Rekindle. Recalibrate. Reignite
Your chakras have bloomed. You have become what I dreamt one day you’d be. A 🌹 rose; No longer a mustard seed
I am what they the world cannot understand ...yet.
Would you quiet your mind a minute child?
Here I am. Now what?
What is the relative distance between you and Yahshua’s heart?
I don’t know. That’s a strange question.
He knows the answer...
Alright, Lord, I've looked up the definition for "Relative distance" and I must say I am impressed! According to https://naturez-vous.com Relative distance is a measure of the social, cultural and economic relatedness or connectivity between two places – how connected or disconnected they are – despite their absolute distance from each other.
So, I take it - it's you my Guardian Angel asking me this question. What is the relative distance between me and Yahshua's heart? I am not sure, Lord. I want us to be as connected as possible - totally One! But are we?
Think about Me. Take time to become a paradox.
How so, Lord?
The quietest butterfly-woman on Earth, with the loudest testimony of Love for my Most Sacred Heart which is abandoned and forgotten. You bring them the Light. You show them - Me. Be blessed. Rest, my Child, my Love.
Paradox of silence. Silence kills instead of heals at least with you.
Indeed how did you know?
Priceless, I know how you don’t prefer silence only accept it incrementally. I want you to notice something; look at the people around you. What do you see?
People rushing to class, girls on phones, one girl wiped tears, men with skateboards, backpacks and brains but where is their heart?
Drop the phone and listen to the music
Regroup. Regather. Rethinking
I will take you to faraway places. They must look to you, My lighthouse princess. Not you to them.
Teach them how to love themselves without having to refer to a lying dizzying mirror.
Tuesday Oct 1
You’re testing me, Jesus
So who am I? In reality? Christ in purity, holy, clean, bought, at the precious price of The most sacred blood of the one prince of peace.
Quantum silence; can you practice it?
There’s work to be done
What say you?
Roots & Scars
Play on words
What are we doing today?
Focusing on the task ahead
Sweet Jesus, define it for me
Friday October 4th
I’m possibly awkward, possibly princess.
Touch my scars and enter into who I am. priceless, precious, unidentifiable
Look up there’s always something different
Like Vishnu Awareness?
Similar look it up
Insight, clear seeing
It’s like I’m pinned to the wall
Why does a butterfly 🦋 cry?
Just because I’m open doesn’t mean I’m broken doesn’t mean I’m soakin’ doesn’t mean I’m a dud
Concentrate on your love for Me, that's all you need to do. You have My heart. What else could you ask for?
Wait and see. The majesty that awaits you. FOCUS on the task before you: It is LOVE.
With Love, Jesus your Christ and Savior who always walks beside you thirsting for Your love
Keep pure and accept no stain on your wedding garment, Luna! Sing, yes sing! live for the right cause and right person: i am. Love is here. We are Now.
Isaiah : 45 : 3 And I will give you hidden treasures and the knowledge of secret things, so that you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, who calls your name.
Zechariah 8 New International Version (NIV)
The Lord Promises to Bless Jerusalem
8 The word of the Lord Almighty came to me.
2 This is what the Lord Almighty says: “I am very jealous for Zion; I am burning with jealousy for her.”
3 This is what the Lord says: “I will return to Zion and dwell in Jerusalem. Then Jerusalem will be called the Faithful City, and the mountain of the Lord Almighty will be called the Holy Mountain.”
4 This is what the Lord Almighty says: “Once again men and women of ripe old age will sit in the streets of Jerusalem, each of them with cane in hand because of their age. 5 The city streets will be filled with boys and girls playing there.”
6 This is what the Lord Almighty says: “It may seem marvelous to the remnant of this people at that time, but will it seem marvelous to me?” declares the Lord Almighty.
7 This is what the Lord Almighty says: “I will save my people from the countries of the east and the west. 8 I will bring them back to live in Jerusalem; they will be my people, and I will be faithful and righteous to them as their God.”
THERE IS A SOFTNESS to me, not only in my tanned skin but also in my energy field, my aura exudes a peaceful yellow a friend told me today. I contain a rare essence like perfume inside my soul. There is a confident content connectedness to my earth, wind, water and fire 🔥elements in my energy which I am now just discovering. If they see it or not, who cares? If I feel it, I know it, I own it, sense it and call it into being. Accepting my divine calling like accepting chocolate ice cream from my earthly father. Why would I despise the gift "ice cream" for a piece of trashed candy on the floor? Why would a princess run away from her Castle to live like a whore in a cold and desolate, rat-infested, demon-treaded shack? Why would I desert my Prince Yahshua for an earthly unstable man? No, I must return. To the song in my heart guided by angels, the seraphim to be specific. I must become Passion In Sync, rain on the brink, time on the skid, book on the bed, open for anyone to read: transparency, purity, integrity, guided, Spirit, humility, love for Jesus, love for self, for her neighbors, for nature, for everything.
