The blue fountain hotel is just there on the right” Jase told the cab driver. You can drop me off at the front door here” she says hoping out quickly running inside.
Stepping into the lobby it was a lot of people to be seen and heard. It was an convention that Jase didn’t volunteer for she was foced to go to stop her memory from knowing.
Her sister volunteered her as she was sitting next to her shaking breaking down. Jase had an episode of losing it with another situation of high priced wine with a hotel key and naked alone! She called her sister Jordan crying.
Yet! She is here in this beautiful hotel that seems hundreds of years old with a voice to it.
Jase Nicole Madison is a well know writer/blogger in the Carolina area.
She is southern and needed a get away fast! So Jordan found her this convention of writers/bloggers far from Carolina.
It has to help! The bipolar does not need to flare up ok! Jase has double taken her meds to be sure.
In her unsureness Jase never goes to the coffee house on third street east! It’s temptation there and he is named Collin! Her thoughts about him are too clear! Yet! She loves the cappuccino there! See the blue fountain hotel is right across the street from Natalie’s coffee shop.
This isn’t her first time to this historic city and the blue fountain hotel. But a first for a convention with writers and bloggers.
She needs no distractions to stop her from her focus on her writing so she wants to avoid the place.
Yet! The food smells great and it’s an so awesome vegetarian/vegan menu and then there’s Collin! A chef that comes in to get his daily coffee! And he is beautiful, dark and handsome! With a six feet tall statue! Jase don’t need to see him! And those long arms! Big hands! Long fingers and slim but muscular statue.
He walks with swag! Hair is coiled and in a Mohawk style! He chocolate and his voice is smooth yet sexy take wit swagg!
When he first talked to her his smile took her! Crooked yet straight and beautiful bow lips! He was perfect and his insides matched his out! Humble, smart, funny and his attention sat right on Jase.
Each time they were together in Natalie’s. She wasn’t going to fall for Collin! This was a no no! To her bipolar or was it a good thing for it?
Jase feels Collin and her brain dances in him constantly. It’s a good thing they are separated towns apart.
Yet! This whole week she is in his town which is a tester for her and her hormones. Jase wonders can she be held on this long without letting him conquer her into kissing him!
The willingness of her mind dreams him as she lays on the plush white hotel bed in her red housecoat. Which looks like a classic 1940 dress!
Jase has been lonely trying to keep the sex addiction down even in getting attention from men. She could date but she wants to stay in control.
His card is on the nightstand next to her and she wants to call! Collin told her to call but it’s 10:30! And late times get her! Then she sees his smile and chocolate skin with those big hands and long fingers,
The conservations they had at Natalie’s! And his infections laughter He carries his humbleness well in his six foot frame. Collin is awesome to Jase!
She picks up the phone to call!
She is nervous as the phone rings three times and she is about to hang up. He told her to call ok! But! See Jase did that once and called a guy who told her to call him! He was rude when he did answer!
So before he answers as the phone has rung past several times! The phone call will end before it starts.
Heartbroken does not go good on her! She falls way in the well and can’t come out fast! Tears flow too much!
Yet! She wants to hear his calming sexy voice and see his six foot frame and just be hugged on his slim muscular frame in those long arms of his!
Collin hugs her tight every time he sees her! Hugs lasting minutes and he rubs her so lovingly.
Her knees buckle when he does this! She wonders does he like her? She hopes so!
The last time he was in her presence he took her small hands in his huge big hands of elegant long frames and just looked at her so in awe! She was done really! Those perfect puckered lips and slender long face whispered “ you ok”! She said yes!
He then hugged her more and rocked her in a sway!
It’s not late she can call yet Jase is nervous! She climbs in bed and just forgets about it until tomorrow.
Watching tv until she goes to sleep.
After two hours of sleep Jase is up! Clicking the tv remote once again! Cell phone is face down and on silent! She needs to be sleep!
She is meeting with some bloggers from Alabama and having a discussion on different topics at 8 am! In one of the conference rooms here at the blue fountain.
