Romeo and Juliet ...well not exactly

 

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romeo and juliet

HI i am theo  roman dean and this is my story

i made a website called mocospace after things got worsein my life i made it as a escape from my reality and my problems. i was 12 when i had made this site back then it was also a kid site. i was new to it so i didnt get on often but soon i started to get on when ever i was at my dads and had acess to a cell phone ide use his cell to acess my profile he soon got fustrated with that and he bought me my own cell and from then i was addicted to the site . i went on as soon as i got to his house i was logged in and was dead to the world . one summers day i got super bored and went into a emos chat room me and this user began a random word convo and had fun with it .

ohgr_ justinbieber

aztecg0ld(me)- korn

ohgr-jeniferlopez

(random names continue on )

aztecg0ld - ohgr private message me lol

ohgr- ok =)

aztecg0ld(addesohgr)

(ohgr(nevric) accepts)

we continued our conversation only thing is i thought ohgr was a she later on down the road did i find out was that she was realy a he. we became close kinda like best friends and he helped me with threw things. One night i went crying to him after getting my heart broken . me and him begane to speak in a i.m .

ohgr- what happend

me - just my family and then my bf dumping me i feel like as though i shoud take a break from guys and be with girls for a while .

ohgr- no

me- what why

ohgr-go out with me

me - 0.0 really

ohgr- yes =)

me - yes *hugs u *

ohgr-*holds u *

me and him have bin dating for about 2 weeks when a girl randomly adds me we had one friend in common him. we began a late night chat about getting toknow each other and about music . the next morning he messaged and broke up with me no resin why just left the same girl messaged me and i told her why i was upset.

teddygrahm_1- i know why he dumped u

me- why had i done something to upset him

teddygrahm_1- no he did me and him have bin dating for 3 months

me - omgim so sorry i didntknpw he even had a gfim sorry i wish would have known

teddygrahm_1 - its fine its not your fault its his

(aztec leaves convo )

i of course lost my mind in anger and told him off all he could do was say sorry and tell me he loved me. wich of course began our journey of becoming friends again nd doing something ive never thought ide do in a million years..... i dated him behind her back not caring wich of course didnt end well . me and her were speaking oneday and she slipped up and told me his real legal name. ide bin speaking to him for months and only called him two things nevric and nevsy turns out his real name was james. wich to me was like the most perfect name when i asked him bout he seemed upset that i knew. he didnt like people calling him that . me understanding what he felt bout his name cause i also disliked bieng called my name i told him mine and he then on shortend it and began to call me yesi instead of my user or my other name on there wich was midnight . its was a near the end of summer i still hadent told him my cell number i was stilll scared to give it to any one online. one day he asked to call me ive never spoken to him on the cell before and with out thinking i said yes i relized what i had done i was gona give him my number to a boy who lives in denver that i never met before and talk voice to voice. i started to get nervouse i started to sweat in fear nd started to think what if he didnt like my voice what if his was funny nd i laughed and hurt his feelings what if it was plain awkward and shy . but i did it any way i gave him my number and he called 5 minutes later from a denver number flashing up on my florida phone i was shy but i picked and said hello .

nevirc - hey

me - whats up

nevric - nothing your voice is so pretty its alot better compared to others ive spoken to

me- thank you i like yours to (i was blushing like a lil girl )

we continued to talk for an hour just about weird things sints we were both dark we ended up talking bout sieral killers (yea i know weird and creepy but i didnt care i just wanted to hear his voice ) we later hung up cause i could hear my sister coming .and didnt wan to get caught .

