And at night
You roll over in bed
It's cold, still.
And the only one sleeping with you
Is the moon outside your open window
The moon doesn't love you
And the moon doesn't care.

I dream of headlights.

Of eighty miles per hour, of the quiet humming of an engine and the murmuring of the radio. I dream of light reflected in your focused yet distant eyes. I've never been more at peace. It feels like this serenity will last forever, and maybe it will, but we both know it won't.

Mistakes are unforgiven. Forgiveness is a theory. No one really forgives.

I dream of headlights, and your eyes. It makes me weak with longing. Nowhere to go and no one to be. Tiredness. Music. The haunting idea of love. Love is as much of a theory as forgiveness, but I want to love. I want a lot of forbidden things. I want the warm solidarity of sleeping beside you.

I'm weak with longing. I long for the ocean and laughter and cheap jewelry. I long for the sunlight and smiles and knowing glances. But there's just nothing now.

Flat, expansive, nothingness.

I am weak, as the past grabs for me with gentle, violent hands. I am weak, under my own foolishness and rashness. With my jealousy and vices, my ego. Everything gone. Nothing.

I don't want the pain that tastes like you anymore
Your existence wounds me
The concavity of lost love?
Love is violence
Wrath
Lost love - Lost my mind,
Miss you and want you back
Fuck off
Don't talk to me and don't think of me
I'll shut my eyes and I'll kiss her and pretend she's you
Fuck off
You are pain.
I need you close but
You speak to me and all I hear are
Flashbacks;
Dream Girl. Sleep tight.
Bloody kisses, ruminations, 3 a.m.
4,
5,
Dream girl, dream girl, dream girl,
I'll summon you like a monster
I think of you and I think of wracking sobs
Of the self-inflicted hole in my heart
Of agony
Messy definitions of love
With fangs for teeth
You tore me asunder