It’s great to see other bloggers come out and be in literary conservations from many states! Yet! Sleep wants her to be deprived!
Well! She can’t ok! Jase wants to be awesome for the hour and a half she is among writers like her! She can’t be awesome sleepy! She does not move from the bed! She will be sleep soon she thinks!
This little town outside of Boston, Massachusetts is so inviting to her and she feels welcome.
She thinks of the cafe across from the hotel and wonders of Collin!
She wants him in many ways and feels his body on hers without him there! And that’s scary for her!
If she goes there with him! She might kick her sex addiction back into gear.
Even through she wants only him! The addiction can take her to where she can’t go!
Collin has been in her dreams and she just wonders if he can handle her and the bipolar she carries.
Coffee is smelling to Jase nose getting her happy. Coffee is the it for her to get the senses tolling.
Jase walks down the hallway to the fully antique modern lobby and as she approaches she sees many people.
Some of whom she has has great pow wow discussions with. This writers conference has opened Jase up.
It required her to see confidence in her ability in writing.
Anxiety slips up as Jase is trying to pull her being into the breakfast crowd.
The blue fountain has great breakfasts. People not even staying in the hotel come in.
Jase gets her plate and moves to a table alone. She has to breathe and think! As she eats she can smell Collin cologne and she smiles.
He told her to call yet she is scared! She will call! It’s just scary to think how she would mess it up if he is the one.
So she is going slow! Gotta be cautious as she tells herself. The last time she lost all control Jase was naked in a hotel room with a bottle of empty wine! And the hangover!
She just knew the guy an hour from the bar! It was crazy and she could have been dead.
Jase had not taken her meds right and the sex addiction ran into the wall! Got in her and let the bipolar rule it!
As she is was in the room alone she could see a condom wrapper on the floor! She was hurt! And she managed to get up.
Jase got to the bathroom and saw the condom floating in the stool! She yelled “why this!”
Lawerence the Guy! Left as she slept and no goodbyes! That hurt really! She is beautiful and got substance.
She is thinking as she steps out the bathroom tears rolling down her face and Jase is numb! At that moment she sees two hundred dollars she didn’t ask for!
He saw her as a prostitute! She was so hurt! And since she has to be careful!
Yet! This tall chocolate man of slim muscular frame is on her mind and it’s scary in a good way.
Jase eats up her eggs and plantains! Swallowing the orange juice. She then quickly throws her plate away.
Goes into her huge silver purse and gets out some red bliss gloss for her full beautiful lips. Checks her face in her mirror.
Proceeds to put on her favorite purfume a dab and go to the conference room to hear on social media branding for your blog!
She is excited to hear on this! And to her surprise she gets a text from Collin as she is going in!
She can’t call him back now! But she responds back with “ glad to hear from you” and he responds back with “ I waited to hear from you! Glad I am now.”
She is all smiles now! She will see him and look into his beautiful brown eyes and see that wide smile full of teeth. Jase has to listen to the speaker now.
The presentation finally lets out at ten minutes past one. Jase is trying to mingle around the room to the other bloggers and writers.
There are some great literary people here and she feels in her zone! Plus she is exhausted and extremely hungry.
Yet! To be in this room full of writers is magic and she has to talk to a few for this will inspire her more.
As she is getting done speaking with a peer writer named Ashland Jase glances at her phone to see the time.
It’s past two by now and it’s time for her to get to the room to be in rest mode for the reminder of the day.
Jase just wants to get in the comfy bed of all white sheets and sleep.
As she gathers her stuff and goes to the room a text comes from Collin! Asking her “ how did the presentation go.” Just checking on you! Call me later.
Jase loves this and is scared at the same time cause what if he is putting on an act and not real!
She can’t be hurt again! But something is telling her trust this process he is so real!
6:30 pm: in her hotel room!
Jase is lying in the comfy white bed doing nothing and just ordered a vegan meal from a great restaurant.
