The whole point of this piece is how Bird Eating Spiders are actually called such because they can eat birds, they're not part of their regular diet. It sounds to me like how a friend gets a nickname for something they did once, or something they've never done but someone who looks like them did. The spider is friends with the scientists, who have given him this species name because they saw a similar spider eat a bird once. He now has to live that down in the after work banter at the pub. You might know someone like that, they did something once that earned them a nickname they'll never live down. The Bird Eating Spider's banter reaches a pinnacle here when an actual bird comes into the pub he frequents with the scientists.
Also, the phrase about eating the bird is also meant to sound like the spider would pursue sexual relations (oral sex) with the bird (a colloquial term for women). The idea being that if the spider was a person, the scientists would be giving him a gentle ribbing about finding a woman attractive and wanting to sleep with her. In both cases (being a spider and person) the spider gives up and admits he would, to the satisfaction of his friends knowing they're right.
This whole thing is stupid. It's a one page comic around a half formed idea I have that I'm not sure people will even get. Let's just go with it, ham it up as much as possible, and hope people at least enjoy the absurdity of the premise.
A Bird Eating Spider1 crossed with the spider voiced by MC Chris in Aqua Teen Hunger Force2. This isn't a scary spider, one of those friendly, kind of people looking ones.
The scientists are of diverse backgrounds3: Asian, Indian, some are women. Read up on the modern breakdown of people in scientific fields at the moment. This isn't just for diversity's sake, these scientists are going to be acting like typical english blokes, which makes it even funnier if none of them are white males. The scientists may not be old white men, but they do have to be wearing lab coats and glasses.
The pub itself is old. Furnishings are woodgrain with plush, red leather booths and green carpet that your feet stick to. It feels dank and cosy, the sort of place people have sunk pints in after work for 100 years.
The scientists and the spider are sitting around a booth, with the spider sitting on a stool at the end of the table (don't ask me how). The scientists, let's say there's 4, are in the booth around him. Think of the framing for people sitting at their favourite pub in a sitcom4.
The spider needs to be on the stool so the bar can be visible behind him. In the background, a pigeon is sitting on a bar stool at the bar.
(pointing to the bird at the bar)
Hey, you'd eat that fucking bird, wouldn't ya?
A close up of the pigeon at the bar. I'm thinking a simple profile of a pigeon, like what you'd get from a Poorly Drawn Lines comic5. The bird is looking straight ahead, a half drunk pint on the bar. It has no idea the scientists and the spider are talking about it.
That one there, at the bar.
Back to the gang in the booth.
Haw haw! Looks tasty.
C'mon guys, you know I wouldn't do that.
A close up of scientist 3, leaning forward with hands on the table.
Yeah, but if it flew into your web, you'd give it a little nibble, wouldn't ya?
Back to the gang, but closer in on the spider. The scientists on either ends of the booth can be partially cropped out of this frame.
I mean, I might if it did. But you guys know I mostly eat worms and toads. It was that other spider that ate a bird- that one time!
Pan over to scientist 3 and 4 to the right of spider. Scientist 4 has a finger pointing into the palm of their opposite hand, listing the stats.
Yeah, but we did the tests, you're just like that other spider.
Same Family, same Genus, same Species...
Now pan over to a close up of scientist 2 and spider. Scientist 2 is pointing at spider.
Say it's already in your web, you'd eat that fucking bird, wouldn't ya.
A full shot of the gang again. Spider is throwing his front arms up in defeat.
Alright, fine. Yes, if that bird flew into my web I'd eat it.
Full shot of the gang. Scientist one is leaning back, hands behind head, looking satisfied. The rest of the scientists are smiling. Spider is looking at scientist 1, a sense of frustration from the banter.
Huh huh, I knew it...
A close up of scientist 1, same pose as above.
You'd eat that fucking bird.
1: [Might as well keep it accurate. Here’s what a Bird Eating Spider looks like:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goliath_birdeater] is sitting in a booth at an old English pub with some scientists. The spider is the size of a human, with two large cartoonish eyes instead of the eight dots of terror they usually have.
Imagine Aziz Ansari[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aziz_Ansari
And look him up on Youtube]
Doesn’t need the nappy and bonnet though.]
3: [I’d be cool with most of the scientists looking like a grown up Natella from Bromwell High. I feel the animation style would fit the comic.
4: [The main image that comes to mind to me is the bar set from How I Met Your Mother. I fucking detest that show, but the framing works for this comic. Also look at clips from the british sitcom coupling. It’s a little different in layout, but would have closer backgrounds to what I’m thinking of.
The spider would be Ted in this image (the middle guy, if you’ve been fortunate enough to never have watched this show, or find him so boring a character you can’t remember his name):
5: [Like in the first panel of this one, look at that shitty motherfucker: