Zarina Tassmin Khan. That was my name. Most preferred to be called Tassmin. I was born on 21st of October 2000. 

I lived with my parents and two brothers, one five years younger than me, one three years older than me. Even though my brothers were annoying as hell, I still loved them to bits. My parents, they've loved me to bits, even though my Dad was strict, you know how Asian Dads are like to their daughters I loved him, we had a different kind of father daughter relation than others, he had expectations but he told me that if I try my best then he would be happy with whatever I achieve in life, he was like Fatima's dad (I shall get to her afterwards). I lived a normal life, like others.

My dad was different to different to his brothers, like I mean, I remember once my mum told me when I was born, he was so happy that he had a daughter, like most Asian dads want sons etc, but apparently all my dad ever wanted was a daughter, and I'm literally so close to my dad, and he's done so much for me which I can't ever imagine repaying, like I would never leave my dad when I was younger, I'd cry for him. I'd be nothing without him.

My Dad is the youngest of the 4 brothers, and he has a younger sister not much younger from him.

His eldest brother has 4 children. 

The eldest one, Hassan, was one of a kind. H ewas nice, amazing and he was really close to each and one of us. He was literally the eldest out of us and he would be the one who would make all the minor and petty problems disappear, thats how good he was. I was more closer to him than Hammud, but I dont get why I wasnt as close with him, but Hassan Bhai was a great person and I could rely on him with things. He is currently working in a hospital working as a Biological Scientist.

The second eldest, Hammud, is my inspiration, the one who always remains positive, the one who was always nice to me, even though he's a guy, having him as a cousin is considered as a blessing. Even though I couldn't be crazy with him alone, well kinda, he was still one cousin who was amazing. To be honest, I don't know what we would've done if he wasn't in our family. He has currently finished university and got his degree in physics. Thats amazing, isn't it?

His younger sister, Hafiza was also a blessing to have in my family. She was actually also one of my favourite cousins. Hafiza is one of a kind, she is literally the best one to get advice from but being positive, she can't do that, I'm gonna have to go to Hammud for that. Since I was young, she was like. She included me in everything, like literally, she would never leave me out, she would make sure I was never alone, that's what I loved about her. She is three years younger than Hammud, she is currently on her way to University.

Haya. She's the same age as me. I was close with her like she was amazing, she was quiet and kind. She was actually shy when we was at family gatherings like she was one crazy gurrrll like calm down your cheese.

My Dads second eldest brother, also have two children, which are both guys. 

His eldest son is the same age as Hammud, he hadn't gone university, he's working in his Dads company as a business man. Salman is his name. He is nice but we ain't that close but I can still be crazy around him which was good. 

His youngest son was a pain. He is currently 19 and is currently doing his third year of sixth form. He is literally my favourite cousin (sorry to the others). We had done everything together, like literally. We can share everything with one another, we are crazy with one another and the place is so loud when we're in the same room. Othman is just something else. How my life would've been so boring without him. Othman makes fun of me, I make fun of him, we're like them cousin goals. Our family get so annoyed when we're together like it's not our fault you made us cousins. 

Okay, so my Dad third elder brother, he has two daughters. The eldest daughter, Fabiha, who was also someone I could also share anything with, like anything. She's 19 and currently studying sociology at University. I would literally show and tell her everything that's happening in my life etc. I am so lucky to be able to cll one of my family memebers, not only my cousin, but my best friend. Even though she was like four years elder than me, we were like glue just like me and Othman. 

His youngest daughter was like my best friend. Fatima. She is a year older than me, she is another someone I could also share anything with, like literally anything. She had always stayed positive, not always but most times. I could be crazy with her, and turn serious straight away. Since we was little, we were just always close to each other.

Now for my family..

My older brother, Zahur, is in 13 currently doing Alevels. He has taken, chemistry, maths and english. When he's older he wants to do something with medicine. You see, all my uncles from my dads side loves science, they expect us to love science too (we don't have too but they would love it if we did). But only a few of us want to do science as a career like Hamza, my brother, and perhaps Fatima.

I loved my brother, I would do anything for him. No matter how many arguments we had, no matter how much he bullied me (as a joke of course) he was still my brother. He was like the first friend I've had. He was the one who had helped me feel better after my first cry I had remembered. He would do anything for my happiness. 

My younger brother, Mustafa, I also love this brother. He is just so cute and weird at the same time. No matter how much he stresses me out with food and toys and whenever he begs me to play with him, I don't know what I would've done without him. Everybody loved him. To be honest everyone would be lost without him, even though he was young, he actually gave the best ideas to everyone like literally about anything. I was actually happy he was born as I didn't want to be the youngest of my family. 