She glances at her text messages on her phone looking at the message from Collin! She could call him yet it’s her that is scared!
Not him! He is showing her he is interested in a great way. It’s on her the helm of Jase now!
The text was at past two pm noon and it’s past 6 pm at night! She has to let him show who he is to her!
If he is true God will let her feel it! If he is not the red flags will show! And hopefully the bipolar will stay back ok!
When the red flags came the last time a guy showed interest Jase didn’t take her meds for two weeks and spinned into a rage of someone else.
It’s just fear and she has to trust and not see all men as the others who hurt her.
Eyes slowing closing to sleep mode cause she is extremely tired.
Jase text Collin saying “ hey handsome you wanna do lunch tomorrow”? I wanna see you!”
Collin responds back “ yes! I been wanting to see you and I am not like other guys.”
Made her heart feel good! Jase then said “ok! I am trying to trust that” you gotta be slow with me” he said “ I will and I will show you!”
“Get you some rest you been busy” I will see you tomorrow miss lady” Collin told her.
“OK! Jase text back smile outside and inside.
She continued to watch tv until she feel asleep.
Her head hit the pillow and fell right asleep after she got the last text from Collin.
Yet! She is up now and it’s not an up as in it’s bad! Like a nightmare! It’s because she is in a sexual need.
Jase feels the bipolar glaring up in flares and what do she do? It’s bad!
After having a five hour sleep she awakes to being manic and out of control!
The addiction to sex comes creeping on seducing Jase! Yet it’s after 11 pm and she gotta stays in!
For her mental well being! Being still is a must. Or else she will be in an unknown place with a stranger.
Jase has been in a no sex zone for a year, she usually can resist a good looking man and be proud.
But see!!! Collin keeps moving in closer and she likes it but is scared cause sex to her is great!
Jase knows that the heat between them will explode once they touch! Cause he wants to kiss her! And he did kiss her!
Thinking back! 1 am in bed awake!
At the opening of the beginning night of the writers conference Jase felt nervous and not connecting to the other people.
She kept her composure and tried to mingle with people! But! She felt awakard! Yet she eyed a table in the corner so she went over to it! Sat down!
There she was in the corner at the table! Sitting alone! Watching everyone else do what she wanted to do! But could not!
Just as she started to leave her phone rang! “ hey you ok”? Jase was silent as she heard Collin voice! “Yes! She said.
She was beaming cause he called! “ I been trying to reach you!” Had to hear your voice beautiful.’”
“Where are you Collin asked her?” I am at the opening dinner writers conference” at a table alone!”
“I am nervous Jase told him!” “Look you awesome don’t be nervous!” Collin told her!
A smile crossed her face and she felt something as he spoke with care and interest in her.
“Just sit there and sit pretty! I will be there with my long arms and big long hands to hug you tight! Make it better.
He came and saw Jace “looked and smiled at her with his eyes seeing her in loving ways! He just stared and opened his arms to her!
“Hey you come here” Collin said to her! Jase ran to him and he caught her!
He hugged her tight picking her up. Swinging her around and he got the kiss he wanted finally!
Long sweet loving kiss that she allowed cause she was ready and had been dreaming of this! As he had! They both were happy!
To sleep she goes on the memory of when she got here a week ago and he saw her before she saw him.
Jase was glad of Jordan sending her to this on short notice! She will thank her!
Jase! Has to get the well needed sleep she needs at past 1 am! There is a seminar on how to get the right audience in social media.
Kennedy Wilson is heading it up with the focus on blogging. So far it’s been some great presentations.
She has yet to speak and has been asked by Kennedy to speak on blogging in volumes.
Jase is thinking about it! But the bipolar nerves might come to her and when that happens she thinks too much on what has to be done.
Control is lost when the bipolar acts up in her and Jase don’t want that! It’s embarrassing to her.
She sees that Collin really likes her and everytime she is near his tall, lanky, slim, muscular frame it’s like heaven.
