Steven Dittman

“Ever since being Dangerous Dan’s right-hand man, I have been feared by the other thugs, all except my new right-hand man Rabbid Randit. However, not even our new freakish face paint jobs keep the men more afraid than the super-powered bums that have been popping up here and there. We agreed as a group to stay out of Dan the Lion’s way. Now only a few weeks after he defeated our former boss, he has already put most of the rest of the gangs of the Wild West behind bars. In addition to him we have that Bad Bones fellow to avoid. Yes, the one they call Bernard has been killing ferocious wild beasts and sucking the very life out of any prison escapees and thugs that Dan the Lion misses. Why? Not for justice, but for revenge. It is said that Dan, and those jail cells are the only things keeping Bernard from his prey. Apparently, he feels that all of mankind has wronged him, or at least all the crooks of mankind, but he does not seem to trust anyone, as there have been accounts of the soulless beast murdering gunsmiths, sheriffs, deputies, and even the Marshall what took Shadwick’s place, Shiewood. The poor man was not in office two weeks, and has not yet been replaced. Finally, there have been rumors of a headless Civil War veteran named No-Head Nelson, picking off rogue criminals, and Indians with a gosh-for-saken sniper rifle. He leaves the innocent alone and only kills when there is no other option, but is especially bizarre for the fact that he cannot be sniped back. After all, the fudger tain’t even got a head! Anyway, we steer clear of all of those bozos and keep to the edge of the West pillaging gold mines old shacks, gradually recruiting more criminals to our cause, and getting filthy rich in the process. Eventually, regardless of any stupid powers we will be able to buy out the Wild West the honest way, in a manner of speaking. Probably what Dan should have done. The only problem is that Bad Bones is on to us, we have been able to avoid Dan the Lion and No-Head Nelson, but that confounded Skeleton has been a mere few days behind us for the past week. It is beginning to get on even my nerves.”

2 Rabbid Randit

“Yeah, Tom would be terrified. You know, we outnumber the boney barf-up about fifty to one, and that is not even counting all of the men we have posted at the outskirts. Sure, every now and then we will receive reports of a few dead guards, or lifeless carcasses, but honestly, it is probably because we were not there to stop it. I keep telling Tom that those posts are under-guarded, but oh no, we must stick together on the move. Personally, I think that we ought to stand and fight. So what if he proves to be flippin’ invincible? We could at least go down in the most glorious way imaginable. Yes, I ran just like the others from Dan the Lion, not but four weeks ago, but now I am a changed man. Rich, mean, and desert-hardened, I sincerely believe that it is going to take a lot more than a flimsy skeleton creature to scare me off!”