There were also other cousins I love which live in Birmingham. We was always talking to each other on WhatsApp or FaceTime. There were five siblings altogether. Two of my cousins were twins, a guy and a girl who are the same age as me. I'm really close with them, which gave us an advantage to go Birmingham most holidays. They were my Grandads brothers kids and grandkids if you were thinking who I was talking about.

I completely forgot about my grandparents. They were my love. I loved them. They're the reason I'm here today.My dads parents were amazing. My grandmother is just amazing. She would just give me food whenever I asked and she was just plain nice even when someone's rude (not saying we are) but she's that kind of person, a person who can not ever be rude. My grandfather was just someone who would start bants at the most randomest times, it's incredible. We all loved him for that. But.. he was really strict. Like really STRICT. 

My mums parents were amazing too. They were more calm but if anyone badmouthed anyone from our family they would just start yelling in front of a huge crowd like they wouldn't care who's watching, especially my grandad.

My mum has an elder sister and brother, and a younger brother.

Her first brother is the eldest of the family with two sons. The eldest son Mohammed, he was the same age as Hammud, he was a great cousin, always crazy and always supporting meh no matter what. He was a bit like Hammud tbh but there was something about him which I liked better. He owns his own media company and can probably hack into anyone's social media account. This cousin is married and has a son who's three months old.

The other son, Zayn, he was more of the cheeky brother, he would take everything as a joke, but he was a really great cousin, he was also nice etc. Even though I said he would take everything as a joke but he had that side of him where he would really give great advice. I could reply on him on advice and cheering up (Like Othman). He is 21 years old. H e had just finished his sociology degree at University.

My mums oldest sisters kids were really nice. There was three of them. Two girls and a guy. 

The eldest child of that family was 19, Arifa. She is amazing. Arifa would listen to anyone's problems and solve it within a jiffy. She could have a joke and everything. What I liked about is that she doesn't judge anyone before talking to anyone, like looks don't decieve her. Arifa is currently studying Law at University.

Her second daughter, Mizmah, was 17. Mismah was just amazing too, she was quite quiet but she also was one of them cousins who would be there to help anyone in need of help (if that made sense) especially for her family. I've seen her bad side and trust me, you wouldn't want to get on her bad side. She's currently doing Biology, Sociology and Psychology for her a level subjects.

Then there was the son of the family. He was the same age as my little brother, they were like best friends and would do anything for each other. I really liked him as he wouldn't hit anyone etc like other cousins do. This little dude was called Mehnaz and he was jut a weird kid, he would sing and dance at the most randomest times. Him and my brother were like best friends for ever.

My mums younger brother just had one son. Hussain. He was weird, funny and a joker too. He's the same age as me but I'm like a few months elder than him. We relate so much and are interested in similar things but the thing is, I'm so much better than him you know. Well of course I am, Im amazing

I recently moved house so I'd have to move school too. This new school of mine which is have to move too, I think I will be happy there as Fatima and Othman are already in that school. I just hope I am happy there and I at least learn something and do something... well for at least my parents. 

As you would see it, I will tend to talk about my cousins from my dads side a lot cos I saw them more often and to be honest I was so closer to them.

 Zarina Tassmin Khan. That was my name. Most preferred to be called Tassmin. I was born on 21st of October 2000. 

I live with my parents and two brothers, one five years younger than me, one three years older than me. Even though my brothers were annoying as hell, I still loved them to bits. My parents, they've loved me to bits, even though my Dad was strict, you know how Asian Dads are like to their daughters I loved him, we had a different kind of father daughter relation than others, he had expectations but he told me that if I try my best then he would be happy with whatever I achieve in life. My dad was different to his brothers, like I mean, I remember once my mum told me when I was born, he was so happy that he had a daughter, like most Asian dads want sons etc, but apparently all my dad ever wanted was a daughter, and I'm literally so close to my dad, and he's done so much for me which I can't ever imagine repaying, like I would never leave my dad when I was younger, I'd cry for him. I'd be nothing without him. As for my Mum, she was like a sister I never had, even though she was my mum, I could tell her things like a sister. I could share my feelings and she wouldn't be there to judge me. I could share my feelings about anything.. well not anything but you know what I mean. She always knew what she was talking about and she never judged anone for what they did or said, she just gave the best advice to everything and anything in life. She was one in a million. I literally won't know what to do if my mum wasn't my mum.

My Dad is the youngest of the 4 brothers, and he has a younger sister not much younger from him.

His eldest brother has 4 children. 

The eldest one, Hassan, was one of a kind. He was nice, amazing and he was really close to each and one of us. He was literally the eldest out of us and he would be the one who would make all the minor and petty problems disappear, thats how good he was. I was more closer to him than Hammud, but I dont get why I wasnt as close with him, but Hassan Bhai was a great person and I could rely on him with things. He is currently working in a hospital working as a Biological Scientist.