To see his beautiful dark skinned self walk towards her makes her heart leap.
Just to be touched by those big man hands and long fingers of extensions in a hug or hold anything....makes her wet! Really does!
Jase wonders if that is wrong? Yet s feels something much more too! The memory of how they met Keeps her.
For that big smile got her with his humble sexy charm! Jase goes to sleep seeing Collin!
Wednesday 8 :30 AM: the conference room!
As Kennedy Wilson is speaking on blogging focus and how to engage the core audience.
Jase is halfway awake and sleep! Those thoughts of Collin made her sleep patterns be off!
Good info is coming from beautiful Kennedy yet it’s just not her day to focus so intently as always.
Jase did manage to get to the seminar by 8:10 not 7:50 am like the others. Eager is not her sidekick today!
Can she just be in her bed in a fetal position sleep or having a depressed bipolar moment.
Yet! She has to be in this where her mind is not even there! Where is her rescue?
She keeps on listening even if it’s passing her mind by to kennedy and as she is dozing off n on she gets a text.
“ Hey good morning” if your up I wanna have breakfast with you.” Collin asked her.
Jase starts to wake up and beam! She is thinking I need to go see him! Smell his cologne and be in the mist of his tall 6 foot height.
The last time her and Collin were in each other present was a four days ago due to the writers conference schedule.
His voice was heard but his body and chocolate presence was not near.
He is an executive chef at a top star restaurant in the DC area and he is busy.
So for him to wanna make the time for her in her mental state is surprising to her.
Yet! She senses he knows her and still wants to be around her. He has not used her and ran away like other men.
The presence of his tall, lanky, muscular body and those long arms with the sexy for no reason being is needed for her right now! Not later! Now!
Instantly Jase can feel his blessings of beautiful big hands and long finger couple her feminine hands looking into her eyes!
He smiling and saying “ you ok” you look beautiful” hugging her against him as they connect more.
And she can’t wait to touch his beautiful nappy hair. He has it cut in a stylish Mohawk style and coiled! It smells so good.
Jase daydreaming stops her from responding so quick to him and she feels her iPhone vibrate again.
It’s Collin! “ you there?” He asked and she responded “yes in a seminar” ok he said. “ I gotta see you if you would let me.”
“Yes you can see me” Jase wrote! In my busy schedule I been trying to meet up with you” Collin told her.”
“ I thought you didn’t want to see me” Jase responded back.”
“ LOL! “ Collin laughed in the text saying” that would never be” I always wanna see you” I get you more than you know ok.”
“Know can you leave the seminar for today” I wanna make you smile.”
Jase says “ yes “ I am leaving now” she goes out the seminar into the lobby of the hotel and it’s people out mingling.
Still they are invisible to her until she gets to Collin! And out the door there he is! Looking at her deeply! Loving intent!
She ran to him again! He grabbed her! Kissing her as if he did the first
time in slow with passion filled love!
Then they look at each other and just laugh! She senses different with him and it’s scary but lovely.
He opens the car door for her and then he gets in and they go to breakfast! As he starts to drive he just keeps looking at her.
As they ride to lunch Jase is in disbelief that she is in the seat next to this beautiful black handsome man.
Since meeting him two years ago with his then girlfriend she was taken by him! And he was taken by her!
Yet they could do nothing! She could do nothing but smile back at him! But now she is next to him! She smiles on that and looks back at him! And him at her! They smile at each other.
They sit for a minute in the vehicle just staring and no words. This beautiful dark men of melanin looks at her with beautiful black eyes.
Then they laugh! And it’s a loud beautiful laughter shaking the world!
It’s freedom in the laughter they give to each other because her and Collin can be since they have nobody to account to in a relationship.
In her mind the seminar can wait! It was boring anyway “ Jase thought.”
Collin wanted to take her to lunch and she is going! And she is ready to get out the hotel among those people.
This six feet tall slim beautiful dark skinned man with beautiful black eyes and lashes to wish for! Has her attention!
