 

 

Like waiting to board a plane, you waited for your dreams to come true, waiting for that flight to take you to that flower. Hidden between a jungle of worry, tears, and panic attacks lived The Darkest Flower, 

the human flower, the morenita flower, the brown flower, the flower from earth. That is you. 

You are the flower from Earth, 

you are the power of your words, 

you are the minutes of my face, 

and you are the time on my mind, 

the salt of my life. 

 

A dark flower, you once wept in the shower, head lowered, curls dripping with shame...

My mom caught me crying in the shower. I wasn't singing Baby Beluga to Angelique, instead my mom caught me wailing. My unborn baby was there to feel my pain, my tears, and unfortunately my fear as well. Yet she comforted me, and was teaching me how to be strong in the face of this my greatest fear - the devil. 

 ...worry was on your mind, and on your lips: tears hidden in warm water, a prayer, hair drenched as you hidden flower cried out to God, "Help me, Father, help me with my blinding pain, and this fear that threatens to paralyze me. Fear of the enemy, fear of water, fear of everything and nothing."

Que hace, Mom asked 

and all I could do was say, 

Mam, dejeme en paz 

shooing her 

away with those words 

asking for 

my privacy in God's presence. 

 

She said I feel stranded
And I can't tell anymore
If we coming or I'm going
It's not how I planed it
I've got the key to the door
But it just won't open

And I know I know I know
Part of me says let it go
That life happens for a reason
I don't I don't I don't
It goes I never went before
But this time this time

I'm gonna try anything that just feel better
Tell me what to do
You know I can't see through the haze around me
And I do anything that just feel better

And I can't find my way
Girl I need a change
And I do anything that just feel better
Any little thing that just feel better

She said I need you to hold me
I'm a little far from the shore
And I'm afraid of sinking
You're the only one knows me
And who doesn't ignore
That my soul is weeping

I know I know I know
Part of me says let it go
Everything must have it seasons
Round and round it goes
And every day's a one before
But this time this time

I'm gonna try anything that just feels better
Tell me what to do
You know I can't see through the haze around me
And I do anything that just feel better

And I can't find my way
God I need a change
And I do anything that just feel better
Any little thing that just feel better

Long to hold you in my arms
To all things I ought to leave behind yeah
It's really getting nowhere
I think I need a little help this time

Yeah

I'm gonna try anything that just feel better
Tell me what to do
You know I can't see through the haze around me
And I do anything that just feel better

And I can't find my way
Girl I need a change
And I do anything that just feel better
Any little thing that just feel better

 

Songwriters: Jamie Houston / Buck Johnson / Damon Johnson

 

Just Feel Better lyrics

Where she treads 

her enemies disperse in seven 

different directions. 

She is guarded by the Virgin Mary's Mantle, 

and sings with her Stars

and is made invisible 

at times 

by the heavenly Father 

who dreams 

of the day His daughter will finally realize 

who 

she really is: 

the Bride 

in the Order of Melchizedek.

 

It is in the Mount of Olives 

that in spirit she is reunited 

with her Prince and Peace Yahshua. 

He has waited  for Luna to grow up 

until His Father can unveil the mystery to her. He waits 

for Luna to grow 

until He can unveil her 

true identity 

and His face 

to her. 

 

Every night 

He kisses her goodnight 

on the forehead and sends the light 

of the moon 

as a caress 

and a breeze 

perfumes her with one of His scents - 

Her favorite: Myrrh. 

 

Their Garden 

is the Palace of Eden. He 

is waiting 

to be crowned 

by her 

arms 

and caresses 

by she 

who is 

His 

woman 

of Predilection

a prototype of Esther 

who had foreshadowed His Bride.

 

Their Royal Wedding will take place 

like Arwen and Aragorn's 

royal celebration 

in the movie The Lord of the Rings. 

The Lamb of God had foreseen 

His fate 

through the Scriptures. 

