after the fall

 

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for daddu and his endless love
with a sincere apology for all the pain caused

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grades

imagine a world where letters make you who you are
imagine a world where someone else gives you those letters

imagine a world where a C is just not good enough
even though you tried your best
even though you didn't know
that they were giving you a letter tomorrow

imagine hating this world so much
that you can't work for those letters
imagine needing good letters so much
that you splinter when you can't have them

imagine crying in a bathroom over the work you haven't done

imagine that and you will have imagined her

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shatter

she stays in bed
a bowl of noodles at her elbow
a computer at her fingertips

she looks peaceful, she looks whole

(she spends every waking hour this way)
(when the bowl is empty, she fills it again)
(when the computer is tired, she is terrified)

(she's melting into the sheets)

(the sheets are torn)
(no, not frayed)
(look at those gaping slits)
(what is doing this?)

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~

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