me and him have bin talking every chance i got and i started to relize i was truly falling in love with and didnt want to hide our relationship. no more and he left her and became fully mine. i was ecstaic i loved him i truly loved im i guess it was his shoulder length hair his slightly bigger lower lip his darck brown eyes his slightly deep voice his hieght and omg his slender but musculer bod. i was head over heels for this punk rocker and i needed him needles to say he was my addiction . when my mother suprised me and got a gen 2 ipod i was happy sints my cell wasnt aloud to leave dads i could i.m nevric from my ipod using to mocospace app and i couldnt wait when there was wifi ide leave messages when i was atschool i used a friends to leave him messages i just couldnt help leaving a message when ever i know he was online i was love sick only sad part was no one knew. i had to hide me and him or my mom would hit me and take everything away and he was the only thing that helped me get threw the pathetic life i was living the life i knew as my real life online i was cool darck and wrote blogs and music helped people and saved 2 from suicide but in real life i was broken and was a self harmer. him on the other hand was broken and sad and did idiotic things and lived life to the fullest. we were oppisites but we had attracted to each other and helped each other he was cocain and i was addicted . it sucked cause everyday i thought about him and everyday it got harder to focus the more we spoke the more we fell inlove it was like a fairy tail. everything was falling into place i was getting happier i didnt feel so alone i opened up to him like ive never done before it was perfect to me i loved it that some one understood how i felt. it was so great knowing i didnt have to hide behind a fake me anymore. i didnt have to do normal elegent brown make up i didnt have to be boring old me. i could be how i felt on the inside i could wear what i felt nd act on how i felt i felt free didnt need to hide behind societys norm i could roman off and online i acctualy felt happy true happines in bieng normal i didnt have to care about bieng bullied about my sexuality my music their words were just pebbles in a giant pond they were nothing . as day grew on everything was great i was finaly happy and excited bout everything i woke with a smile and slept with a smile . i smiled and it wasnt fake it was realand weird and something totaly new to me and i didnt know how to feel it felt great nd exciting it into middle school knowing i didnt have to be sad no more i was a happy and thrilled 7th grader i knew i was younge but i knew it didnt matter i was happy for once .