 

At age twelve 

the day His Mother searched

for her Most Holy Son

in the City of Jerusalem

He read 

and the Father revealed 

that His Beloved existed in the Mind of the Eternal Father

He had hidden her in the palm of His hand like a gem

Christ's Bride would be born

in the future

and was being prepared 

by their beloved Father, 

the Nine Choirs of Angels, 

one by one 

were instructing her 

in one virtue each

level to level in heaven; 

 

but the Devil will intend to stick his nose in Father's business...

and the father of lies threatens 

to discourage Luna from following 

the Light 

in her heart 

and her visions

she has no one to run to on earth

but her Father in heaven 

she keeps asking Him 

to reveal His plan to her. 

Despite her nagging doubts 

and writhing jealous demons

she falls in love with her best friend Jesus her Messiah  

especially after watching The Passion 

of The Christ 

and it wasn't Jim Caviezel's pretty face 

but the passion 

with which he 

portrayed 

her Savior 

which 

led her 

to want to console 

and emulate 

her Beloved  

Romans 8:3 Amplified Bible (AMP)

 

3 For what the Law could not do [that is, overcome sin and remove its penalty, its power] being weakened by the flesh [man’s nature without the Holy Spirit], God did: He sent His own Son in the likeness of sinful man as an offering for sin. And He condemned sin in the flesh [subdued it and overcame it in the person of His own Son]

Ezekiel : 16 : 3 - 

And you shall say: Thus says the Lord God to Jerusalem: Your root and your lineage is from the land of Canaan; your father was an Amorite, and your mother was a Cethite 

4 - And when you were born, on the day of your nativity, your umbilical cord was not cut, and you were not washed with water for health, nor salted with salt, nor wrapped with cloths. 

5 - No eye took pity on you, so as to do even one of these things to you, out of compassion for you. Instead, you were cast upon the face of the earth, in the abjection of your soul, on the day when you were born. 

6 - But, passing by you, I saw that you were wallowing in your own blood. And I said to you, when you were in your blood: 'Live.' I tell you that I said to you, in your blood:

I remember...

my Dad being there along with my mom as we waited for a doctor in the check-up room, at Harbor-UCLA in Torrance. My Dad massaged my back for a while, because I was tense from hardly ever sleeping. My Dad’s hands soothed me as if he had secret powers. After the massage, my Dad revealed something wrapped up in a white napkin, from his cap with his keys, pen, and cell phone. It was the half of some kind of sandwich. It was for me. It was so good, I ate slowly to not waste it. I told my mom this was the best food I had ever tasted, and really I meant it. My mom remarked to my dad about how much I loved him that even this simple salami with Swiss cheese sandwich was the best thing ever for me.

Finally a doctor: he asked me questions I could not answer as I was in a daze, so my parents answered for me. As the doctor with nice blue eyes drew blood from my left arm, I had a vision of a lion with wings in my blood and other letters and symbols floating beneath my skin. They were going to test my blood to see if I had any drugs in my system, but I knew I hadn’t been drugged. 

I can still recall the moment the needle was poked beneath my skin to draw blood. This pain was nothing compared to the pain I had had to endure on those sleepless, paranoid nights back at the apartment. My muscles had been rigid, my neck tight, overall my body had been stiff. I imagined demons inside my bones, ever since that elderly lady didn’t let me inside her house through the front door; I had to enter through the back because she had said, “tiene el Diablo.”

From then on, my purgatory on earth had begun.

7 - I multiplied you like the seedling of the field. And you were multiplied and became great, and you advanced and arrived at the ornament of a woman. Your breasts rose up...

Be patient 

the book 

will be 

written. 

Be patient like 

when you were a preteen 

and you waited 

for your breasts 

to bloom. 

In front of the mirror, 

you questioned 

fate. 

You wondered what age 

you’d lose 

your virginity, 

when 

would you have a husband 

to go to sleep with 

every night of your life. 

You imagined you'd be 

in your late twenties, 

and you were right – sort of. 

You were nineteen 

when you gave up 

the flower of your purity. 

Go on now, 

and keep writing 

in your diary. Keep typing our story. 

Grow in the Light 

of the eternal Hand-holding. 

Be bold, 

be everything you’re planning 

and He's dreaming. 

You watch me, pun intended, 

every thirty minutes, 

right now 

I am 11:33 

PM. 

And now 11:34. 

Tomorrow I'll be 

these 

times again 

only 

for 

two minutes. 