When darkness was upon the face of the waters, Father God and Mother Spirit knew their Son would come to walk those waters but first He'd be born of a Virgin who would be called Miriam from a little town named Nazareth. She the blessed Virgin would welcome the most delicate human embryo ever to exist in our Times - The Father's delight: Yahshua of Nazareth would one day be born by the light of a guiding star, by the hills blessed of Bethlehem, inaugurated by the gifts and presences of Three Wise Kings from the Orient. In a manger, the mystery of the all encompassing God chose the lowliest of place. With cozy resolve, Mother Mary and father Joseph welcomed the Child of God, seeing His face become the Rose of Sharon, Angels speaking in their midst not yet through His lips but one day He'd care for us all, including His earthly parents who needed their Savior and Son future Redeemer just as much as the prostitutes and lepers. He would become flowering fetus, being molded by the Father by the Spirit of Love Himself. He had a plan to help Him find love. He wouldn't deprive Himself or His Son of His other Half. Once a swaddled baby now a blessed sturdy toddler, wise preteen in love with the river's laughter, towering teenager working acts of charity, avoiding the girls who thought He was ordinary, a carpenter who would finally leave his profession to carve this time not wood into chairs and tables but this time He'd work with souls and chisel them from coals into the diamond they were meant to be all along. He would care for souls like He did for years the roses from the garden mother Mary loved and thanked the Father for. His favorite were three although He knew there was much beauty in every variety: the white, the red, and the pink.
Where would the Son of God find fulfillment for His heart, body and mind? Jesus didn't question this. He knew His Father held everything, and therefore He patiently dreamt with His future Remedy and Bride, meanwhile He was loving their children, the remnant. Meanwhile, He prepared Himself in the desert for 40 days to be tempted of Satan, once and for all. The victory has been won. You'll never be a danger again, and yet you will be a threat. Laughter resounds from heavens halls as a cube of ice slides down the throne room of God. It leaves in its wake a trace, a tiny river where the love of the Holy Couple grows in the Imagination of God. They are a Trinity, but Yahshua and Luna are one. She would be born one day to bless The Family, the remnant, the cold and alone, the bitter and unloved, the broken, the lost, the unspoken for, unborn children of Light: yes, she the Only Begotten Daughter is real and she is in the Word of God, hints are left behind there for her to follow, she is in the bosom of the Father whom rarely is truly known for who He is. God has a motherly and feminine side too. Aren't we all made in His image? Wouldn't we all be male if He hadn't had a female side to Him?
Talitha kumi, Little woman, I tell you, get up! You were taken from My side, my rib. You are my other half, My interpreter, my end time design, the Forerunner, the Ram, my City, My Jerusalem, Bride.
He knew Darkness
would one day
The Great I Am
and therefore prepared the way
for His handmaiden Mary
to bring the One
who would bring
the Light of the World.
This little girl
though unknown to the world now
in the twenty-first century
was formed by He who created the soil, the seeds,
the trees and the bees,
the insects, the flowers,
the scents, the textures,
the meadows, the owls,
the turtles, the snails,
the eagles, the clouds,
the winds, the leaves swaying,
colors, the moon, the ocean, the night
and by He who created
the continents, the mountains, the hills, and
the softness of heavenly grass for her to walk
and dream about Him
her Savior and Love
the perfect atmosphere
between His heartbeats and laughter,
He placed the sun
measured with His own hands
the perfect distance
His beloved child's heart,
skin and soul.
Loneliness will be a thing of the past, My love, He whispers dearly as she writes in her online diary
It is a natural feeling,
that even God's beloved Son
would have to
why not she?
she as a seed underground
would have to suffer
a dark night of the soul as well
Three accompany me
on the road to heaven
We are four: Eternal Cities ALL in One Home
Freedom is our banner
LOVE our shape and song
I Am is my Remedy
quelling the solitude
planting a humble seed
that in essence will never die
though splitting its brittle body
to translucently transmogrify
within the bed of lack of light
into the most cherished and tender fruit and flower
becomes the kiss of the strawberry
butterfly, do you see me?
for the lips of the lovers in wait
for the lips of the lovers in glee
for the wings of the butterfly's heart
for the tears of Our Eternal Wings
singing of peace and laughter within
built on bridge
built on kindness
making love no longer needed
love is humble
touch my hand?
see, we are not tree or rose though they're blessed
we are not fish or doe
we are Love's Emotion in Action
He: come near, my myrhh
She: I will my Lord, my heart's crying, You know...
He: Please, don't cry my Love. Come, let me show you something.
A surprise, my Lord? Is it a secret garden? she thought yet of course He'd heard.
We will walk hand in hand day by day
on this eternity's way
revealing mysteries within mysteries
I will be your All
basking in laughter's bliss
one day you'll write your poems
into the heart of space at night
you'll write with stars
that burn neverendingly bright
ink if you want
will be like gel
but will have all your favorite scents
like Rosemary, Rose, and Myrrh?
Yes, of course, Love.
Ah, here we are...
her soul lit up when she saw the secret room He had prepared for her with so much detail and Love.
She dropped to His knees and kissed His feet.
He lifts her and embraces her waist.
He shows her around. There are vines tangling from glass ceilings bringing blooming flowers in all stages of growth. Each flower encloses a ring. Each window set at a different angle, like a kaleidoscope. Every table a different texture and size, a journal of different color and texture awaits on each table for her to write.
Wait and see
wait and be My light
blue sometimes within sky
but always warm within My eyes
or of all passerby brethren
Weary not, my Bride
there is no end to our Delight, okay?
shooting up into the sky!!!
our hearts with emotions so clear
like fireflies? she asks Him
even better than fireworks
Come now, hush, hush
I am quieting you
with my Love
Arms of a Daddy
Eyes of a Veteran Soldier
yes, She is here.