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breaking juliet

it was nearing christmas me and him we doing fine having ups and downs like any other couple we had a good christmas eve then came christmas and everything went down hill. i got a message from shybria aka teddygrahm_1 asking me if me and him are still together and i said yes and she tells me they got back together yesterday. i was pissed its fucking christmas and he cheated on me again im pissed cause im 13 and dont need more pain then i already had enough going in my life and family i didnt need my boyfriend adding to it when he usualy helps me so i messaged him and i went of more then i thought i would have .
me- your a fucking piece of shit ur still cheating on me and wtf is ur problem u keep fucking saying u love me and shit  and ur messaging her and shit are u fucking kidding me i try to be there for u and be the best fucking gf i can be and u go and cheat on me AGAIN im fucking done ur a ass hole its christmas and ALL I GET FROM U HIS HEART BREAK UGH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ohgr- what are u talking bout
me- u know ..shybria told me everything
ohgr-im so sorry babe i love u ok i just love u both ok im so sorry i do love u please forgive me ill be better ok i promise
me- ....
ohgr- please
me - fine :,(
ohgr- please dont be sad
me- fuck urself ok ill ttyl bye
(aztec leaves convo )
i went on with my day  and forgot about him till the next morning after getting a message from her saying you can have him im here if you need me . i kinda just sat up in my bed nd thanked god that gramas wifi was good so youtube worked fast i sat there all day dispite bieng yelled at by my family bout bieng in pajams all day nd not leaving the forsake room.that was now storing bad memories bad enough i was depressed but now i was 20x worse then before. i kinda sat there looking at his stupid picture like he would pop out the screen and touch my cheek and telling me everything would be ok that music would make the pain would go away soon  but it never happend i slamed my ipod down in tears wishing everything would go away. and that the human race would subside so that only good people exsisted but it never happend i got up and wiped my face and headed to the backyard praying the wifi reached that far and gladly it did. i was sure with out music ide go off and end up punch some one or worse let them see how broken i was and that i was getting worse. i was just glad my family didnt know how depressed i was cause theyde probaly send me away to place that my cousin sonia goes to. i sat there in the sun hot as hell letting my grandmas dog come to me and sniff me and lick my face YUCK. but i didnt care i just wanted to sit there kept looking at the green grass like it was gona kill me but only made me ichy i kinda sat there singing softly to myself a song i always sang like everything was gona be ok but i knew it wasnt going to be ok. i sat there like i was alone but i saw my grandma behind me i guess she knew i was sad cause all she said was who ever he is hes an idiot and left i laughed softly my grandma knew bout him just didnt know everything. i kinda sat there biting my lip trying not to cry my eyes burned i could feel them dripping down my face and i kinda sat there crying i took deep breaths hoping the pain would leave already. i could feel myself eternaily scream i just wanted my brothers to hug me and say it would be ok but it would be days till the band could tell me it  was ok i kinda sat there wishing it was back intime when dawn gave me my first kiss telling me any guy would be lucky to have me i didnt feel lucky or beautifull. i felt ugly like maybe he was only with me cause he felt bad maybe he was like the rest of the world nd thought i was stupid to think love was real. but i stopped thinkink and blasted my music till it was so loud ide probaly go deaf from it but i didtnt care.  i finaly went inside and showerd and cried in there knowing they couldnt hear my crying screams.  cause they were laughing and cooking nd bieng happy and the shower noise muffled me even more this old house used to be my escape. but instead i just wanted to run from it. wished i had never came maybe the lies were better then the truth that i got .i cried hard and wished everything would be ok but it wasnt i couldnt trust my own boyfriend any more . wich sucked now i didnt know what to do im 13 i should be fucking playing in  a play ground or some shit but instead i was in a hot shower thinking of how  i can make the pain go away when i remberd in my room there was old as hell booze from when my great great grandmother was still alive so i went into my room after i was dressed and drank it well most of it.  i didnt want them knowing what i was doing so after a while i stopped and i knew every one was sleeping and that my grandma locks everything at night so i kinda laid in bed sorta tipsy. wished i could just go walking but it was already late and i thought maybe i should message him but i didnt plus he wasnt online so i kinda just stayed there and read my  blogs i had written on there most of em were songs one me nd him written one me him and her had wrote i didnt even wana say her name any more but if i ever did my voice had venom whene ever i spat that name out. but i couldnt just blame her it takes two  i went to youtube yet again thanking who ever owend youtube cause youtube was like god to me  when it came to bieng depressed. i wish i could call him his voice would always put me to sleep he was like a lulaby even though i was mad him his voice was like silk and now relized why they also called him sand man.  why did he have to be perfect to me i hated it but loved it at the same time . i stayed up most of the night listening to music chatting online and making a status saying i hate feeling pain nd i got a few messages from guys asking if i was ok and i lied and said i was fine but i guess one of em could tell i was lieing cause he kept messaging me and to be honest i thought it was cute and sweet. so i kept replying ended up breaking down and told him everything he got angry and said he hated men who did that they didnt have respect for girls as sweet as me. i kinda just smiled and blushed me and him soon became friends i ened  up falling asleep on him nd when i woke up and relized at noon. i sent him a message saying sorry but i went to my friends to see if he was on before i could check his pro. he messaged me saying  sorry that he loves me and always will that i was his wife i blushed like a lil school girl cause hes never called me his wife before . nevric may be an ass hole but i loved him and i still couldnt believe