Every hour you wear different masks, 

yet they repeat themselves 

day by day. 

On Sundays, you wear the mask of sanctity

it's not a mask you say, alright

you pray to God, 

you read The Word, 

think of Jesus, the Virgin, your Guardian Angel

I tic 

and talk 

and bother 

no one,

unless you are a patient 

with some disease, 

and I can be your worst enemy, apparently. 

If only you knew I will bring you closer 

if you let me, 

to GOD, 

you wouldn't fear me. 

And you mustn't fear death 

it's only a bridge, 

something like 
     a Dirge but on the other side you'll find a Dandelion waiting.

 

You used to love romantic comedies, 

until you gave those up, for a bit. 

They poison you, you thought. Why watch 

unrealistic stories 

on love and fate? 

And guess what? You did, 

but you didn't stay away for long.

 

You were born between two sevens - on the 7th month 

on the ninth 

in nineteen eighty 7. 

You think you're special, 

especially because of this. But 

you don't believe in numerology, or astrology, 

or anything "new age." 

 

Keep typing before they stop you. 

Keep writing before you sleep, 

you must finish this short piece: 

The Impending Breasts. 

How many girls around the world 

are waiting for their breasts to bloom?

Their groom to show up? I dare say most. 


...and your hair grew. And you were naked and full of shame. 

8 - And I passed by you and saw you. And behold, your time was the time of lovers. And I spread my garment over you, and I covered your disgrace. And I swore to you, and I entered into a covenant with you, says the Lord God, and you became mine. 

9 - And I washed you with water...

Labios compartidos/Labios divididos, mi amor/Yo no puedo compartir tus labios/Que comparto el engaño/Y comparto mis días y el dolor/Ya no puedo compartir tus labios/Oh amor, oh amor compartido

 

"Labios Compartidos" Maná

 

The squared radio emits sound waves that reverberate here in my bathroom. The removable showerhead is my makeshift mic, and the water cascading is my Niagara Falls – bathing is an experience more than luxury, it is almost a moment of communion with God and with my own soul.

The wonderful melodies coming from the radio make my body feel energized receives my scrub-caresses from. As I put on these white shower gloves my chrysanthemum-like hands revel in the warmth of water cascade yet I wish they could cleanse more than just dirt – if God could rub out: illicit kisses and efface where lips left feigned caresses.

With the water this new, this warm, no me quiero salir; I am so loved that my body does not want to get out or grow old, my intellect does not want to think about its problems, only believe in this love for Love, appreciation for the water, this love for myself, and I thank the loving God that made these precious things for me. 

Making sure to not step on the wet tile, I find my balance on the little green folded towel on the floor. Glancing in the mirror to my left, I slightly smile because I seem to be a beautiful queen moistened face and dampened baby hairs around my forehead, my undulated tresses are full of romance. My eyes - light are like water of honey, blended with a sea of green without end.

As the tectonic plates shift, at the rate that nails grow, yet shall I conquer this: slowly sweep away his face, these feelings of death, this dirt: love.

It's going to be the kind of hurt that tells me I'm dreaming - to simmer the sting. The kind of wound I felt in milliseconds, there in the lukewarm stream, in my light-years-of-tenderness-soul: that sobbed. But I must… But I miss... Don't say his name anymore. Sometimes I hide this –that I’ve been a woman crawling in lust yet will be so no more. 

The song heightened my grief that I have no love on earth... 

Through microseconds, God must have seen my soft sighs, and leaning against the tiled edge – I wept; He sighed to the nanosecond of my first outpouring tear which touched the rim of His robe and He choked up feeling my throbbing sad heart. 

Mi corazón desfallece con esto lo que llamamos amor - enfermedad. My heart is passing away with this called disease loneliness. 

This band Mana knows how to write a song, besides being in sync with my epically kaleidoscopically fragmented heart.


...and I cleansed you of your blood. And I anointed you with oil.”


My Sister, 

my Bride, 

how 

I've longed 

for you. 

"Unchained Melody"


originally by Todd Duncan

Oh, my love
My darling
I've hungered for your touch
A long, lonely time

And time goes by so slowly
And time can do so much
Are you still mine?