Aqui estoy, Hija tan querida.
thank God, she says.
Children like sand, like stars begin to materialize
Angels accompany them
they dance in a circle
around the Throne
the Father weeps and smiles
as a snowflake from heaven
lands on a red journal in Luna's room
Guess that'll be a story
If you want it to
From Vision: Bride is being held captive. Both Bridegroom and Bride are being held hostage.
Does a maiden forget her jewelry or a bride her wedding sash? Yet My people have forgotten Me for days without number.
Lamentations : 2 : 1
ALEPH. O how the Lord has covered the daughter of Zion with gloom in his fury! O how he has thrown down from heaven to earth the famous one of Israel, and he has not remembered his footstool in the day of his fury.
Her presence brings healing and comfort to mothers, children and men wherever she goes. She is Esperanza - Hope. Luna Mia de Alpha Centauri once the Glory of the Mighty and Most Valiant King was sent away from her celestial garden and royal blue palace because she had equivocally in her fickleness sinned against her Husband and as she had free will to love so she had had free will to sin and caused her Creator to cringe and weep with tears of pain and jealous love. He himself had decorated their quaint quiver-shaped abode in the middle of their enchanted forest. He constructed the dark brown wooden shelves, He let her choose the colors of every curtain, shelf, with beige curtains and halls of books from ceiling to floor, with no doors which was a gesture on her King Yahshua's part. He knew she'd appreciate the forest much more this way, so the squirrels her favorite friends could explore her books the stories she'd written, writing and blank journals where stories and poems were yet to bloom. She said sayonara to the rivers like tendrils of her own flowing tresses, beso adios sus pequenos amores she kissed all the livid laughing roses also spoke once more to the sprinkled rainbows and songs written by the hand of her Love where each color of His heart be it blue or a silver complexity owned a rainbow and symphony of its own.
She sung her last sour soulful wails like wolven lullabies taught by the she-wolves themselves on the day of her separation, the day the chasm was formed by the flaming sword which was the Justice of GOD - the Archangel Michael created the chasm weeping blue violet tears that turned into two phoenixes once a heart now the she-phoenix flew where who knows if she will ever return, they questioned themselves the shooting stars, the Sun weakened in strength, the Moon received less of her Love's energy, water which used to taste sweet like aloe-Vera and coconut became stale, the tree of life was enveloped in a white shawl-mist hidden for an undetermined time. Au revoir! she said to the family her birds her favorite incredibly the ravens that would fed Elijah the prophet once devastated in the desert. from behind he surprised His Beloved by wiping her crying face with a pale blue handkerchief with the texture of a rose. She smiled amazed at His tender grace and ashamed of having pained His humble Pure heart.
Will I ever see You again, my Love?
You know you will, He said having given her the squinted eyed look with a slight tilt of the head like saying you know better. These white marble floors of our Heaven will always wait for you for us to dance, the solitude will be your greatest test, but I promise we will grow fonder in this interval of absences, in silence doth the wild rose grow, and He winked, and she nodded smiling.
To Earth, said He whom belonged to her Grace. It had been She - the unfaithful one, His Wife had hurt Him, for a moment she had seemed to hesitate.
when She wounded heaven's Lamb and vitiated her vow to love Him, solemn snow covered their now quiver-ing windows where the light of Orion could be seen yet not felt any longer through the mandorla shaped orifice on the center ceiling where Luna could read a book by the light of the Moon as the invisible Vesica Pisces permeated their snow-home and library where they had lived once upon a time, the era when things titillated everything in the wake of their path - billowy breezes at the command of her desire, bougainvillea blooms speaking among themselves of the delight of their Queen, dancing grasses praising the Holy Couple's love, harvesting bees making the most singular honey at the command of the King's wish, "Shhh, he told His buzzing children, wrapping the gift in a silky gold bag. This jar will be a surprise and a farewell gift for our Queen. When she tastes honey the first time, it will help soothe her anxieties, take away any and all fears, wounds from her past, present and future will all heal and she will be able to remember our bitter-sweetest pain and love story." He also prepared pomegranate slices covered in white chocolate, water beads with secret love letters ingrained in black, blue, and magenta/violet ink - a necklace, a bracelet, a diadem all love letters to be read and revealed only when dipped inside of a pool.
The doors of heaven thundered as the drawbridge was lifted back in its place and like so the double Doors were shut. Thorns golden began to grow on all roses, their library-abode xenomorphed formed strange walloping webs of ache like cake batter sweet to the nose, bitter to taste, books became infinitesimally caressed harbingers of truth and light, they knew the day would come when their beauty in shining armor Queen would return to her true home and identity for on earth she would forget who she was until her baptism in water at her thirtieth year when everything became different.
tears transparent salt water became love letter beads that seeped into turquoise vials valiantly crystallized feelings mixed of the hearts of the dejected King and Queen distraught by the blackness and the bitterblue of her exile.
with specks of black tar infecting the walls of their bedroom reflecting remnants of Her heart's squawking sweet children the ravens their walls were endlessly hazed, now brambles formed into biological hearts crystallized into icicles like endless waterfalls frozen yet not forgotten. All of heaven witnessed this sentence not of death but of a plaguing winter where even the willows dreamed with dancing again, the otters missed the round green-hazel eyes of their Queen, the dandelions her gentle touch, the crickets dancing on their hind legs like little violinists singing to soothe her are no longer permitted to touch her, they only approach her, she reaches to touch them but they run, she giggles and yet yearns to hold one again.