Jase thinks as she is beside him in the black hummer.
Collin glances at her smiling giving her a wink! As he pulls out so they can go to lunch.
Arrived at lunch: ( sits in car talking)
Collin pulls up to the restaurant Nora’s a uniquely vegan/vegetarian cuisine and parks.
He just in his mind wants to look at Jase taking her in. All the beauty of her good, confused, and the ones that wanna run away.
Jase smiles back at him no words and it’s just perfect as she looks beautiful in her red dress.
He knows her pain and won’t leave as she thinks!
As he stares at her! They stare at each other! Collin thinks this and then they laugh loud!
They talk! “ you really enjoy me Collin and I thank you.” Why thank me Jase? “ you let me be around you and I love that! He told her as his beautiful dark eyes looked into hers!
That chocolate melanin of his melted into her dark brown melanin in that moment.
Many people passing by going into the restaurant yet Collin just wanted Jase to himself before they were among people.
Him and Jase sat in the car! The restaurant will be there.
After sitting in the car laughing, talking and wanting to just have sex right there they have to get out the car.
It’s easy in this moment but deciding to eat is better than going back to the hotel and jumping into a fire that is blazing now.
Thru look at each other and smile holding hands! Going in! Laughing and nodding in knowing them together is wonderful.
Collin and Jase walk in among other smiling laughing people enjoying the beauty of Maurice restaurant.
A chic yet calm yet popular restaurant two blocks down from the blue fountain hotel.
Maurice cuisine is vegan vegetarian with a flare of pescatarian and it’s so popular reservations have to be made.
Collin has perks cause he is a top executive chef! So he and anyone with him can slide in.
Jase is his date and he wants them to see. As the food comes to their noses they look at each other and smile!
Holding hands tighter being led to a special table! Jase bask on this moment in a giddy with this beautiful chocolate tall man! Can it be real her mind ask?
For now she will just be in this moment to not get in over herself and be hurt. It’s always a what if with Jase so it’s a pace moment!
It seems real and she will ride with it as she rides with her bipolar symptoms trying to flare up! Yet not today she fights it back.
Collin is too awesome to let it come up! He still says he understands better than she knows! And she believes him but not today!
They having lunch and he is into her! And this is what matters to Jase!
The manic in her is showing up! Hard right now bringing on the sex addiction that plagues her when she is manic high!
But! Why manic high with a wonderful guy who is not pushing sex on her? The sexual chemistry is strong and is only been kissing and feeling!
Yet! She could take him to the bathroom and get it in with him right now on the sink! Jase is feeling strong right now at lunch with him!
The sexual feelings is rising in her! She wonders what he is thinking? And says “ how are you feeling Collin?” Jase ask smiling at him.
“I am awesome here with you and that is enough for me” Collin says flirting with her with his beautiful black eyes! She loves his long lashes!
Laughter is their friend in between the feelings they have for each other.
When she and Collin met two years ago at a wedding for a friend of hers. She was running from the thought he was so handsome, tall, chocolate and slim yet muscular and sexy for all reasons! Her mind said NO!
Jase did not need that! She was in a bad relationship and could not get out of it at the time.
Looking at Collin was the devil ok! Yet the chemistry between them stuck and the way they eyes deepened said it all!
See! Collin walked her down the isle as one of the bridesmaids. They stuck like glue too. Collin was in a complicated relationship as he told her.
Jase is thinking back as she watches Collin speak to another chef and he keeps looking back admiring her smiling at her.
She tingles as he watches her eat her broccoli cauliflower Alfredo pasta and he winks at her she giggles.
Collin comes over to her gabbing her hands with those big beautiful hands of long fingers of extensions.
“ Hey baby I want you to meet
Chef Tate we worked together in Miami, Florida.
Collin guides her towards him holding her hand tight and loving.
She speaks and he holds her close as they talk to Leron Tate! Now head chef at Maurice!