he called me his wife .we were doing good but still didnt feel right i felt weird bout everything i was happy but i was sad like i loved him but he kept doing these things to me  hurting me and kept doing this. i may say i loved him but he would sometimes say hurtfull things to me and i started to rethink my love for him wich scared me. i was finaly home again when i knew i wouldnt get caught and get in trouble i went to go see my brothers even though they werent related to me they were the closes thing i had to a acctual family i knew i had real family but i knew they would only hurt and make things worse. i told them what was going on my brother dusk said to tal to him his twin dawn said i should kick his ass  horizon the oldest os us all said to walk away to thik things threw .i left after horizons girlfriend came nd i went home and waited for my dad to pick me up nd i sat in the back thinking. i knew what i was gona do tomorrow is new years and i was gona leave him. i was sad but i had to i thought i had to  at least  we finaly got to my dads the drive felt like forever even though its was ten minutes i went inside grabbed mycell and sat down and grabbed some food and sat at the land nd ate logging in ndseeing messages from treating him like a friend and messaging for a while then i gave up and stopped and ate somemore nd i looked threw my cells contacts and called the one person who could help ... dawn the dork may be rough on the outside but he was agiant teddy bear on the inside .
i asked him to come over of coursed he said yes nd not even 10 minutes later he was shimming into the window of my room at my dads.  we went into the closet where he sat on an old back seat wich weirdly my dad kept there he sat there looking at me i guess he could tell i was thinking nd pulled me to sit with him and looked at me .
dawn- its gona be ok ya know you dont have to leave tell him how hes making u feel
me- thats the thing he just keeps doing this stuff and to be honest im starting to think theres other girls not just her but maybe more im not there to see or there to  find out .
dawn - your right your not there but i can tell this eating you alive and i hate seeing you like this im happy your leaving he dosnt deserve my baby sister i know we arnt related but i dont like seeing my family hurt after my parents died you there for me and dusk  and i want to be there for u every step of your life not only cause your like family but cause your hot he smirked while he said it
me - your  a dumb ass you know that
sints my dad never really cared bout me he never came to see if i was even still alive in my room .so dawn stayed the night he hid is motocycle not far from where my dads place was sints im pretty much fat dad didnt notice the food i was bringing into my room for dawn . me and him stayed up all night talking i love talking to him hes so great he played with my fingers and laughed at how short my fingers are i was happy to just sit there nd be with him its so great his colored hair is always diffrent every two weeks his stupid piercings so useless but i love playing wit em .i tugged on his lip ring when he grabbed me and pulled me closer i blushed dawn dosnt usualy  show emotion like that next thing i know  hes pinnning me like the ass he is . we kinda just stare at each other like dawn isnt exsactly date material in my eyes well ive never really thought bout it sure he was my first kiss but i dont i guess dawn sister zoned me. but we kinda just looked at each other when he leaned forward nd i could feel the tip of his cool metal lip ring on my lower lip i bit my lip. so i didnt feel it i felt something cold touch my neck i didnt realize dawns pierced lips were going for my neck i blushed nd shiverd i didnt relize how hot my skin was getting that his rings were so cold  on me. he sat up nd looked down at me he was taking all his piercings off i didnt know why like its new years night . he always kept them in i felt lips touch my cheek yanking me out of my thoughts i looked at him he was smirking like he was getting something hed always wanted i dont know what made me do this but i ran my fingers threw his weird colored hair and kissed his cheek he left a trail of kisses down my cheek down my neck and to my shoulder .i couldnt help but blush and bite my lip he kissed back up nd kissed my ear nd whisperd " close your eyes beautifull " and so i did i could feel his kisses  the tip of his tongue lip the side of my neck softly and all off a sudden i felt his lips on mine i practily melted and kissed back nd squeezed him closer after we pulled away i looked at him and i  relized dawn looked hot with out his rings in he smiled at me and said happy new years you lil virgin . i laughed and relized it was 12:01  and that i had just cheated on the love of my life nd i felt the guilt hit me all at once and bursted into tears i guess it scared dawn cause looked at me in shock he got off from ontop of me nd sat next to me and cooed into my ear saying that everything was ok and what was wrong with his princess i looked at him and shoved him .
me - you your whats wrong you did what ever the hell this was
him- what i didnt think u didnt like it i mean like u didnt stop it so i kept going like what did it bother u like when i tugged on ur ear did it hurt cause if it did and thats whats wrong then im sorrry
me- you tugged on my ear i asked in shock
him - umm yea you a soft noise
me-oh my fucking god your kidding right
him no now whats wrong
me - i pretty much just cheated on nevric
him - hes cheated on you so even fuck him your dumping him any ways plus how do you know he isnt getting the same treatment from a girl near him huh how do you know that your "boyfriend" isnt out with some other girl getting waisted like he usualy does HUH MIDNIGHT WHAT THE FUCK IF HE HIS WHAT  THE FUCK DOES IT MATTER YOU SHOULDNT BE TREATED LIKE HOW THAT FAGGIT TREATS YOU YOUR A PRINCESS ALL WOMEN ARE PRINCESS AND YOU DESERVED TO BE TREATED AS SUCH FUCK WHAT HE THINKS FUCK HIM FUCK EVERYTHING BOUT HIM HE ISNT ANYTHING BUT TRASH he yellled at me
i sat there in shock like what the fuck just happend hes never acted like that towards me and of course i ooked at him hurt i was so hurt like how could he say that to me .why would he say that to me what the fuck was his godanm problem where does he come off telling me this shit and acting like this shit like what the living fuck .
dawn -*leans in and touches me * midnight im sorry i didnt mean to be like that im sorry
me- your a jerk and im mad and you should leave NOW
dawn-no im not leaving im sit here and speak to you ok please
me -fine
we layed there and spoke for what seemed like forever.
 
