It's hard for me to cry, and it's hard for me to laugh. I take everything so seriously even if it's not ment to be a serious situation. I am cold ; colder then the Minnesota snow frozen inside. it's so easy for me to hide beneath my skin. It's hard for me to cry even tho my life is may be down and out and turned up side down, and all around with broken promises, and dusty wedding gowns. It's hard for me to smile even tho my teeth are laced with metal that have turned them into beautiful butterflies compared to the ugly caterpillars they once where. It's hard for me to cry... I try every day I try and I try and I try to cry. At times I break down, it sure does take a lot for that tho. I am like the brick wall that the wolf could never destroy. Sometimes I fake cry; I fake cry to make me feel less cold.  I am bitter. I am 24 and bitter. I am the young bitter old lady who tells nothing but harsh truths while drinking her ice tea in the hot southern sun. It's hard for me to cry. I have scars; scars so deep they should still hurt; hurt from the infliction that caused them. I have scars so deep that blood should shed from me like it sheds from a dry nose on a dry day in the Minnesota heat. It's hard for me to cry, even tho I should be crying constantly from this heartbreak I suffer from that feels like being stabbed over and over and over again in the lungs where I can barley breathe or speak. It's hard for me to cry, because crying makes me feel weak, and weakness is ugly. My bitterness as turned my tears to stone. It's hard for me to laugh to cry to smile to shout to be touched.... I am afraid to let it all out because when I do what's there to stop me  but half empty tissue box that serves me no purpose other then to wipe away the hysterical yet unbelievable amount of snot away from my face. It's hard for me to cry even tho I weep in side of me every day all day. To show myself to show what hides beneath the cold bitterness of me  will present and opening for another wound to be inflicted upon when I m already so bruised and tattered. It's hard for me to cry