As they kept talking in the mist of the chattering people and great smelling food Collin squeezed her hand rubbed it gently! He smiled at her! She smiled back.
Collin liked the feeling of touching her and holding her hand introducing Jase to his people. He was into her hard!
Jase knew there was something there.
After lunch Wednesday evening late:
Jase is back to work in another conference with Collin on her mind and how turning that lunch was.
She could be on the phone with Collin but as soon as she walked into the blue fountain hotel. Sonja Williams a blogger from Texas grabbed her.
No time to go and refresh up or nap. Seems like the seminar had been going on about two hours as she entered.
It was entertaining it’s sixth point. All Jase could thank of was how he held and kissed her. Thinking of how they laughed and stopped to look at each other.
Collin didn’t want to let her go back to the conference he wanted to take her to his meeting with a major restaurant. Yet she had to go” I will see her again he told himself. “
Jase saw the look he didn’t want her to go and if she wasn’t the fourth lead blogger she would have went to the meeting with him. Just hung around with Collin.
Yet! He knows she is a grinder too! He loves that about her it’s sexy! Yet! Jase wanted to be with him and him with her.
In a world of bloggers she is fourth on the list of bloggers to watch and so it’s work to be done.
As he l ad her to the hotel lobby he held her hand tight! Taken by her telling her “ my lunch was made today with you there” even as I was busy thank you”
You welcome”Jase says!” I thought I was I in the way! “.No your never in the way I wanted you there.
“I could keep you all evening but you gotta a seminar left and I respect your grind. You call me after don’t forget or I will call you.
He loosened her hand slowly still looking at her deeply and smiling. Walking away with that sexy swag and tall pretty height amazed her.
WOW! She could picture her legs wrapiped into his long legs. His tall slender built and big hands with those long fingers got her! Yet! When those black marvel of marbel eyes looked at her in sweet ways with those lips she was done.
He had it! Sweet loving kind Collin had sex appeal upon all! He smiled at her and she got wet! That big smile.
This is why she wanted to change yet could not. So she threw them away ok!
Thinking back to lunch and all past the rest of the day the seminar passes by fast cause it was boring talking about core audiences. Which is good info to know.
Yet it wasn’t on her Radar to think of this evening. He was on her radar.
Jase was glad the bipolar went away as it tried to creep up at lunch. I mean can I have some peace without trouble of you coming bipolar.
She did good!
10 pm: still Wednesday ( night )
Comfortable in her pink housecoat relaxed in her suite. Jase holds a glass of mosquito wine in her hand. Just one glass.
She knows what alcohol does to her bipolar. Writing has been on her platform since the last seminar about four hours ago.
So when she writes she has one glass of wine. It’s a great ease as she plates down words on the book.
Collin is not far from her thoughts. He text her and called her which made her heart flip beats. As he is in Boston he is working at a restaurant he helps and co-owns.
She hears the people talking and pots clinking and food being worded out. He is calling out orders as he talks to her yelling and it’s sexy to her!
“Bae you ok gotta hear your voice” missing you. “ I am good writing” that’s cool Collin says. “ I gotta read it. Then here it comes lol “who dropped a whole dam plate of food” do it over again” really. “Baby these folks here ok” let me go get this straight I will call you back sweetness. “ ok baby,
Early Thursday morning 2 am:
With the mosquito on her night stand and Nina Simone playing on the radio Jase is sound asleep spaced out in the bed.
The wine chilled her as she worked on a presentation for Friday at the writing conference.
Jase is excited and hasn’t told Collin yet! This writers conference gave her some spunk after the incident.
The incident is one thing she hasn’t talked to Collin about cause she don’t want to lose him.
Thinking of that she falls asleep! Deeply sounded when her phone vibrated and it’s a sweet text message from Collin!
“ Hey beautiful you are sleep and it’s late” just wanted to say goodnight things got so busy wanted to talk to you more. “ love you see you in the morning.
Half asleep but awake she beams and smiles. Responding back she sends a heart dozing back off!