The second eldest, Hammud, is my inspiration, the one who always remains positive, the one who was always nice to me, even though he's a guy, having him as a cousin is considered as a blessing. Even though I couldn't be crazy with him alone, well kinda, he was still one cousin who was amazing. To be honest, I don't know what we would've done if he wasn't in our family. He has currently finished university and got his degree in physics. Even though peole judge him, it doesn't really affect him. Me, Othman and Fabiha didn't have a problem with him, he was sometimes just really selfish.

His younger sister, Hafiza was also a blessing to have in my family. She was actually also one of my favourite cousins. Hafiza is one of a kind, she is literally the best one to get advice from but being positive, she can't do that, I'm gonna have to go to Hammud for that. Since I was young, she was like. She included me in everything, like literally, she would never leave me out, she would make sure I was never alone, that's what I loved about her. She is three years younger than Hammud, she is currently on her way to University.

Haya. She's the same age as me. I was close with her like she was amazing, and kind. She was one crazy gurrrll like calm down your cheese. She was loved by everyone (like me of course), and she would try and make sure that everyone was okay. The thing about Haya, she cared about other people other than herself, she put everyone else first. Haya was sometimes negative but that was ok because I would be there to help her with her self esteem.

My Dads second eldest brother, also have two children, who are both guys. 

His eldest son is the same age as Hammud, he hadn't gone university, he's working in his Dads company as a business man. Salman is his name. He was also one of a kind, he knew how to cheer you up when you were down, have great advice and was a crazy person to be around with which was awesome because I could act like a weird person around him which I found good.

His youngest son was a pain. He is currently 19 and is currently doing his third year of sixth form. He is literally my favourite cousin (sorry to the others). We had done everything together, like literally. We can share everything with one another, we are crazy with one another and the place is so loud when we're in the same room. Othman is just something else. How my life would've been so boring without him. Othman makes fun of me, I make fun of him, we're like them cousin goals. Our family get so annoyed when we're together like it's not our fault you made us cousins. 

Okay, so my Dad third elder brother, he has two daughters. The eldest daughter, Fabiha, who was also someone I could also share anything with, like anything. She's 19 and currently studying sociology at University. I would literally show and tell her everything that's happening in my life etc. I am so lucky to be able to cll one of my family memebers, not only my cousin, but my best friend. Even though she was like four years elder than me, we were like glue just like me and Othman. 

His youngest daughter was like my best friend. Fatima. She is a year older than me, she is another someone I could also share anything with, like literally anything. She had always stayed positive, not always but most times. I could be crazy with her, and turn serious straight away. Since we was little, we were just always close to each other.

My mums family were as amazing too. They were more calm but if anything if we were altogether and we were all in a good mood then oh my god, we would be louder than dogs. If anyone badmouthed anyone from our family they would just start yelling in front of a huge crowd like they wouldn't care who's watching, especially my grandad.

My mum has an elder sister and brother, and a younger brother.

Her first brother is the eldest of the family with two sons. The eldest son Mohammed, he was the same age as Hammud, he was a great cousin, always crazy and always supporting meh no matter what. He was a bit like Hammud tbh but there was something about him which I liked better. He owns his own media company and can probably hack into anyone's social media account. This cousin is married and has a son who's three months old.

The other son, Zayn, he was more of the cheeky brother, he would take everything as a joke, but he was a really great cousin, he was also nice etc. Even though I said he would take everything as a joke but he had that side of him where he would really give great advice. I could reply on him on advice and cheering up (Like Othman). He is 20 years old. He is in his second year of university doing a sociology degree.

My mums oldest sisters kids were really nice. There was three of them. Two girls and a cheeky little boy.

The eldest child of that family was 19, Arifa. She is amazing. Arifa would listen to anyone's problems and solve it within a jiffy. She could have a joke and everything. What I liked about is that she doesn't judge anyone before talking to anyone, like looks don't decieve her. I could open up with her about literally anything and we were really crazy with one another along with Mizmah. Arifa is currently studying Law at University.

Her second daughter, Mizmah, was 17. Mismah was just amazing too, she was quite quiet but she also was one of them cousins who would be there to help anyone in need of help (if that made sense) especially for her family. I've seen her bad side and trust me, you wouldn't want to get on her bad side. She's currently doing Biology, Sociology and Psychology for her a level subjects.

When I was with them both, we were unstoppable, and no one would dare to say anything against us and we were as loud as ever and our elders would be complaining at us for being so loud.

Then there was the son of the family. He was the same age as my little brother, they were like best friends and would do anything for each other. I really liked him as he wouldn't hit anyone etc like other cousins do. This little dude was called Mehnaz and he was jut a weird kid, he would sing and dance at the most randomest times. Him and my brother were like best friends for ever.

