Of all the drugs I have tried money is the most evil and addictive, once you get some you just have to have more, no one ever has enough money. People kill and die every day for money, in fact I am pretty sure more people have died over money than those who have overdosed on heroin. I love money and yet I loathe it, but the sad truth of it all is that you can never truly get anywhere in life without it, unless you're a member of one of those crazy cults who live out in the wilderness and eat mushrooms all day, but that's a story for another time. Currently I am trapped in a basement; the air is a little stale, the temperature switching through various extremes and the walls are a featureless bland grey. I wouldn't mind it so much if I had a sense of time, but there are no windows, or clocks. My legs are tired from the strain of standing up for several hours and now I am starting to think that the winds have changed, so I am stuck with a permanent grin plastered across my face. Ever wondered why they don't put clocks on the lower basement floors of shopping malls? There are no clocks because they don’t want you to know the time, you see if you know the time you can plan ahead, know how long you have left on the parking, the time the bus leaves etc. The less aware you are of the time, the more time you are likely to spend on the shop floor, the more likely you are to buy. This mall is like a slaughter house, everything is suitably placed for your viewing convenience, floors upon floors, rows upon rows of items that perform the same functions as countless other items, you don’t even have to walk up the stairs, buy now! Buy quickly! Buy! Buy! Just fucking buy already! The only things that aren't convenient are the exits, that’s right they make it real hard for you to leave, there are only three exits out of this mall, two of which are on the middle floor and the last is tucked away in a lowly corner of the lower basement, once you’re in you don’t leave until you have bought something. At least that’s their aim anyway, after all they do have targets to meet and if they don’t meet them, then this place gets shut down and a new golf course or some houses or a swimming pool get built. But fortunately people buy, and they buy a lot, this place turns out quite a profit and the shoppers flock like mindless cattle, blundering about, asking stupid questions,
Excuse me, can you help me out here?
No I cannot help you
Certainly sir! What is it that you would like to know?
What’s the difference between that other machine up there and this one here exactly?
That other machine up there is cheaper but is designed to break down in a year or so, ensuring that you come back and buy a replacement where as this one performs the exact same function but is a different colour and is designed to break down in two years or so
This is the new pro plus version, gives you a cup of fresh tasting coffee every morning, real easy to use and has a nice design feature; you see how durable it is? This little beauty is guaranteed to last you up to two years, but trust me sir this thing is built to last a lifetime
Ah that magical word trust, you can trust me sir you know my name, it’s on my name badge, also you can tell from my rod like posture and that million dollar smile that feels like I am about to break my face muscles that I am a trustworthy fellow,
Interesting, I do like this machine, but I am not sure I can justify the price difference
Sir I am going to tell you something I don’t usually tell the other customers
I am like a porn star, even though I am making love to another person, I look at that camera and the whole experience feels intimate to thousands of viewers
Now I could lose my job for this but I think you would really enjoy this machine so I am going to tell you this anyway, you see that offer there, if you buy now you get forty percent off?
The cherry on the cake
Well because we have already sold so many models, we are thinking of taking that offer down in a few days or so, now the idea is still in the drawing board so it might never happen but my intuition tells me that offer is likely to disappear very soon and you won’t get a better deal anywhere else sir
That was a lie
Okay, I think I better take one then
Excellent choice sir! Just take your item to the till over there and they will assist you further, you have a nice day now!
Have a shitty day fuck face.
Bullshit I am really good at it and taking people’s hard earned funds is what I do best, do I feel bad? Sometimes, but how else would I fund my minor drug habit and weekly drunken antics?
I am not much of a drugs expert but I know half a gram of MDMA and a bottle of water is all I need to have a good time, rumor has it that MDMA was original developed by the CIA as a way to inhibit fear and anxiety on the battlefield, wouldn't be surprised if that were true, probably had some secret code name like project Amanda or something, but I am guessing they would have been pretty shocked to discover their soldiers dancing to electronic music and talking about how much they love each other instead of fighting the enemy. We are on our way to Pixels, a local drug den full of ket-heads and ecstasy lovers, two floors of gloriously slacked jaws, sweat filled mosh pits and rare individuals who feel like they have entered an alternate universe, the whole crew have made an appearance tonight,
Man! I would make the best drug-dealer!
Johnny is the loud mouthed idiot of the group, who would most likely be the first to (if he hasn't already) to purchase a sofa equipped with a toilet so he can shit where he pleases. Maybe I am being slightly unfair, Johnny is a good guy, his humor is a little off and his intellect isn't pleasing to the ear but he makes a reliable friend, without him we wouldn't have our weekly drug doses,
Johnny, you would probably snort all your stuff before you sell it!
Ah, Emily (or Em as she prefers to be known) always the reasoned voice of the group, silver spoon, blue eyes, blonde hair dyed jet black, never really understood why she was here. She could have had everything given to her if she'd stayed pretty and innocent but instead she chose drugs, tight jeans, piercings and loud music.
