Around Puddley Pond

And the lands beyond

Small creatures ran widely amuck.

And within the pond's border

Keeping pond law and order

Was none other than Beans the Duck.

One day a large man

In a red and white van

Spotted Beans out the corner of his eye.

He said, "Veggies and rice

Would be really quite nice

To go with a yummy duck pie".

But Beans was aware

Of the man with no hair

Tip-toeing to get quite near.

He waited until

It was quiet and still

And quacked loudly in the man's ear.

The man was in shock

And tripped over a rock

As Beans swam into the reeds.

He grabbed a large net

And it’s a pretty safe bet

He was preparing a dastardly deed.

He hunted about

And started to shout

For Beans to swim into his net.

"You're all out of luck

My little brown duck

With this cunning trap that I've set".

Now Beans was too clever

For this van driving fella

Or so he naturally thought.

So he started to swim

With nary a whim

Or idea of ever being caught.

But the man crouched down

Very close to the ground

And waited for Beans to take flight.

Then with arms at the ready

And feet nice and steady

He leapt up with all of his might.

He managed to cling

Onto Bean's wing

And bring the duck down with a thud.

There were feathers galore

And Beans was quite sore

From landing face first in the mud.

The van driving man

Put Beans in a can

And drove off with a smile on his face.

He headed for home

Where he lived all alone

In a house of remarkable space.

Now this place was big

With sheep, goats and a pig

And other animals roaming the yard.

There were horses and stables

And next to the table

Slept a nasty old dog with a scar.

Beans was uneasy

And felt a bit queasy

From rolling around in the van

As old baldy came near

He tried to jump clear

When he took the lid off of the can.

That set things in motion

And what a commotion

As Beans gave as good as he got.

Until the van driving man

Using only one hand

Tossed Beans into a pot.

Beans wasn't done though

The man thought he'd won, so

He chopped up a carrot and leek.

He checked on his pot

Which was not all hot

So he lifted the lid for a peek.

When he looked inside

Beans wasn't fried

Or cooked or baked or roasted.

He was just lying there

With a casual air —

He was not even the slighted bit toasted.

"You can keep on shovin'

Me back in this oven

But I'll just blow the flame out once more."

Said Beans to the man

With the red and white van

Who'd never heard a duck talk before.

"Now you listen to me

And let me go free

You don't seem to be very nice.

You're a nasty man

If you think that you can

Eat me with veggies and rice."

The man known as Steve

Could hardly believe

That the words came from the duck's bill.

And just to be clear

He wiggled his ear

To be sure that his hearing worked still.

Beans jumped to the edge

Of the window ledge

And before he took off to the sky.

He turned his small head

And quacked as he said

"You'll never put me in a pie."

Beans started to flap

As Steve the bald chap

Tried in vain to grab the smart duck.

But the window came down

On top of his crown

And the man with the van was stuck.

Beans soared overhead

He could see the man's head

Sticking out from the window below.

And that's when Beans knew

What he must do

To be rid of this van driving fellow.

Like a dart, Beans sped

Towards the man's head

Streamlined from his head to his toes.

And as Beans flew by

He heard the man cry

When he pecked the chap right on the nose.

"Take that," Beans thought

"That man shouldn't ought

To put poor ducks like me in a pie."

"Because of his messin'

I'll teach him a lesson"

So he landed on the ground nearby.

He walked up to the bloke

And gave him a poke

Right where he had pecked his nose.

"If I see your bald scone

Around Puddley Pond

I give you another of those."

As Beans flew away

He decided that day

To stay away from those sorts of men.

Who like duck pies and rice

And aren’t very nice

No, he won’t fall for those tricks again.

The End

©Copyright Steve Williss 2015