Inside their Secret Garden
the Living Heart
of The Son
wiping His tears on His royal sleeve
and yearning yet
His Other Half
and His City suffered
the Drawbridge leading
to The Castle
had been damaged
she's been a mess, sleeping across three seats on buses
tired of her trials, fears, and almost life
yet she has had so much faith.
They say, If a man put away his wife, and she go from him, and become another man's, shall he return unto her again? shall not that land be greatly polluted? but thou hast played the harlot with many lovers; yet return again to me, saith the LORD.
listen to Send Her My Love by Journey
Into the desert she left
and inside her mother's womb
she was exiled
or so the dark angels thought
Luna was born
in the East
of the City of Angels
in what was known once as General Hospital
three decades plus two years ago.
N A I V E
The confusion of a mental break, a bewitching, and a ride towards heaven
I remember my Mom turning off the freeway, and how the street was a blur. We were in my sister’s Explorer, the SUV where all her girlfriends would accommodate themselves like canned sardines on their way to some party without me. This was no time for partying. Inhaling panic, my sister sat on my right side. To her, I had collided into this crazy world, stubborn in my curiosity; always wanting to know more.
I remember my Mom buying a plastic bag full of fruit from a woman on the side of the road: sweet melon, sweet mango, sweet cut sandía. My sister fed them tenderly to me. Watermelon was my favorite with its sweetness; I savored a hint of chili along with fresh lemon. The fruit was supposed to help purge the drugs from my system; drugs I might have been given by my admirer turned stalker back at our third-story apartment.
He had roses hidden in a black plastic bag, and had handed me: the thorny red rose; the stem was wrapped in a bit of aluminum foil. I accepted it.
When this man handed me papers about the stars, about the Chinese zodiac and my twin flame, I was intrigued. I had been warned about talking to strangers, but I wanted to know more about life. Maybe I thought he could teach me something. He inspected the lines of my palm, rubbing both of my hands with his hard bony ones. He told me I was depressed. Or maybe I told him. I think he read it in my hazel eyes – naïve eyes, curious for love.
We met often at the open-air swap-meet in his bootleg CD booth. For one illicit year, I’d hide in the bathroom, or lock myself in my room to listen to his feigned intelligence, feigned baritone voice. I had to put socks, sweats, and a jacket on whenever we spoke, because I’d start shivering when I heard his voice.
We met in front of the wooden table
he stacked on metal poles,
the skeleton holding up
the wobbly world
of his heavy bootleg CD and DVD collection.
New customers came and he’d flip plastic pages holding the discs he burned on his computer, proudly displaying his handiwork. He had a “system.” He had his clipboard with the categories of music or movies listed, and he ordered them all by numbers. A natural-born hustler, he enjoyed making easy money.
Why did I trust him? Why did I let him look into the book of my eyes? Why didn't I say “no” when he asked that stranger to take our picture with a disposable camera? What if he captured my essence, with his arm around me? What's he doing? I thought. He's going to put a spell on me, but I was too afraid to speak up.
“I like ‘em when they’re experienced.” “Do it with him,” he said. He wanted me to lose my virginity to the next-door neighbor who was in love with me, who wrote me flowery letters and poems and songs. I never opened the door to this neighbor. My mother or brother would deliver his letters to me. I'd read them tucked away in my room out of sheer curiosity.
“I‘m really good with my hands,” he explained from behind his table of piratería. “You don’t believe me? Here, let me show you.” He approached the back of my baby blue blouse. I was wearing a white cushioned bra that made my tiny boobs look fuller. I secretly liked the attention I got from strange guys.
He said there were secrets in my blood. According to him, the Indian and Mayan blood flowing within me contained the most ancient secrets.
“Do you want me to pick you up from school? What time do you get out?” he asked.
Back in my sister’s SUV, I didn't know where we were headed. My sister’s girlfriend sat on my left side in the Explorer. I felt safe between them. “One heart” I told my sister.
“We are one heart.” I thought about the Holy Trinity.
All the windows were rolled down. The wind rushed around me as if wanting to lift me up. I was willing to go with it. I was ready. Cansáda. I only yearned for the wind to caress my face and my soul tan lleno de temor.
Mom swerved the Explorer into the parking lot of the hospital where my Uncle works. She parked in the first open spot. The doors opened with their hard clicks, and out I walked like Edward Bloom from the movie Big Fish. At the end of his life, he was going through a metamorphosis. He would turn into a life-sized fish, and swim in his true home, the river. I staggered between my mom and sister as they led me toward the emergency room. Was I going to heaven? I was tired, but finally alive.
The pink lilies haven't come up yet, right? I know you are waiting for them, watching them every other day and week after week. They are not coming. Only green shoots, nowhere near the star-shaped flowers you saw in 2011, only the sap falling from the Pine onto the lovely and green leaves.