No, you fuckers would probably snort all my stuff before I had the chance to sell it
Asif is very quite through all of this, just sat gazing out of the taxi window, its his first time taking MDMA, Em talked him into it something about stress relief, maybe he's worried, usually I wouldn't care but I think the drug is starting to kick in,
Asif? You okay mate?
He turns as if awakened from a dream
Yeah... I am good
It will be fine we'll look after you
Yeah Asif don't worry baby, you'll be okay
Don't really know why Em chooses to call everyone baby but I guess its like her catch phrase or something
Its not that... Its-
The taxi draws to a halt outside the night club
That will be five-fifty please
Em hands him a fiver and some change then quickly scrambles out of the car,
Lets fucking party!
Johnny exclaims, Asif reaches for the door, I contemplate asking about his Dad but decide against it and open my door, greeted by the infamous sights of a Saturday night in the city. A woman in a maxi dress sits crouched in a door way, a pool of sick resembling chicken soup around her feet, a man lights a cigarette but his face quickly becomes puzzled, I wonder how long it will take him to discover he has lit the wrong end. Another man shoulder barges past me, I have a momentary vision of pulling out his ugly yellow teeth with a pair of pliers, his mouth filling with blood and his screams turning to gurgles as he begins to choke, but then it fades. We enter the night club, florescent laser beams scout the dance floor, repetitive beats leak from the giant speakers, there are too many people, I imagine them like walking corpses because that is all we are, all we will ever be, everyone of us dies eventually, no matter what we do, the metronome keeps swinging and the clock just keep on ticking,
You want a drink?
Johnny yells into my ear, I nod, we shuffle past the crowd of slack jaws to the bar, Johnny orders two beers, Em has dragged Asif to the dance floor and is waving to us, Johnny holds up one finger and mouths the words, one minute,
Has it hit you yet?
No, not yet, you?
Yeah I am feeling it, lets go dance, I need to find some pussy
We shuffle past the slack jaws once more, one of them smiles at me, tall, muscular, dark skin, he seems familiar,
Mikey! Stop being boring!
Em pulls me into her, I can feel her warm breath on my face, her soft breasts push against my chest, her dilated pupils sitting on a sea of blue like dark ocean pools stare into mine, I imagine kissing her lips, her tongue massaging mine, but then I catch something out of the corner of my eye. Asif is standing nearby staring at us, Em notices my gaze and follows it, Asif quickly looks down at the floor, she giggles, pushes me away and writhes her body side to side in rhythm with the music, I begin to feel sensation of happiness materialising out of nowhere, my whole body feels suddenly very light as if a great weight has been lifted from my shoulders, I smile and begin to move to the rhythm, I close my eyes and feel a bright light warming my body,
Now its hit you!
I feel Johnny's arm around my neck, the strong aroma of sweat and cheap cologne, I don't mind it,
Yeah, it has, I feel great!
You always do Bruv! You always do!
I look around but I can't find Asif, for some reason I feel like its very important that I must find Asif and tell him that there is nothing between me and Em, that we're just friends. Em has her eyes closed running her hands through her thick black hair, flashing a smile that reveals a treasure trove of pearl white teeth, I move towards her,
She half opens her eyes and mutters,
He went towards the stage
I wade into the sea of moving bodies, the sound of the music rises and the laser beams turn into thick multi-coloured search lights, I must find Asif,
I feel someone's hand on my shoulder, Its the dark skinned slack jaw from before, apart from his jaw isn't slacked anymore and is quite prominent,
You want a drink?
No, I am good thanks
For a moment he seems puzzled by my answer and then speaks again,
Oh... Okay, you want some Ket then?
Ah Ketamine, a powerful tranquiliser used in operating procedures, but make it into a powder and sell it on a Saturday night like this and you'll make a fortune, normally I would refuse, but I am pretty high already,
I am not paying for it
And I am not selling it
Lets do it then
He looks around and beckons me towards the toilets, we find a vacant stall, he produces a small bag of grey powder, cutting two lines, we both do a line each, we look at each other for a moment in silence, it is in that moment standing over a filth ridden toilet that I get the sudden urge to kiss him, I move in but he turns away
Not here man! Lets go back to mine
There are shapes moving around all blurry and dark like shadows dancing in the candle light, sounds, murmurs, voices. Am I dead? I can’t move and I can barely see, I shut my eyes, the dancing shadows disappear, darkness everywhere like a motionless ocean of black liquid and I drift away, float on the surface, my ears submerged in silence. I open my eyes and I am welcomed by sunlight streaming in through a partially open curtain, I am in a bed the soft blanket pressed against my naked body, I can see and I can move. There are various items of clothing strewn around, crumpled, lifeless, a desk, an upturned chair, a half closed laptop playing a quite repetitive beat from its speakers. I turn to see the body of a man lying next to me, also naked, muscular, must have been a good fuck, shame I don’t remember. I stumble out of bed and sift through the various items of clothing, picking out ones that belong to me, my t-shirt hanging off the side of a full length mirror, one shoe under the bed, the other near the door, my jeans lie crumpled at the foot of the bed, boxers still inside them, I don’t even bother looking for my socks. I dress shuffling around the room; my partner is still sleeping or appears to be anyway, time to go.