I need your love
I need your love
God speed your love to me

Lonely rivers flow to the sea, to the sea
To the open arms of the sea
Yes, lonely rivers sigh, "Wait for me, wait for me
I'll be coming home, wait for me"

Oh, my love
My darling
I've hungered, hungered for your touch
A long, lonely time

And time goes by so slowly
And time can do so much
Are you still mine?

I need your love
I need your love
God speed your love to me

every second by minute by hour

by morning by moment by night

my Light  

my Touch 

awakens you

i am your gossamer's chrysalis

but i will not be discarded as such

i am your garment, your cocoon, your room

unbeknownst to you 

Father is refining you

like a clay work of art

 to become 

perfected 

in me 

a fragile 

fragrant 

butterfly 

preparing 

to fly 

to even snowy peaks

yet I 

Who Am that i am

and your Great White Eagle 

My Bride once secret - 

you are as prophecies have predicted You now know your true soul's name from the Mind of Father 

though Scripture: 

Hephzibah...

 

your feelings of loneliness 

threaten to discourage you 

from following Me. 

You feel unworthy of Me

why?

because I Am the chosen One and Son of God?

your God, this greatest Lover of mankind? 

you're right

but I am 

also man 

and I have a heart 

and desire 

to be loved 

 

There are signs all around 

in everything pointing you towards Me

like Pocahontas and John Smith's compass

in the movie you loved as a child

Pocahontas was led to strange clouds 

mist becoming ships

there are treasures 

buried in sands waiting 

to be discovered 

in God’s Word

you know this

yet Satan tempts you to doubt

like My Thomas once did.

 

"Jesus Christ"

Brand New

Jesus Christ, that's a pretty face
The kind you'd find on someone that could save
If they don't put me away
It'll be a miracle

Do you believe you're missin' out,
That everything good is happening somewhere else?
But with nobody in your bed
The night's hard to get through

And I will die all alone
And when I arrive I won't know anyone

Well, Jesus Christ, I'm alone again
So what did you do those three days you were dead?
'Cause this problem's gonna last more than the weekend.

Well, Jesus Christ, I'm not scared to die,
I'm a little bit scared of what comes after
Do I get the gold chariot?
Do I float through the ceiling?

Do I divide and pull apart?
'Cause my bright is too slight to hold back all my dark
And the ship went down in sight of land
And at the gates does Thomas ask to see my hands?

I know you're coming in the night like a thief
But I've had some time alone to hone my lying technique
I know you think that I'm someone you can trust
But I'm scared I'll get scared and I swear I'll try to nail you back up (everyone now)

So do you think that we could work out a sign
So I'll know it's you and that it's over so I won't even try

I know you're coming for the people like me
We all got wood and nails
We turn turn out hate in factories
We all got wood and nails
We turn turn out hate in factories
We all got wood and nails
And we sleep inside of this machine

 

Luna returns 

to the garden of Eden 

in the twinkling of an eye 

she is bilocated 

to where Love like a bird’s love song at dawn 

had first called her by name. 

As a caterpillar 

going through its metamorphosic ordeal 

she renounces the world

 its attractions: deletes all dating apps, messages 

she makes an oath - she lays down her life - to the Son 

of The Everlasting Light. 

"I Am Your humble Warrior, my Love." 

As a Bridge Over Troubled Waters 

like the song Father inspired Simon and Garfunkel to write she stands in the gap...


Jeremiah : 31 : 22 - How long will you be absorbed in delights, O wandering daughter? For the Lord has created something new upon the earth: a woman will encompass a man.' 


...with her Messiah contained inside her soul 

they are together pacing the Seven Heavens on Earth. 

They are a Bridge between Heaven and Earth, 

Guardian of Love's children throughout Time; 

irrevocably linked 

to destiny and Eternity - it was foreordained 

and it's been sealed with His blood; 

she's been marked by Her Savior's tender kiss on the heart,

A sinner, Luna once abandoned Jesus 

for mere experiences with men, like Hosea's wife.

 

Despite the gushing wound in my heart inflicted on me through my lover's coldness - my obsession for him existed and was singing as a cigarette on my stubborn heart.