 
(chapter 3 got deleted here it is )
 
leaving Romeo
 
I guess i ended up falling asleep cause i woke up and dawn was gone he usualy is i grabbed my cell and relized it was 11 and i knew he was awake so i messaged him seeing he was logged in i freaked a little i was bieng a coward and messaging him instead of calling him but me and him spoke for a bit and i decided to rip the bandaid off and said things werent working out that i thought we should break up like we were months into this relationship and hes already hurt me alot then all of a sudden he calls i freak and answerlike a dumbass
me- hello
nevric *crying quitly * why
me- *sighs * oh my god nevsy im sorry ok i am i love u alot but this just hurts so much im sorry im so sorry
nevric -*crying* i love you *describes a sad song that makes him feel this way for me * (to be honest i cant remeber the song)
me- im sorry ok i love u bye *hangs up *
i leaned against the wall crying my eyes out he kept trying to talk to me i ignored him i just sat there crying realizing i broke my own heart that theres no one to blame but my self this time . i sat there for what seems like a lifttime and finaly decide to get up i dont plan on tellling him wat i did let that bastard find it out by now im full of anger how dare he act like he loves and all this shit he wouldnt of hurt me if he acctualy of cared i grab some cash and walk to the publix around the corner and buy cookies ,chips and choclate milk i walk back home not caring if i get fatter with all this junk food i looked down at my cell nd i write a status "if u had loved me maybe ide still be urs " i dont care if its immature i dont care if he sees but i looked at his status and it read " i love u but it seems maybe ur right i should of cared more" i growl slightly and think to myself this kid is really gona end up torturing me and make me regret it but i dont i feel free no more pain well just what was already there i go to my door and walk in i rarley ever lock it no one even comes down this street as im walking in i see dawn runnning threw the back to get away from max the neighbores dog . i burst out laughing at the panic on his face i didnt realize that maxs girlfried the other giant dog they owned had almost nipped his ass i looked at him tears soaking my cheeks from how hard im laughing he looks at me like hes never seen me laugh before i finally stop and drop the backs in m room and he looks at me .
dawn- so that diet hows that going
me- *gives him the finger *
dawn-love ya to babes
me- babes ?? eww no just left nevric dont need another boy friend till the beginning of NEVER
dawn- oh come on you know you want all this
me- *rolls my eyes * as if perv
dawn- did you tell him or no
me- nope let his punk ass figure it out like i had to
dawn-i told you not to date a punk what did you learn
me- that they are hot as fuck
dawn- *rolls eyes as jaw clecnches* yea what ever
we went into my room with my fatty foods and goofed off playing my ps2 like we never kissed i looked at my cell alot hoping he would all or i.m me sints his text never came threw i missed having him but i knew he was no good for me . sit here with dawn and wonder if he will get mad at me if i rip out his lip ring .
dawn- yes
me- what
dawn - i see u staring at it and ill get pissed if you do what i think your thinking you she beast
me- plays innocent but iwasnt thinking anything sweetheart
dawn - bull shit roman i know you
me -laughing ugh fine donkey butt
dawn-ive missed you you know you dont really come by any more
me-ive missed ya to and you know i cant my mom would kill yall and me and you know i already fear her *holds his hand* plus ide go insane if i lost you or any of as a matter of fact
we kinda just layed there he played with my fingers nd we kinda just smiled till i heard the front door opened i rushed him into the closet and went out there and hugged my father even tho he was sweaty and gross from working all day in the sun i know its kinda cliche but my dad is mexican and works in land scaping who cares my moms puerto rican and works at a pawn my oldest sister mari works in a insurance company and as for my middle sister she works at mcdonalds i. i spoke to my dad bout his day and what ever he asked what i wanted for dinner and i got a texted from dawn wanting pizza so i told him i wanted pizza and so we drove we got it i got a personal one so me and dawn could share my dad went into the shower and i grabbed two hot beers and two cold ones i took the cold ones into my room and put the hot ones in the fridge my dad neer checkedhis beer he just drank em not caring i grabbed me a spanish soda and went back into my room where the fag was waiting for i sat next to him as he drank a beer .
dawn - if i didnt know better ide say you were trying to get me drunk to take advantage of me
me- yes i am ;)
dawn- laughs your a idiot ya know that
he said it with a smirk and i just wanted to slap it off him so hard but i was to lazy so instead i grabbed his hand and bit him hard as i could of course he let me and laughed cleaning the bite mark off like nothing and looked at it
dawn - i might get this tattooed so i always have your cooties with me beautifull
me-*rolls eyes * dumbass
dawn - just for you babes
me -ugh annoying you are
dawn - annoying she yes she is the one with the comics obsession and is as tall as yoda she is
me- you screwed it up and your just mad cause i look good in green
dawn -yes so jealouse
we watched tv nd saw some movies had i went to see if nevric had messaged me he had not nd i wished he had then ide know he really loved me but i don't care at the moment all i care bout is how much im having fun with dawn hes such a great person and im honestly  shocked at how he was single some one as great ass him deserved to be taken i mean hes so handsome i honestly dont know why im even looking at him like this is some one ive known for years i grew up with him like what the living fuck .....
dawn- its rude to stare princess
me - what
dawn - you have bin staring at me for like a hour
me - sorry *looks away*
dawn-looks at me please *
i dont i stare at the tv like a idiot like hes my brother well not really my brother hes just bin there sints the beginning same with the rest of em dusk,horizon ,and amy but we call her eclipso but I'm not used to it yet.
dawn *grabs me by the chin nd makes me face him *
me- 0.0
dawn - laughes and kisses my jaw line *
me- oh my god
dawn- what
me-your bieng weird stop
dawn-fiiine
we watched my favorite movie and of course i sang along to the bloody musical sweeneytodd of course is the best thing ever made next corpse bride and nightmare before christmas .
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where arth thou romeo

