From what I understand about you, there's a time limit on those bodies of yours. They just give up on you, some have said. Or they become this infected vessel that in some cases they cannot be fixed. At least, someone fearless would be fine with the infection or sudden loss of consciousness. That's what I've been told. 

But that's such an alien view isn't it? There's different sides to the story of what you call your own deaths. From the moment their heart stops, it begins. The fearful faces of those people you called your family, friends, colleagues have just begun. Most cry, I've seen. They cry and cry and cry and cry. One finds comfort in the action of hugging and saying it's okay. But I've seen red faces of anger. There are people screaming at the lifeless vessels. It's like a controlled chaos. 

The news to an unsuspecting human can be grave. It's like a slam of the breaks before a sudden incoming car. It's like the heart race of a oncoming panic attack. There's a wall and it hits your whole body. The tears start to not prick your eyes but they hurt, they burn on your face. But I've heard some try to stay strong. Their face so stone cold I've mistaken them as statues. But the thoughts are nothing but venom. The thoughts that I've seen race by like a car on a speedway. The way they remain frozen but are traveling a thousand miles an hour, really scares me. 

Have you heard their voice? I've seen some change dramatically as if that would change the fact that they're crying. I've also seen some smile. They repeat 'it's okay' almost mechanically. I've seen them drop everything to seclude themselves. Even their most loved things seem worthless to them and clearly they are vacantly going throughout the day. 

There's a ritual people follow. Burn them or bury them. Both are sad. Both have tears. They are memories imprinted on people. That I know for sure. The atmosphere is almost like everyone is paying respects to someone who hates noise. No one goes above a whisper. Even the speakers talk softly and everyone accepts it.

There's an empty look on their face as they sit at their school or job. They couldn't cry anymore because it was a sleepless night with the salty liquid running down their face. Nothing is on their mind because their brain blanks out everything. Only for the sole reason that anything reminds them of the dead. They've been constantly apologized to and given hugs. The world almost wants to shove this event in their face. It will never let it go. 

It's almost like this event causes others to be dead while living. That's how significant it is to the humans. 

   The insomniac has been informed that this particular case is the opposite of a motivational speech by a fellow reader. Take this case in caution. 

Wake up and make sure to feel worthless, okay? People look at you and I wonder what type of hideous things they're obviously calling you. Oh, look to the ground because you can't see people starring at you. They're judging you, I hope you know that.~ 

The world is your oyster! And also the one billion plus people on this earth. Do what you'd like. As long as it fits under the social rules and makes you look good and popular. Be a trendsetter-- oh wait, you're too stupid for that. Be a trend follower and pretend you set it.

     Welcome to the mind of a   

                  dumbass!             

        (You're the dumbass) 

I promise that asking people things will just cause you all the troubles.  You will get nervous and people are forcing you to do things that will overwhelm you. So then you have a little anger fit and thankfully everyone will remember!

See your face in that mirror? Yeah that ugly, disgusting, unfortunate face of yours? I hope you know that all your insecurities can be shown on that disastrous thing. 

Thankfully you're required to be constantly reminded of your inferiority and worthlessness. Also how your life is completely meaningles and you're wasting every second. It's such a refreshing situation and mindset to be in!

I bet if you're alone, your fears will be amplified. The silence will leave you only with your thoughts. I've heard your thoughts are delightfully dangerous. So take a tour of yourself and cry to sleep for me, will ya? 

Because I'd love to see you die.

 You cannot deny this very human feeling is inside me. I've been told it's very hard to wean off of once a person gets it. Why does this human feeling even work? It feels so horrible.

My heart starts beating so fast when I see them, it's like I'm going to die. I can't even speak to them or I'll stutter. They make me feel like I almost need them. Everything they do is perfect this is infuriating. I know that humans aren't perfect at all but they are. 

I love them. And I hate it. 

I hate that I've 'fallen' in love even though I haven't fallen at all! They didn't push me down to fall either. How does this falling in love work? Is it because it hit me so quickly it's like I've fallen? It's very complicated.

This feeling makes me want to claw it out of me. It's there and there and there and it's not leaving! I need it to leave. Something is sickening about this feeling. It doesn't feel right at all. How to love a human is not something I should be worried about. 

They're in my thoughts at every moment. Even when I need to concentrate, they are there. Why are they there? I need them gone. 

I love you human. But you need to lose consciousness.