My mums younger brother just had one son. Hussain. He was weird, funny and a joker too. He's the same age as me but I'm like a few months elder than him. We relate so much and are interested in similar things but the thing is, I'm so much better than him you know. Well of course I am, I'm amazing.

Now for my family..

My older brother, Zahur, is in Year 13 currently doing Alevels. He has taken, chemistry, maths and english. When he's older he wants to do something with medicine. You see, all my uncles from my dads side loves science, they expect us to love science too (we don't have too but they would love it if we did). But only a few of us want to do science as a career like Hassan, Hammoud, Hafiza, my brother, and perhaps Fatima.

I loved my brother, I would do anything for him. No matter how many arguments we had, no matter how much he bullied me (as a joke of course) he was still my brother. He was like the first friend I've had. He was the one who had helped me feel better after my first cry I had remembered. He would do anything for my happiness. 

My younger brother, Mustafa, I also love this brother. He is just so cute and weird at the same time. No matter how much he stresses me out with food and toys and whenever he begs me to play with him, I don't know what I would've done without him. Everybody loved him. To be honest everyone would be lost without him, even though he was young, he actually gave the best ideas to everyone like literally about anything. I was actually happy he was born as I didn't want to be the youngest of my family.

I completely forgot about my grandparents. They were my love. I loved them. They're the reason I'm here today.My dads parents were amazing. My grandmother is just amazing. She would just give me food whenever I asked and she was just plain nice even when someone's rude (not saying we are) but she's that kind of person, a person who can not ever be rude. My grandfather was just someone who would start bants at the most randomest times, it's incredible. We all loved him for that. But.. he was really strict. Like really STRICT. 

My siblings are amazing, just as my parents and cousins along with my grandparents. I wouldn't know what I would've done if they weren't here.

As they say ~

"A daughter is a mother's gender partner, her closest ally in the family confederacy, an extension of her self. And mothers are their daughters' role model, their biological and emotional road map, the arbiter of all their relationships."

"It was my father who taught me to value myself. He told me that I was uncommonly beautiful and that I was the most precious thing in his life."

"What children need most are the essentials that grandparents provide in abundance. They give unconditional love, kindness, patience, humor, comfort, lessons in life."

"A brother may not be a friend, but a friend will always be a brother."

"Cousins are people that are ready made friends, you have laughs with them and remember good times from a young age, you have fights with them but you always know you love each other, they are a better thing than brothers and sisters and friends cause there all pieced together as one."

What do I start talking about first? I'll start talking about my Mums side first and leave my Das side to last as they were more annoying.

So, when I was 6 (the year my younger brother was born), we started doing more family gatherings and started hanging out more as a family etc. One day, we went to my eldest uncles house from my mums side and everything was going fine until us cousins were watching cartons on the television and then we started to watch Narnia.When the film was over, our lives changed. We all finally started playing games with each other and pretended we was the people from the film etc. It was so weird as me made new characters too.

As all of us grew older, we understood more of each other and made sure no one gets left behind and everyone is crazy with one another. At my age now, which is 14, I'm actually really close with the cousins. A few weeks ago it was my cousins wedding time (from an extended family, the relation is long, you know how Asian families are). And of course we was invited as we were close family to them. And we all had to go as it was compulsory. Apparently I had loads of cousins, neices and nephews from my mums side which were like younger than me, that is why Mustafa always went so he could always play with them.

We had to somehow all fit in the two relatives houses.The day before the wedding, us cousins were in the garden of the house and were having banter and what cousins normally do.

When we started doing family gatherings, we all didn't really interact much as we were all growing up but we did play with each other from now and then, but it was quite awkward. Like we've went to each others houses before and played with one another but that didn't really mean we interacted much.We always got into arguments when we were playing with each other and I think it started from there.

I got more closer to Hassan who was the same age as me, and we would go through the times together and we did. But I feel like I was closer with Arifa and Mizmah as we were always interested in the same things like clothes, thoughts and stuff like that. As I grew into a teenager I got closer to each and every one of them and I felt like as cousins we would get weirded day by day and we were not going to be unstoppable.

Now for my Dads side, this should be fun cos I have more things to talk about with them as all of them lived in London and it wasn't hard to get to their houses either. When I was younger, as I said before I was so close to my Dad that I was always going with him to his relatives house etc and I would always leave with him whenever we went as a family.

One day we went to my eldest uncles house and it was Eid; so literally everyone would be there. I was always the one who would go to my cousins along with my elder brother. We would fight, play and do loads of other activities together. And as we grew older, our relationships as relatives grew stronger and we were all United, like no one could break us apart. I became so close with Haya and we started sharing each other secrets.

All them cousins were always crazy and I could always have a laugh with them. As soon as I moved schools, I had became more closer to Othman (not that I wasn't already) but we would always stick up for each other and make fun of each other also argue with each other from when I was 13/14 along with Fabiha who was literally someone who I could also vent too.