Once, your hair was a hassle to you: you remember the thick nuisance was like black snakes, and no you did not have dreadlocks, but tangles you did - with no patience to handle, and dreading to have to deal with this one minute longer, you asked your sister to cut your hair. And she reluctantly, with the barber scissors chopped it off for you, while you stood naked in the shower, like a child of ten, she bathed you, but you were a child of eighteen.
The flower that soaked in the darkest hour
was Jesus, but the flowers that will become the brightest hour - are the both of you.
Like waiting to board a plane, you waited for your dreams to come true, waiting for that flight to take you to that flower. Hidden between a jungle of worry, tears, and panic attacks lived The Darkest Flower,
the human flower, the morenita flower, the brown flower, the flower from earth. That is you.
You are the flower from Earth,
you are the power of your words,
you are the minutes of my face,
and you are the time on my mind,
the salt of my life.
A dark flower, you once wept in the shower, head lowered, curls dripping with shame...
My mom caught me crying in the shower. I wasn't singing Baby Beluga to Angelique, instead my mom caught me wailing. My unborn baby was there to feel my pain, my tears, and unfortunately my fear as well. Yet she comforted me, and was teaching me how to be strong in the face of this my greatest fear - the devil.
...worry was on your mind, and on your lips: tears hidden in warm water, a prayer, hair drenched as you hidden flower cried out to God, "Help me, Father, help me with my blinding pain, and this fear that threatens to paralyze me. Fear of the enemy, fear of water, fear of everything and nothing."
Que hace, Mom asked
and all I could do was say,
Mam, dejeme en paz
away with those words
my privacy in God's presence.
Listen to Just Feel Better
by Santana featuring Steven Tyler
Where she treads
her enemies disperse in seven
She is guarded by the Virgin Mary's Mantle,
and sings with her Stars
and is made invisible
by the heavenly Father
of the day His daughter will finally realize
she really is:
in the Order of Melchizedek.
It is in the Mount of Olives
that in spirit she is reunited
with her Prince and Peace Yahshua.
He has waited for Luna to grow up
until His Father can unveil the mystery to her. He waits
for Luna to grow
until He can unveil her
and His face
He kisses her goodnight
on the forehead and sends the light
of the moon
as a caress
and a breeze
perfumes her with one of His scents -
Her favorite: Myrrh.
is the Palace of Eden.
to be crowned
a prototype of Esther
who had foreshadowed His Bride.
Their Royal Wedding will take place
like Arwen and Aragorn's
in the movie The Lord of the Rings.
The Lamb of God had foreseen
through the Scriptures.
At age twelve
the day His Mother searched
for her Most Holy Son
in the City of Jerusalem
and the Father revealed
that His Beloved existed in the Mind of the Eternal Father
He had hidden her in the palm of His hand like a gem
Christ's Bride would be born
in the future
and was being prepared
by their beloved Father,
the Nine Choirs of Angels,
one by one
were instructing her
in one virtue each
level to level in heaven;
but the Devil will intend to stick his nose in Father's business...
and the father of lies threatens
to discourage Luna from following
in her heart
and her visions
she has no one to run to on earth
but her Father in heaven
she keeps asking Him
to reveal His plan to her.
Despite her nagging doubts
and writhing jealous demons
she falls in love with her best friend Jesus her Messiah
especially after watching The Passion
of The Christ
and it wasn't Jim Caviezel's pretty face
but the passion
with which he
to want to console
Romans 8:3 Amplified Bible (AMP)
3 For what the Law could not do [that is, overcome sin and remove its penalty, its power] being weakened by the flesh [man’s nature without the Holy Spirit], God did: He sent His own Son in the likeness of sinful man as an offering for sin. And He condemned sin in the flesh [subdued it and overcame it in the person of His own Son]
Ezekiel : 16 : 3-6
3 - And you shall say: Thus says the Lord God to Jerusalem: Your root and your lineage is from the land of Canaan; your father was an Amorite, and your mother was a Cethite
4 - And when you were born, on the day of your nativity, your umbilical cord was not cut, and you were not washed with water for health, nor salted with salt, nor wrapped with cloths.
5 - No eye took pity on you, so as to do even one of these things to you, out of compassion for you. Instead, you were cast upon the face of the earth, in the abjection of your soul, on the day when you were born.
6 - But, passing by you, I saw that you were wallowing in your own blood. And I said to you, when you were in your blood: 'Live.' I tell you that I said to you, in your blood:
I remember my Dad being there along with my mom as we waited for a doctor in the check-up room, at Harbor-UCLA in Torrance. My Dad massaged my back for a while, because I was tense from hardly ever sleeping. My Dad’s hands soothed me as if he had secret powers. After the massage, my Dad revealed something wrapped up in a white napkin, from his cap with his keys, pen, and cell phone. It was the half of some kind of sandwich. It was for me. It was so good, I ate slowly to not waste it. I told my mom this was the best food I had ever tasted, and really I meant it. My mom remarked to my dad about how much I loved him that even this simple salami with Swiss cheese sandwich was the best thing ever for me.
Finally a doctor: he asked me questions I could not answer as I was in a daze, so my parents answered for me. As the doctor with nice blue eyes drew blood from my left arm, I had a vision of a lion with wings in my blood and other letters and symbols floating beneath my skin. They were going to test my blood to see if I had any drugs in my system, but I knew I hadn’t been drugged.