One night at home, I became obsessed with the late Brandon Lee and the music video by The Cure called Burn: "Every night I burn, Every night I call your name..."  I even came to emulate his character Eric Draven after having drunk in the shape of his delicate body, the gracefulness yet ferocity of his movements, the slant of his long, black hair, his playful smile, even his vindictive laugh. I became him. I knew that if I became just like Eric from The Crow, Sean would surely fall in love with me. I knew Brandon had passed away tragically, yet knew that his legend lived on, and this movie was a portal to reach him. I pressed play, rewind, and play, and thought I could decipher why he had been shot when shooting the film, had it been an accident, or perhaps a setup? I felt he wanted me to see him, to feel his pain, and I thought he could read my restless mind. I was enthralled by him. I became one with his spirit that instant through my unyielding admiration and respect. I needed the power of melancholic music to fuel and ignite my own battered soul and this growing desire. I didn't yearn for sex anymore, I didn't yearn for sleep, or nonchalant pleasures, I craved Sean's attention, I needed a life with all its robust passion, intriguing design, genuine purpose, and bittersweet drama. 

So I drank cold coffee and painted my lips as smoothly as I could in pink. I did it for Heath Ledger's Joker - my other platonic love, now in heaven who himself had his face painted when he so brilliantly portrayed the Joker. I drew out of the sides of my lips dark lines as if tracing scars, I became another sinister clown. And just like The Joker: a criminal’s criminal – I too was once in cuffs in the back of a cop car – a bit manic, smirking I felt the Trifecta in me – Heath, The Joker and me. I was me, but not who I ever wanted to be. Sean had birthed in me: a crow, a dark princess, no longer a coward, yet crowned by a fantasy my misery was writing. 

It was some days after Valentine's, and I was taking a shower around midnight. Once out, I dressed all in black and put on high-heeled black velvet boots. I didn't brush my tangled curls. I looked in the dresser's mirror. Below my clavicle, on the crest of my sternum, I decided to paint a pink heart and blended it with a matte lilac lip tint. In my mind, I was a henna tattoo artist. I dreamt with painting fake tattoos with makeup on my own daughter since I knew she loved emulating her mother and stealing my makeup bag to secretly color her lips red without a mirror. A thought re-emerged: it was Angelique, my three-year-old daughter the one to paint her face with my red lipstick so unevenly that I immediately knew: "Here is another Joker." Here was my baby: a girl with a smirk. I was making her a Joker. She was she, yet not who I ever wanted her to be.


This is what I made up my mind that if Sean was ever going to fall in love with me, I would have to vibrate at his level of dark energy, I would have to match his energy; I would have to be artistic, plus beautiful, and I would have to be tattooed like him. Painting with this thick pink lip tint on my sternum, S-E-A-N, I was leaving an indelible memory, if not mark on my skin, and sending out a message to him: I want to be your woman, and I want you to love me. He was my god and I was recreating myself in his image, and my baby in mine; we were echoes of Sean. As if snapping out of the self-induced trance for a moment, I went on to dip my brush's tip in brown inked eyeliner and wrote JESUS on my pink lower lip. This is who I needed to belong to, but instead, I felt I was part of the dark side as I professed my allegiance and love for Sean. I was intrepidly attracted and unhealthily enchanted. 

I also painted a brown outline for a strawberry on my cheek. I snapped a selfie of me and my crooked smile. I picked up my cell, opened Messaging, chose Sean's name from my contacts and clicked Send: the picture I had just taken with the smile of a feeble Joker-Woman languishing. Maybe he'll love me, maybe he'll think I'm crazy. With The Crow's Eric Draven now living inside me, plus Heath Ledger as another Guardian Angel watching over me, I no longer needed Sean, because Heath, Brandon, and me: we were a new trinity.

 

 

 

"Am I him?" she thought in 2005 with compassion for the most wanted terrorist of that year - Osama bin Laden. She then heard a song that made her feel instead like she was Jesus Christ listening to "My Sweet Lord" She sat up in bed and her older sister who had been sleeping next to her, woke up just in time to raise the volume on the radio station, amazed that this song hadn't been played or heard by her in what seemed like forever, "You're going to be okay," her sister had said knowing the song was a sign.