 
Nevric hasnt spoken to me   sints i left him and i wish evryday he would call me or i.m me but nothing its bin abou a week and it sucks more than anything i spend more time with the band now sints im always at my fathers praying nevric has tried to make contact he hasnt even bin online sint then and im worried if hes ok .I hope he hasnt done anything stupid well stupider than his usual doings ughhh why is it so hard for me to be away from him i hate that i love him i was already confused on so many things already i didnt need this added to it .dawn of course comes over today and he sis and talks to me and i finaly confess something to him i havent told or even sspoken to any one about .
me.- dawn i need help
dawn- with what
me-god
dawn-god ?
me- yes god i dont believe in him i dont believe in the bible i dont understand it like why is his a sin and why is hat no a sin why is this ok o judge but that is not i dont understand like why i just dont get it .
dawn- your re thinking and over thinking it and i get it i guess i became an athiest cause of things like that i dont undertand it ether but in all honstey i dont give a fuck about it i have my morals yea i can say i agree with some aspects but as long as i have love in  my life nothing els matters
me- im going to church across from the main building you know the stupid class im thinking of going what  do you think
dawn- ewww classes for church gross but sure if you think it will help go for it but that means less dawny time for ya baby cakes
me- first ewwww and two moms making me go anyway ass whipe i wish i did have a choice though ugghhh
all of a sudden i ask dawn to leave i become so sad and i cant tell why after  he leaves i do something so stupid i grab a piece of broken glass and stare it  i cry so hard i finaly let the pain out i play my radio louder then usual i hear dad yelling to turn it off but i dont cry even more about how dad was never there he left when i was so little i thought he didnt love me any more i was so small my sister was barley finihing 5th grad when he left i was still toddler i thought daddy was leaving to take the trash out with my big sister soon i started relize he nevr came back i always wonderd why daddy never came back did i do something bad i wana scream at him but i dont instead i let the glass cut into my thighs i let them bleed i cry hearder i guss dawn never left cause when i look at the window hes aring at me i can tell hes freaking out hes trying to open it again before he can i lock it and continue to cry im pressing the glass to my thigh againa and i feel the hot spread down my leg  i see the red i cry more bout my moms beatings and yelling at me telling me im a pig saying ill never be able to make it i cry harder relizing my mom and dad never loved me why am i so broken why dont they love me i did everything to be just like them i try to listen to there music there movies there ways of life i cry about how im sorry that im so dark i cry about  how im stupid liike my mothers says i cry about how dad dosnt care i start to wonder if they would even care i look at nevrics picture i feel my heart breaking even more did i say something or do something for him to cheat what did i do to deserve all thispain i start to clean my blood and i grab new clothes i turn my music and the yelling stops dawn dosnt stop calling i let it ring and i run into the bathroom and shower it burns the cuts but i get over it i stand there looking down at myself rembering the words my mom always said i cant do anything right but feed my fat face and shes right thats all i can do and i wish nevric was here maybe thing's would be diffrent maybe his love would be enouugh but then more bad thoughts start hitting me wht if he thinks im to fat what if he dosnt love me like he does online wha if im not as pretty as  my pictures what if i never am enough for him .....what if ....I  go back to my room  all the evidece of my melt down gone and i lay in bed and i finaly grab my cell all the messages and caalls from him ugggghh why didnt he just leave i fling my cell onto the other bed in the room and it of course hits the danm wall i see my poor keybored cell fall into piecess greeeeaaattt . i picked up the pieces but the back and the battery back on and turned it on hoping it still worked it did but now my down button dosnt work ugh yay i called him back he of course bieng dawn was frantic and pissed he yelled at me nd was telling me how i was stupid so i hung up on him. he continued to blow up my cell so i turned on a movie and closed my eyes i woke up to a inked ass hole shimmering his way into my room of course i forgot to lock the slidiong doork not even 10 feet from my room door in the living room .i sit up in bed and relize its two idiots coming into my room  .what do you want dawn and dusk