I can still recall the moment the needle was poked beneath my skin to draw blood. This pain was nothing compared to the pain I had had to endure on those sleepless, paranoid nights back at the apartment. My muscles had been rigid, my neck tight, overall my body had been stiff. I imagined demons inside my bones, ever since that elderly lady didn’t let me inside her house through the front door; I had to enter through the back because she had said, “tiene el Diablo.”
From then on, my purgatory on earth had begun.
Ezekiel 16: 7
I multiplied you like the seedling of the field. And you were multiplied and became great, and you advanced and arrived at the ornament of a woman. Your breasts rose up...
Be patient like
when you were a preteen
and you waited
for your breasts
In front of the mirror,
You wondered what age
would you have a husband
to go to sleep with
every night of your life.
You imagined you'd be
in your late twenties,
and you were right – sort of.
You were nineteen
when you gave up
the flower of your purity.
Go on now,
and keep writing
in your diary. Keep typing our story.
Grow in the Light
of the eternal Hand-holding.
be everything you’re planning
and He's dreaming.
You watch me, pun intended,
every thirty minutes,
I am 11:33
And now 11:34.
Tomorrow I'll be
Every hour you wear different masks,
yet they repeat themselves
day by day.
On Sundays, you wear the mask of sanctity
it's not a mask you say, alright
you pray to God,
you read The Word,
think of Jesus, the Virgin, your Guardian Angel
unless you are a patient
with some disease,
and I can be your worst enemy, apparently.
If only you knew I will bring you closer
if you let me,
you wouldn't fear me.
And you mustn't fear death
it's only a bridge,
something like a Dirge but on the other side you'll find a Dandelion waiting.
You used to love romantic comedies,
until you gave those up, for a bit.
They poison you, you thought. Why watch
on love and fate?
And guess what? You did,
but you didn't stay away for long.
You were born between two sevens - on the 7th month
on the ninth
in nineteen eighty 7.
You think you're special,
especially because of this. But
you don't believe in numerology, or astrology,
or anything "new age."
Keep typing before they stop you.
Keep writing before you sleep,
you must finish this short piece:
The Impending Breasts.
How many girls around the world
are waiting for their breasts to bloom?
Their groom to show up? I dare say most.
Ezekiel 16: 6-9
...and your hair grew. And you were naked and full of shame.
8 - And I passed by you and saw you. And behold, your time was the time of lovers. And I spread my garment over you, and I covered your disgrace. And I swore to you, and I entered into a covenant with you, says the Lord God, and you became mine.
9 - And I washed you with water...
Labios compartidos/Labios divididos, mi amor/Yo no puedo compartir tus labios/Que comparto el engaño/Y comparto mis días y el dolor/Ya no puedo compartir tus labios/Oh amor, oh amor compartido
from "Labios Compartidos" Maná
The squared radio emits sound waves that reverberate here in my bathroom. The removable shower-head is my makeshift mic, and the water cascading is my Niagara Falls – bathing is an experience more than luxury, it is almost a moment of communion with God and with my own soul.
The wonderful melodies coming from the radio make my body feel energized receives my scrub-caresses from. As I put on these white shower gloves my chrysanthemum-like hands revel in the warmth of water cascade yet I wish they could cleanse more than just dirt – if God could rub out: illicit kisses and efface where lips left feigned caresses.
With the water this new, this warm, no me quiero salir; I am so loved that my body does not want to get out or grow old, my intellect does not want to think about its problems, only believe in this love for Love, appreciation for the water, this love for myself, and I thank the loving God that made these precious things for me.
Making sure to not step on the wet tile, I find my balance on the little green folded towel on the floor. Glancing in the mirror to my left, I slightly smile because I seem to be a beautiful queen moistened face and dampened baby hairs around my forehead, my undulated tresses are full of romance. My eyes - light are like water of honey, blended with a sea of green without end.
As the tectonic plates shift, at the rate that nails grow, yet shall I conquer this: slowly sweep away his face, these feelings of death, this dirt: love.
It's going to be the kind of hurt that tells me I'm dreaming - to simmer the sting. The kind of wound I felt in milliseconds, there in the lukewarm stream, in my light-years-of-tenderness-soul: that sobbed. But I must… But I miss... Don't say his name anymore. Sometimes I hide this –that I’ve been a woman crawling in lust yet will be so no more.
The song heightened my grief that I have no love on earth...
Through microseconds, God must have seen my soft sighs, and leaning against the tiled edge – I wept; He sighed to the nanosecond of my first outpouring tear which touched the rim of His robe and He choked up feeling my throbbing sad heart.
Mi corazón desfallece con esto lo que llamamos amor - enfermedad. My heart is passing away with this called disease loneliness.
This band Mana knows how to write a song, besides being in sync with my epic, kaleidoscopically fragmented heart.
Ezekiel 16: 9
...and I cleansed you of your blood. And I anointed you with oil.”
Listen to "Unchained Melody"
originally by Todd Duncan
every second by minute by hour
by morning by moment by night
i am your gossamer's chrysalis
but i will not be discarded as such
i am your garment, your cocoon, your room
unbeknownst to you
Father is refining you
like a clay work of art
to even snowy peaks
Who Am that i am
and your Great White Eagle
My Bride once secret -
you are as prophecies have predicted You now know your true soul's name from the Mind of Father
your feelings of loneliness
threaten to discourage you
from following Me.