 

I had a Vision of me in a blue gown exotic and Jesus in exotic white embracing me at the stairway to heaven’s palace or mansion; we seemed a couple posing for a picture.

 

...He calls humanity's name one by one

yet there is a place for His Beloved in His heart, 

"Remember who you are, My Dove. Trust Me. And we will get through this together, but please, stay near Me and keep finding your purpose and passion in Me."

 

Luna senses who she was, is and is to become

yet she questions everything 

including religion, her visions, her dreams and herself. 

 

The Great I Am 

has had this plan hidden. 

She: Luna the secret Weapon 

against Satan, 

is the Daughter of Jerusalem 

yet also one with The Woman clothed with the Sun; 

the Virgin of Guadalupe appeared on the steep hill 

of Tepeyac to Juan Diego in 1531 

so that the indigenous people 

and also Luna 

would one day recognize her calling and follow 

the dawn of the new era and Light 

coming to the gentiles: Jesus Christ 

in the NAHUI OLLIN or four Petaled flower 

representing The life in the blessed Virgin’s womb, 

the most precious Gift to Luna and the people 

and Remnant who Luna represents. 

Luna’s coming was written in codes in the Bible. 

She has Orion’s Belt etched by God in her skin as a sign 

It was the year 2011 when the constellation Corona Borealis adorned her forehead shaped: 

a glowing crown in a selfie 

when the first time she wore her pink veil 

glittering with lines of gold thread. 

The night before, she had been singing along to Serious 

by Duran Duran as she gawked at Sirius 

in the night sky. She was drawing signs to remember: 

Who am I? 

What's life for? 

Do I have a Twin Flame? 


 

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Prologue

aRCHANGEL mICHAEL speaks:

dEAREST Luna child of God,

I bring you a message from The Most High God, and who is like Him? Who is worthy to receive all the Glory? Only the Most High!

God the Father speaks:

I Am that I Am is my Name daughter, but you already know this...here I Am for you. I know all, and all that you have been going through, your mental ordeals, everything has seemed confusing to you. You have been tempted to doubt, to withdraw your heart and feet from following Me, but please listen not to the Snake and Deceiver instead listen to My Son for this moment. I am preparing you as the most precious Bride for your Divine Bridegroom My Son Jesus Christ. You know what this means - you shall be the perfect pen in My hands - an instrument of peace, a channel for love. Daughter, listen, I am commending you with the lineage like no human eye except for Jesus my Son has seen - past, present, and future children of your living God of this universe, all children who are willing to accept Me and emulate My Son and cross this desert into the path of virtues, thorns, and roses, shall be called blessed by Me and you are blessed as of now that you are accepting your mission - to write, and to lead for Me - lead the little ones to My still waters, where no eye has seen, and where no hack will snatch them ever away. Yes, I have used the word "hack" alluding to abortion, since they break My Eternal Heart of Omnipotent Father when so called doctors and nurses dismember the precious body I had so lovingly created to reflect My image on earth...tears.....like rain....now thunder....now lightning....I will not stand by and watch this genocide take place forever....this homage to Satan thirsty for blood from My innocent ones; My children cry out, "Why Papa?" 

“Never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.’”

(Romans 12:19)

 

 

 

 

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Déjà vu

Archangel Michael

 

Child,

 

The Most High God 

is commending you 

with a lineage like no eye except for the Triune God

has seen 

and now you 

past, present, and future children of the living God 

they call you - starling - creature of the Pleiades and Orion

to lift up your cross

to marry Jesus... 

your cause defend

to save this 

your brothers and sisters 

this human race.......

before 

the possible 

horrific outcome 

of this entire cosmos' annihilation...

don't take this lightly

let this take place instead: your sacrifice

give your heart to He who deserves it

.....shed tears, 

years, 

give light, 

emanate love

give off words like exuberance

shed fears and old doubts 

for Jesus' Most Precious Heart 

bled 

for you 

all

and still 

He offers 

you 

the Rose 

of Sharon...

it was destined for you

He stands here like Aragorn recruiting for battle

and waits for your reply,

"What say you?"

 

 



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fLASHING bY

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~

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