Blue sight Unseen

 

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Chapter 1

 Lost control: 


     The blue fountain hotel is just there on the right” Jase told the cab driver. You can drop me off at the front door here” she says hoping out quickly running inside. 

   Stepping into the lobby it was a lot of people to be seen and heard. It was an convention that  Jase didn’t volunteer for she was foced to go to stop her memory from knowing. 

Her sister volunteered her as she was sitting next to her shaking breaking down. Jase had an episode of losing it with another situation of high priced wine with a hotel key and naked alone! She called her sister Jordan crying. 


  Yet! She is here in this beautiful hotel that seems hundreds of years old with a voice to it. 

Jase Nicole Madison is a well know writer/blogger in the Carolina area. 

She is southern and needed a get away fast! So Jordan found her this convention of writers/bloggers far from Carolina. 

It has to help! The bipolar does not need to flare up ok! Jase has double taken her meds to be sure.

In her unsureness Jase never goes to the coffee house on third street east! It’s temptation there and he is named Collin! Her thoughts about him are too clear! Yet! She loves the cappuccino there! See the blue fountain hotel is right across the street from Natalie’s coffee shop. 

  This isn’t her first time to this historic city and the blue fountain hotel. But a first for a convention with writers and bloggers. 

   She needs no distractions to stop her from her focus on her writing so she wants to avoid the place. 

   Yet! The food smells great and it’s an so awesome vegetarian/vegan menu and then there’s Collin! A chef that comes in to get his daily coffee! And he is beautiful, dark and handsome! With a six feet tall statue! Jase don’t need to see him! And those long arms! Big hands! Long fingers and slim but muscular statue. 

He walks with swag! Hair is coiled and in a Mohawk style! He chocolate and his voice is smooth yet sexy take wit swagg! 

When he first talked to her his smile took her! Crooked yet straight and beautiful bow lips! He was perfect and his insides matched his out! Humble, smart, funny and his attention sat right on Jase. 

Each time they were together in Natalie’s. She wasn’t going to fall for Collin! This was a no no! To her bipolar or was it a good thing for it? 

Jase feels Collin and her brain dances in him constantly. It’s a good thing they are separated towns apart. 

Yet! This whole week she is in his town which is a tester for her and her hormones. Jase wonders can she be held on this long without letting him conquer her into kissing him!


  The willingness of her mind dreams him as she lays on the plush white hotel bed in her red housecoat.  Which looks like a classic 1940 dress!

Jase has been lonely trying to keep the sex addiction down even in getting attention from men. She could date but she wants to stay in control. 

His card is on the nightstand next to her and she wants to call! Collin told her to call but it’s 10:30! And late times get her! Then she sees his smile and chocolate skin with those big hands and long fingers, 

The conservations they had at Natalie’s! And his infections laughter He carries his humbleness well in his six foot frame. Collin is awesome to Jase! 

She picks up the phone to call!


She is nervous as the phone rings three times and she is about to hang up. He told her to call ok! But! See Jase did that once and called a guy who told her to call him! He was rude when he did answer! 

So before he answers as the phone has rung past several times! The phone call will end before it starts. 

Heartbroken does not go good on her! She falls way in the well and can’t come out fast! Tears flow too much! 

Yet! She wants to hear his calming sexy voice and see his six foot frame and just be hugged on his slim muscular frame in those long arms of his! 

  Collin hugs her tight every time he sees her! Hugs lasting minutes and he rubs her so lovingly. 

Her knees buckle when he does this! She wonders does he like her? She hopes so! 

 The last time he was in her presence he took her small hands in his huge big hands of elegant long frames and just looked at her so in awe! She was done really! Those perfect puckered lips and slender long face whispered “ you ok”! She said yes!

He then hugged her more and rocked her in a sway! 

 It’s not late she can call yet Jase is nervous! She climbs in bed and just forgets about it until tomorrow. 

Watching tv until she goes to sleep. 


After two hours of sleep Jase is up! Clicking the tv remote once again! Cell phone is face down and on silent! She needs to be sleep! 

She is meeting with some bloggers from Alabama and having a discussion on different topics at 8 am! In one of the conference rooms here at the blue fountain. 

It’s great to see other bloggers come  out and be in literary conservations from many states! Yet! Sleep wants her to be deprived! 

Well! She can’t ok! Jase wants to be awesome for the hour and a half she is among writers like her! She can’t be awesome sleepy! She does not move from the bed! She will be sleep soon she thinks! 

 This little town outside of Boston, Massachusetts is so inviting to her and she feels welcome.

 She thinks of the cafe across from the hotel and wonders of Collin! 

She wants him in many ways and feels his body on hers without him there! And that’s scary for her!  

If she goes there with him! She might kick her sex addiction back into gear. 

Even through she wants only him! The addiction can take her to where she can’t go! 

Collin has been in her dreams and she just wonders if he can handle her and the bipolar she carries. 


  Coffee is smelling to Jase nose getting her happy. Coffee is the it for her to get the senses tolling. 

Jase walks down the hallway to the fully antique modern lobby and as she approaches she sees many people. 

Some of whom she has has great pow wow discussions with. This writers conference has opened Jase up. 

It required her to see confidence in her ability in writing.

 Anxiety slips up as Jase is trying to pull her being into the breakfast crowd. 

The blue fountain has great breakfasts. People not even staying in the hotel come in. 

Jase gets her plate and moves to a table alone. She has to breathe and think! As she eats she can smell Collin cologne and she smiles. 

He told her to call yet she is scared! She will call! It’s just scary to think how she would mess it up if he is the one. 

So she is going slow! Gotta be cautious as she tells herself. The last time she lost all control Jase was naked in a hotel room with a bottle of empty wine! And the hangover! 