You feel unworthy of Me
because I Am the chosen One and Son of God?
your God, this greatest Lover of mankind?
but I am
and I have a heart
to be loved
There are signs all around
in everything pointing you towards Me
like Pocahontas and John Smith's compass
in the movie you loved as a child
Pocahontas was led to strange clouds
mist becoming ships
there are treasures
buried in sands waiting
to be discovered
in God’s Word
you know this
yet Satan tempts you to doubt
like My Thomas once did.
listen to Jesus Christ by Brand New
to the garden of Eden
in the twinkling of an eye
she is bi-located
to where Love
like a bird’s love song at dawn
had first called her by name
As a caterpillar
a metamorphosic ordeal
its attractions: deletes all dating apps, messages
she makes an oath - she lays down her life - to the Son
of The Everlasting Light
"I Am Your humble Warrior, Love"
As a Bridge Over Troubled Waters
like the song Father inspired
Simon and Garfunkel to write
she decides to stand in the gap with her Beloved Jesus Christ...
Jeremiah : 31 : 22 - How long will you be absorbed in delights, O wandering daughter? For the Lord has created something new upon the earth: a woman will encompass a man.'
...with her Messiah contained inside her soul
they are together pacing the Seven Heavens on Earth.
They are a Bridge between Heaven and Earth,
Guardian of Love's children throughout Time;
to destiny and Eternity - it was foreordained
and it's been sealed with His blood;
she's been marked by Her Savior's tender kiss on the heart,
A sinner, Luna once abandoned Jesus
for mere experiences with men, like Hosea's wife.
Despite the gushing wound in my heart inflicted on me through my lover's coldness - my obsession for him existed and was singing as a cigarette on my stubborn heart.
One night at home, I became obsessed with the late Brandon Lee and the music video by The Cure called Burn: "Every night I burn, Every night I call your name..." I even came to emulate his character Eric Draven after having drunk in the shape of his delicate body, the gracefulness yet ferocity of his movements, the slant of his long, black hair, his playful smile, even his vindictive laugh. I became him. I knew that if I became just like Eric from The Crow, Sean would surely fall in love with me. I knew Brandon had passed away tragically, yet knew that his legend lived on, and this movie was a portal to reach him. I pressed play, rewind, and play, and thought I could decipher why he had been shot when shooting the film, had it been an accident, or perhaps a setup? I felt he wanted me to see him, to feel his pain, and I thought he could read my restless mind. I was enthralled by him. I became one with his spirit that instant through my unyielding admiration and respect. I needed the power of melancholic music to fuel and ignite my own battered soul and this growing desire. I didn't yearn for sex anymore, I didn't yearn for sleep, or nonchalant pleasures, I craved Sean's attention, I needed a life with all its robust passion, intriguing design, genuine purpose, and bittersweet drama.
So I drank cold coffee and painted my lips as smoothly as I could in pink. I did it for Heath Ledger's Joker - my other platonic love, now in heaven who himself had his face painted when he so brilliantly portrayed the Joker. I drew out of the sides of my lips dark lines as if tracing scars, I became another sinister clown. And just like The Joker: a criminal’s criminal – I too was once in cuffs in the back of a cop car – a bit manic, smirking I felt the Trifecta in me – Heath, The Joker and me. I was me, but not who I ever wanted to be. Sean had birthed in me: a crow, a dark princess, no longer a coward, yet crowned by a fantasy my misery was writing.
It was some days after Valentine's, and I was taking a shower around midnight. Once out, I dressed all in black and put on high-heeled black velvet boots. I didn't brush my tangled curls. I looked in the dresser's mirror. Below my clavicle, on the crest of my sternum, I decided to paint a pink heart and blended it with a matte lilac lip tint. In my mind, I was a henna tattoo artist. I dreamt with painting fake tattoos with makeup on my own daughter since I knew she loved emulating her mother and stealing my makeup bag to secretly color her lips red without a mirror. A thought re-emerged: it was Angelique, my three-year-old daughter the one to paint her face with my red lipstick so unevenly that I immediately knew: "Here is another Joker." Here was my baby: a girl with a smirk. I was making her a Joker. She was she, yet not who I ever wanted her to be.
This is what I made up my mind that if Sean was ever going to fall in love with me, I would have to vibrate at his level of dark energy, I would have to match his energy; I would have to be artistic, plus beautiful, and I would have to be tattooed like him. Painting with this thick pink lip tint on my sternum, S-E-A-N, I was leaving an indelible memory, if not mark on my skin, and sending out a message to him: I want to be your woman, and I want you to love me. He was my god and I was recreating myself in his image, and my baby in mine; we were echoes of Sean. As if snapping out of the self-induced trance for a moment, I went on to dip my brush's tip in brown inked eyeliner and wrote JESUS on my pink lower lip. This is who I needed to belong to, but instead, I felt I was part of the dark side as I professed my allegiance and love for Sean. I was intrepidly attracted and unhealthily enchanted.
