Have you ever hurt yourself so badly that you couldn't feel a thing? Have you ever woken up the next morning and thought that you had been dreaming? I have. Since I was seven years old I have had a wheel chair. Even though my fall happened five years ago, I still remember what it was like to walk. I remember the feeling when I went bare foot in the snow. Or the feeling when I ran across the school yard trying not to be caught in a game of tag. I remember the tingling sensation when I got up after sitting on the ground for too long. And yes, I miss it.  

My name is Jasmine Silnor. I am twelve years old and I live in Ottawa. Why Can't I walk? Well it's simple. I was running around in my dads apartment complex playing with a new toy he had just got for me. My Dad had been replacing the glass windows  in our living room because our windows were foggy and for some reason even when you wiped the windows they would never look clear. Anyways, I wasn't paying attention and I tripped and fell out the window. I somehow landed without hitting my head. which was really lucky. we were also only on the third floor. Which was also lucky. I was rushed to the hospital. The doctors told us that I had broken all my bones in both legs and paralyzed my lower spine. I would never be able to walk again. 

I am so excited for tonight. The basketball team in my school is competing against the school near by called Bayside Public School. Our school is called Ravensbrook. I know I can't play on the team, so I watch instead. Our coach for Ravensbrook begins explaining the rules of the game. I'm inpatient. I shift to a comfy  position in my wheel chair, tapping my fingers on the armrest. I hum a song in my head, trying to remember all the words. I'm so distracted that I almost forgot about the basketball game. I look up just as Mr. Smith blows his whistle. The game has begun. I watch intently as the blue on our jerseys combine with the yellow on the other teams. The ball flies up in the air, just missing the basket. Julia, my best friend is now dribbling the ball up the court. I smile and cheer as she tosses the ball up to the basket. Julia has been my best friend for a long time. I knew her even before I got this wheel chair. We actually met each other during tryouts in basketball. Julia and I used to meet up at the park with my parents to play some basketball. Of course we weren't very good at it. We would throw the ball high up in the sky and pretend that we got the ball into the basket. I had to drop out after my incident. Julia on the other hand continued to play. And now she really rocks at basketball. The ball flies through the hoop. Julia jumps with joy as all the other kids on the team congratulate her. There aren't many people in the bleachers. Mostly just parents. I clap and call out to congratulate Julia too, but my voice can't be heard through all the other cheers. I settle down. I feel left out from the team, even though Mr. Smith said that I could be assistant coach. Shouldn't I be up there with him explaining the rules and encouraging the players? Julia glances up at me and smiles. I feel as though I should smile back, so I try to smile as convincingly as possible. I always try to support Julia in games as much as I can, but it's hard when you wish you could be playing the game too. A player from the other team passes the ball to the another player and the game begins again. Throughout the game I imagine what it would be like to play. I imagine myself as Julia scoring a three pointer. I imagine kids from my team congratulating me. Calling my name and cheering. And then I notice a girl sitting in the bleachers. She is on a wheel chair and she looks Sad. her dirty blond hair falls in front of her face. She glances at me and we smile at each other. Although, her smile looks a little artificial and fake, like its made of plaster. That is the real me. The game is over. Our team won. For some reason though I'm not cheering or congratulating kids from our team. I'm sitting, staring of into the distance. People push their way out of the gym, some disappointed and some cheery. I feel a hand on my shoulder. I blink out of the daze I was in. "Hey Jasmine," Julie calls. "you in there?" I glance back at her and smile. This time it's a real smile. "We won" I say. My voice sounds raspy. Probably because I was yelling at my little brother Daniel to stop coming into my room for no reason. He's five years old. I'm so happy we moved out of our apartment before he was born. Otherwise, I would have to share a room with him. Julie and I are the last ones left in the gym other then Mr. Smith. "We better leave." Julie says. I nod, and turn to leave the aisle I was in. Julie and I leave the gym in silence. When we get outside I wave to her as she climbs into her moms car. She waves back and we quickly do our secret handshake even though we're at least ten feet away from each other. A few moments later my mom pulls up right in front of me. She clicks a button that opens the vans door in the back. A ramp extends out of the van. I give one last wave to Julie as I push myself up into the car. I click my wheelchair into a special place made just for wheelchairs. My mom clicks the same button as before, But this time the ramp folds in and the van door closes. "How was the game Jasmine?" My mom looks and sounds tired.  "It was good." I reply "Our team won." "Oh. Did they? That's great." I know she doesn't actually mean it but I understand that she has a lot on her mind already. She's works all day, every day. My mom and my dad split up after my accident. Mom and him had already been living separately before, but they weren't divorced. my mom keeps telling me that it wasn't my fault, it was my dads and that he should have been watching me, but I still feel guilty about the separation whenever it's mentioned. The van pulls up into the driveway. I push myself down the ramp. Mom helps me inside the house. She pushes me to the stairs and half lifts half drags me onto the stair lift. I sit in the chair and press the remote. I slowly slide up to the second floor. My mom follows close behind. When I reach the top, she lifts me up and carries me into my bed. She grabs a pair of pajamas from my dresser and hands them to me. She helps put my pajamas on. Then she tucks me under my blanket and kisses me on the forehead. "Goodnight Jasmine." She calls softly as she closes the door behind her. The room is pitch black. There is no sound. I close my eyes and slowly fade off into a deep sleep.