Welcome to the already introduced side of my mind. This is the 2nd Book of the story "Confusing Touch" That means that this story is also R rated so.. Children exit the room now.
Just as before I am currently working on these chapters. When I'm not busy, two chapters will come out. When I am, I will try my best to get at least one out! Anyways, thank you!
1: Jesse Lynn Matthews
2: Trust Is Important
3: The One I Want
4: Take It Back
5: What's "Business" To You?
6: Night Out
7: Just Another Mistake
8: Lesson Learned
10: Some Space
Jesse Lynn Matthews
This is me, my name is Jesse.
Jesse Lynn Matthews.
I have chestnut curly locks and my eyes are brown. I'm pretty skinny but still in shape.
I'm currently 23 years old.
I'm in a relationship with a male, many think it's unsettling just because I'm also a male.
..Yes... I'm gay..
My life didn't begin very well, I was always told by my parents and family that I was a mistake and that they wanted a girl. They never let me go outside to play with other kids, I was homeschooled so I didn't have any friends. That's probably the reason why I'm socially awkward.. When I was 6 I finally got to go to school, elementary was the hardest for me. I had the dream to become an astronaut, or an artist, or anything to help the world... But I couldn't get there, just because it was too hard for my parents to show love and support.. And so, everyone treated me like a freak, some alien from another planet. Until I met a girl, Caroline. She was blonde and wore pretty clothes everyday. I was envious of her, but instead of expressing anger.. I showed admiration. We became amazing friends. We got so close that her parents started buying clothes for me. She was like my sister. As I grew older I became smarter. I started getting interested in arts. Photography, Music, Sculpture, etc. These were my hobbies. I walked through middle school, breezed through high school, and began preparing myself for university.
This was the moment of happiness to my parents, for the first time in years they knew what to do... They kicked me out of the house. I had to work my ass off to pay for college, when I finally got the money I lived in my dorm. Caroline and I still kept in touch, after all she had done for me that was the least I could do. My roommate was also socially awkward. He was tall and pretty pale, he had black hair and eyes. He never talked to anyone, his message list only had "Mom", and everyone thought that he couldn't speak.. Or hear.. I instantly became friends with him the day I walked in. He was actually really interesting, and had a great sense of humor. He said his dream was to be a comedian, of course he couldn't possibly get there with that severe anxiety. I knew what it was like to chase a dream without help, I didn't want him to suffer the way I did. So I helped him. I helped him with his studies, his social anxiety, his grammar. I did everything I could to help him in any way. His grades went up, he soon had a group of friends, and he became the class clown. Everything was going smoothly. It was only a few months later that he changed. He started acting weird around me and smiled even more when I was close. His tone became more gentle than goofy, he began raving about his appreciation of me. His friends would bump his arm and whisper in his ear whenever I bent down. Everything got confusing..
He asked me to meet him in the library a few weeks later. I wasn't busy that day, so I stopped by. I searched and searched for him everywhere but he was no where to be found. It was tiring, so I stopped and got my head lost in a book. I suddenly heard him approach me. I turned around to see his face inches away from mine.
At that exact moment he held my hands and explained his feelings for me. Short story was, he asked me out. I sincerely apologized and told him that I didn't think of him that way. Apparently I made the wrong move because he got pissed. He pulled me into the restroom and pushed me to the wall. Holding my hands like handcuffs, he kissed me and kissed me anywhere he possibly could. Rejection was the last straw for him.. That very day in the dorm room, he took me. He took my innocence for his own selfish pleasures. I was suddenly his property. I couldn't answer back or say "no" or else he would hit me. I had to obey his every wish like a slave. The worst part was that he lashed his anger out on me, even while he took me. I tried pleading and begging him to let me go but he wouldn't budge.. My grades dropped drastically, that didn't help my social anxiety at all, I was the loser.. The only one who ever stuck around with me was that prick, just because he got something out of me. Pretty weird way of showing appreciation if you ask me.. After all this, I started missing classes when I wouldn't before. Every day became a pity party, one that no one attended. One that no one bothered to ask why I hosted it. I felt like a clam, closing its shell permanently. My roommate didn't care, he got what he wanted. Good for him. I pushed through for five years, I became desperate for something good in my life. The degree. I finally got that stupid degree... I left my roommate and looked for a job wherever I could, but only found a pizza place. Pizza Corner.. A terrible childhood memory. Whenever I did something right around the house as a kid, this is what I was given. Pizza... I met Blayer, hate him now. Carol changed, it made me uncomfortable. I found Jonah, I'm currently with him. I'm at his house right now, I'm telling him this story. This clam finally opened up, and it's not another mistake.