After a struggle over five months to choose and select poems that I could share, I ended up with these fourteen. They are written over the course of three years. I have selected a few from my collection,only the ones I felt courageous enough to share and make into a small book.
I have no experience as an editor, so for now, these poems will suffice. One day, I will be confident enough to share all of my work with an audience.
I smoke cigarettes on the fire exit, the smoke billowing off
remembering the time we made love and you looked in my eyes and whispered, ' yes, forever yes.' I had all the possible ways I could say it back, but I sew my mouth shut for that moment as you turned back and moaned a quiet 'I love you' in her ear, while looking in my eyes, apologies in your eyes.
I refuse to call it sex, for then it would make me your toy and all the meaning that has been created in my head would disappear like the smoke from my lungs does, one breath at a time.
I like slow deaths, yes I definitely do. I fall in love with monster, I get drunk on nights too warm to sleep. I kill the sane thoughts in my mind because if they're left alive, I will see the monster in your eyes, the poison in your words and I'd have to give you up , just like I want to give up these secret cigarettes. But I don't. I live in my fantasies and smile to myself as the cigarette smoke slowly chokes me, not like a gunshot, but a parasite eating at my body as I let you eat my sanity.
I may have grown a new skin,
but my bones still remember you.
They still shake when they hear
Like a bullet ricocheting,
everytime you're casually mentioned
I squirm a little more,
your name refused to
leave my bones.
My skin has forgotten
the feel of you,
but you still appear
like a punch to the
rhythm of my heart.
Leave me now,
call your ghost back.
- I leave a verse unfinished 'til your ghost leaves.