She just knew the guy an hour from the bar! It was crazy and she could have been dead. 

Jase had not taken her meds right and the sex addiction ran into the wall! Got in her and let the bipolar rule it! 

As she is was in the room alone she could see a condom wrapper on the floor! She was hurt! And she managed to get up. 

Jase got to the bathroom and saw the condom floating in the stool! She yelled “why this!” 

 Lawerence the Guy! Left as she slept and no goodbyes! That hurt really! She is beautiful and got substance. 

 She is thinking as she steps out the bathroom tears rolling down her face and Jase is numb! At that moment she sees two hundred dollars she didn’t ask for! 

He saw her as a prostitute! She was so hurt! And since she has to be careful! 

Yet! This tall chocolate man of slim muscular frame is on her mind and it’s scary in a good way. 


 Jase eats up her eggs and plantains! Swallowing the orange juice. She then quickly throws her plate away. 

Goes into her huge silver purse and gets out some red bliss gloss for her full beautiful lips. Checks her face in her mirror. 

 Proceeds to put on her favorite purfume a dab and go to the conference room to hear on social media branding for your blog! 

She is excited to hear on this! And to her surprise she gets a text from Collin as she is going in! 

She can’t call him back now! But she responds back with “ glad to hear from you” and he responds back with “ I waited to hear from you! Glad I am now.” 

She is all smiles now! She will see him and look into his beautiful brown eyes and see that wide smile full of teeth.  Jase has to listen to the speaker now. 


 The presentation finally lets out at ten minutes past one.  Jase is trying to mingle around the room to the other bloggers and writers. 

There are some great literary people here and she feels in her zone! Plus she is exhausted and extremely hungry.  

 Yet! To be in this room full of writers is magic and she has to talk to a few for this will inspire her more. 

As she is getting done speaking with a peer writer named Ashland Jase glances at her phone to see the time. 

It’s past two by now and it’s time for her to get to the room to be in rest mode for the reminder of the day. 

Jase just wants to get in the comfy bed of all white sheets and sleep. 

As she gathers her stuff and goes to the room a text comes from Collin! Asking her  “ how did the presentation go.” Just checking on you! Call me later.

Jase loves this and is scared at the same time cause what if he is putting on an act and not real! 

She can’t be hurt again! But something is telling her trust this process he is so real! 


  6:30 pm: in her hotel room! 


Jase is lying in the comfy white bed doing nothing and just ordered a vegan meal from a great restaurant. 

She glances at her text messages on her phone looking at the message from Collin! She could call him yet it’s her that is scared! 

Not him! He is showing her he is interested in a great way. It’s on her the helm of Jase now! 

 The text was at past two pm noon and it’s past 6 pm at night! She has to let him show who he is to her! 

If he is true God will let her feel it! If he is not the red flags will show! And hopefully the bipolar will stay back ok!

 When the red flags came the last time a guy showed interest Jase didn’t take her meds for two weeks and spinned into a rage of someone else. 

It’s just fear and she has to trust and not see all men as the others who hurt her. 

 Eyes slowing closing to sleep mode cause she is extremely tired. 

 Jase text Collin saying “ hey handsome you wanna do lunch tomorrow”? I wanna see you!” 

  Collin responds back “ yes! I been wanting to see you and I am not like other guys.” 

Made her heart feel good! Jase then said “ok! I am trying to trust that” you gotta be slow with me” he said “ I will and I will show you!”

“Get you some rest you been busy” I will see you tomorrow miss lady” Collin told her.

“OK! Jase text back smile outside and inside. 

She continued to watch tv until she feel asleep. 


11 pm: 

 

     Her head hit the pillow and fell right asleep after she got the last text from  Collin. 

      Yet! She is up now and it’s not an up as in it’s bad! Like a nightmare! It’s because she is in a sexual need. 

       Jase feels the bipolar glaring up in flares and what do she do? It’s bad! 

        After having a five hour sleep she awakes to being manic and out of control! 

         The addiction to sex comes creeping on seducing Jase! Yet it’s after 11 pm and she gotta stays in! 

For her mental well being! Being still is a must. Or else she will be in an unknown place with a stranger. 

Jase has been in a no sex zone for a year, she usually can resist a good looking man and be proud. 

 But see!!! Collin keeps moving in closer and she likes it but is scared cause sex to her is great! 

Jase knows that the heat between them will explode once they touch! Cause he wants to kiss her! And he did kiss her! 


      Thinking back! 1 am in bed awake! 

  

At the opening of the beginning night of the writers conference Jase felt nervous and not connecting to the other people. 

She kept her composure and tried to mingle with people! But! She felt awakard! Yet she eyed a table in the corner so she went over to it! Sat down! 

There she was in the corner at the table! Sitting alone! Watching everyone else do what she wanted to do! But could not! 

Just as she started to leave her phone rang! “ hey you ok”? Jase was silent as she heard Collin voice! “Yes! She said.

She was beaming cause he called! “ I been trying to reach you!” Had to hear your voice beautiful.’”

 “Where are you Collin asked her?” I am at the opening dinner writers conference” at a table alone!”

     “I am nervous Jase told him!” “Look you awesome don’t be nervous!” Collin told her! 

A smile crossed her face and she felt something as he spoke with care and interest in her.

“Just sit there and sit pretty! I will be there with my long arms and big long hands to hug you tight! Make it better. 

He came and saw Jace “looked and smiled at her with his eyes seeing her in loving ways! He just stared and opened his arms to her! 

“Hey you come here” Collin said to her! Jase ran to him and he caught her!

 He hugged her tight picking her up. Swinging her around and he got the kiss he wanted finally! 

Long sweet loving kiss that she allowed cause she was ready and had been dreaming of this! As he had! They both were happy! 

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