I also painted a brown outline for a strawberry on my cheek. I snapped a selfie of me and my crooked smile. I picked up my cell, opened Messaging, chose Sean's name from my contacts and clicked Send: the picture I had just taken with the smile of a feeble Joker-Woman languishing. Maybe he'll love me, maybe he'll think I'm crazy. With The Crow's Eric Draven now living inside me, plus Heath Ledger as another Guardian Angel watching over me, I no longer needed Sean, because Heath, Brandon, and me: we were a new trinity.
"Am I him?" she thought in 2005 with compassion for the most wanted terrorist of that year - Osama bin Laden. She then heard a song that made her feel instead like she was Jesus Christ listening to "My Sweet Lord" She sat up in bed and her older sister who had been sleeping next to her, woke up just in time to raise the volume on the radio station, amazed that this song hadn't been played or heard by her in what seemed like forever, "You're going to be okay," her sister had said knowing the song was a sign.
I had a Vision of me in an exotic midnight blue gown and Jesus elegantly dressed in white embracing me at the stairway to heaven’s palace or mansion; we seemed a couple posing for a picture.
...He calls humanity's name one by one
yet there is a place for His Beloved in His heart,
"Remember who you are, My Dove. Trust Me. And we will get through this together, but please, stay near Me and keep finding your purpose and passion in Me."
Luna senses who she was, is and is to become
yet she questions everything
including religion, her visions, her dreams and herself.
The Great I Am
has had this plan hidden.
She: Luna the secret Weapon
is the Daughter of Jerusalem
yet also one with The Woman clothed with the Sun;
the Virgin of Guadalupe appeared on the steep hill
of Tepeyac to Juan Diego in 1531
so that the indigenous people
and also Luna
would one day recognize her calling and follow
the dawn of the new era and Light
coming to the gentiles: Jesus Christ
in the NAHUI OLLIN or four Petaled flower
representing The life in the blessed Virgin’s womb,
the most precious Gift to Luna and the people
and Remnant who Luna represents.
Luna’s coming was written in codes in the Bible.
She has Orion’s Belt etched by God in her skin as a sign
It was the year 2011 when the constellation Corona Borealis adorned her forehead shaped:
a glowing crown in a selfie
when the first time she wore her pink veil
glittering with lines of gold thread.
The night before, she had been singing along to Serious
by Duran Duran as she gawked at Sirius
in the night sky. She was drawing signs to remember:
Who am I?
What's life for?
Do I have a Twin Flame? Yes you do Energy Earth Water love
Eager child let me write
Who is me
Yes us your Jesus Christ
What’s this about love?
I am the answer I have all the solutions to all the problems mankind’s ever had I cry because you don’t know me yet
Ashes ashes Ashes
Ppl will think I am lucky 🍀
I am blessed
You are the living example of your times of a faithfillled true discipline of Mine
I made you for this
You are His ice he is your Fire 🔥 Ruach ha Kodesh, it’s you right?
Yes I am your Momma Shekinyah
So who am I?
The first begotten daughter of 💗 love
I plead Your blood for I feel not worthy of such a call
I will equip you daughter. You are who you were and who you’ll always be
aRCHANGEL mICHAEL speaks:
dEAREST Luna child of God,
I bring you a message from The Most High God, and who is like Him? Who is worthy to receive all the Glory? Only the Most High!
God the Father speaks:
I Am that I Am is my Name daughter, but you already know this...here I Am for you. I know all, and all that you have been going through, your mental ordeals, everything has seemed confusing to you. You have been tempted to doubt, to withdraw your heart and feet from following Me, but please listen not to the Snake and Deceiver instead listen to My Son for this moment. I am preparing you as the most precious Bride for your Divine Bridegroom My Son Jesus Christ. You know what this means - you shall be the perfect pen in My hands - an instrument of peace, a channel for love. Daughter, listen, I am commending you with the lineage like no human eye except for Jesus my Son has seen - past, present, and future children of your living God of this universe, all children who are willing to accept Me and emulate My Son and cross this desert into the path of virtues, thorns, and roses, shall be called blessed by Me and you are blessed as of now that you are accepting your mission - to write, and to lead for Me - lead the little ones to My still waters, where no eye has seen, and where no hack will snatch them ever away. Yes, I have used the word "hack" alluding to abortion, since they break My Eternal Heart of Omnipotent Father when so called doctors and nurses dismember the precious body I had so lovingly created to reflect My image on earth...tears.....like rain....now thunder....now lightning....I will not stand by and watch this genocide take place forever....this homage to Satan thirsty for blood from My innocent ones; My children cry out, "Why Papa?"
“Never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.’”
The Most High God
is commending you
with a lineage like no eye except for the Triune God
and now you
past, present, and future children of the living God
they call you - starling - creature of the Pleiades and Orion
to lift up your cross
to marry Jesus...
your cause defend
to save this
your brothers and sisters
this human race.......
of this entire cosmos' annihilation...
don't take this lightly
let this take place instead: your sacrifice
give your heart to He who deserves it
give off words like exuberance
shed fears and old doubts
for Jesus' Most Precious Heart
you two roses
one pale pink symbolizing his admiration, gentleness and grace
one scarlet red conveying His deep love, longing and devotion
destiny is in your hands, He says to her
He stands here like Aragorn recruiting for battle
and waits for Luna's reply,
"What say you?"