this a poetry book nothing more

i dont understand everything is crumbling to a pile of dissapointment  hate and pain why cant it be all over ide rather greet death then deal with the pain everyday the whispers the cruel words why cant they just go away i dont have a resin to be hre i was made at the wrong time and the wrong place even if i died no one would relize im not one to be dwelled on or even thought about i hate that ide be making the very few who care very sad i love them all i spent 6 years of my life trying to help other and all iget in return is pain and hate i try to save as many lives when i cant save my own why dont i just give up my fight and let i think of nothing but escape from this great evil called life are u alright i lie yes i am alright there is no hope my faith is gone such as my innocents my favorite work of art is the skill i have of a fake smile . my big brown eyes ae filled with sorrow and tears im tierd i wana close my eyes but first i must bandage the skin the 'cat scratched' and hide myself under jackets and long sleeved shirts and loong jean pants i wish ide just take a final breath no one would care thinking of my disguise for the next day as i continue my eternal screams and cries im such a waste of a girl im nothing from inside out ill never be beautifull ill admit it ill never be lik her why cant i close my eyes and be better