dawn- WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN WHAT DO WE WANT WHAT DO YOU THINK
me- stop yelling you will wake  sperm donor next door moron
dusk- shes right
dawn- ugh fine
dusk- so what the hell ws that huh why didnt you tell us you cut your self
dawn- WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN WHAT DO WE WANT WHAT DO YOU THINK
dusk- so what the hell ws that huh why didnt you tell us you cut your self
me- not something you go out and say ya know by the way yall both smell like axe god you know one spray is enough
dawn- what the fuck is axe
dusk- i think she means lynxs
me-what ever you both smell ok
dawn-thank ya now what the fuck is up with it huh why
me- i dont know to be honest i did it and it helped i know it dosnt make sence but it helped ok
dawn-*takes his jacket and shirt off *
me- what the living fuck are you doing no need to get naked in my room dude
dusk- shut up ok cause soon ill have to take my pants off ok
me- what the fuuuuuucccccckkkk
dawn - sits next to me - we used to cut so we kinda get where your coming from e want to show you our scars we used to cut alot deeper then you alot deeper so yea ...
dusk- so am i taking my pants of we good or whats going on
me- keep em on big boy
dusk - he is big ;)
me- uggghh ewww could we not
dawn -  welll im staying shirtless
me-why
dawn - so you can see the scars
me- where are they
dusk- under his tattoos
me- thats why you started getting em
dawn - yea thats one resin
me - ok
we all sat there it was wierd and akward dusk got bored and left  he usualy does when he did dawn scooted closer to me and wraped himself around me holding me close i of course held him close i dont know why but i felt nice and safe and i love it i just wish i knew he was bieng so close to me all of a sudden we have bin close but never this close not like this its weird .
dawn- your thinking again
me- huh howd you ...
dawn- you stare into space and i can almost see the steam coming from your ears
me- haha i was just thinking why do youn get so close to me when people leave
dawn - what you mean like this us kissing and stuff
me- yea why
dawn- i wasnt sure if you would want people to know about us
us ?
me- us???
dawn- i thought we were i dont know like you know *he sits up * i wrong i guess im sorry i didnt mean to i just ..
me- dawn noi wasnt trying to be i was just ssuprised you thought that i was just  i dont know with everything going your the last ide wana date ide be scared to loose our friendship
dawn- its what ever ima go ok * gets up and grabs his shirt*
me- dawn come on dont go
dawn- no im an idiot im here all over you and i bet your thinking of him arnt you
me- dawn i love him so sorry if i am ok what the fuck do you want me to huh WHAT
dawn - THINK ABOUT ME DANM IT HOW LONG HAVE WE KNOWN EACCH OTHER MORON I LOVE YOU OK   let me just help you get over him please
me- im tierd ok
dawn- go to bed ok i might sleep ether in the closet or the spare bed ok
me- what ever
dawn=really
me- what
dawn- nothing
i laid in bed kinda mad .how did he expect me to just get over it like its hard me and him had bin talking for  a year i was 12 when i met had barley turned 12 im 13 gona be 14 soon  like yea im young but in knew who i loved who i loved sorry it was him sorry he lives far away what the was i supposed to think or do i love him i still do sorry for trying to be some what normal if he says we have known each other so long why is he acting like this  hes 15 like he knows what he wants hell he gets tattoos and piercings as for me all i can do is hope to get over him and out of florida i wish i was 18 already dawn dosnt have to worry about anything  he hasnt bin the same sints his parents died his mom died of cancer and his father commited suicide a year later they were 11 ive bin there for em sints. i have been grown sints my dad left i didnt have a choice but to grow up early i felt bad . so i went  to where he was and shoved him off the bed
dawn- what the hell roman
me- come lay down with me pweez
dawn- so you shoved me out of bed to lay in bed with you
me- yep
dawn - ok sounds like you so i cant sleep naked or what
me - no you cant weirdo
dawn- fine then no shirt
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forgetting romeo

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betraying juliet

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saving juliet

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