Secrets . . . we all have them, don't we?

That thing you did in the second grade. You know; the thing you'd die of embarrassment from if anyone ever found out.

We all have our little embarrassing secrets we'd like to keep hidden.

But there are some secrets that go deeper, the kinds that actually cause pain, strikes fear into its keeper's soul – secrets that we'd go to the ends of the earth to keep.

Now, what if it hurt you so much you couldn't even share it with your closest friends?

What if you took the risk and let it all out?

Would you die of embarrassment then, or would the people around you start treating you like you'd suddenly grown a third eye?

You’d never know unless you tried.

 The point of this is to ask you; are we better off just keeping our secrets to ourselves, or should we give the people in our lives a chance before we shut them out completely?

Eric Pierce

A hollow feeling enveloped my chest as I snuck out of her room.

I was disappointed in myself; another night getting wasted at some bar had left me waking up in some stranger’s bed yet again.

Through the blurs of my hangover, I couldn’t seem to remember much about last night, past the many shots of vodka. When I reached her bedroom door, I did the last button on my shirt and took one last look at the sleeping figure in the bed across the room.

At least the drunk me had been smart enough to not take her to my place, I thought to myself.

I opened the door and stepped out into the hallway. On my left, stood a floor to ceiling window with the light of the sun eagerly seeping through the thin curtains - not what I was looking for. On my right stood my way to freedom – the stairs.

I walked over to them. From this angle all I could see was thirty-something steps leading to a shiny white floor. 

At the base of the stairs, I found myself in a foyer with two archways – one on each side. I didn’t take notice of anything else as I come face-to-face with a pair of glass doors. I walked to them and I was just a few feet away from them when I heard a cough behind me.

My body froze and the phrase, “so close, but so far,” had never been more true. I turned around expecting to find someone facing me. Imagine my relief, when there was no one there. 

The slipper-clad feet in front of me though – feet that weren’t feminine at all - were descending the steps fast. My brain decided to take that moment to go into over-drive. It felt as if I was going to have an aneurysm, as my body started to move, fast. 

I practically ran to the front door as an idea hits me – the man coming down the stairs could be that girl’s father! With that swirling around my head I rushed out of the house like it was on fire. I quietly closed the door behind me as the man’s head is about to come into view.

Once outside, I pressed my back up against the wall next to the door - I definitely didn’t want to be seen running down the driveway. I waited a couple of minutes before checking if the coast was clear. I peaked though the glass and all I saw was an empty foyer looking back at me.

I took the opportunity and ran down to the sidewalk. I spotted my car immediately as it was only parked across the street. I doubt I’d ever been this happier to see it.

Not wasting any time, I walked over to it. I decided against going home first. Heading straight to school would probably be the best idea. I took the car out of park and drove off.

Aubrey Monroe

 I wake up, but don’t open my eyes. The first thing I’m aware of is the feeling of an uncomfortable surface under me. The next thing I’m aware of is a musty smell. It causes me to have momentary paralysis, as the awful smell doesn’t do any good to my already throbbing brain.

When I’m able to, my eyes flash open and I’m welcomed by an unfamiliar white ceiling that appears to be peeling. My body freezes again, but not from the smell wafting up to me from the mattress. It’s caused by the memories that are returning to me from the night before, staying on repeat in my mind.

I remember everything; from driving here with tears threatening to come out, following them, that nearly-empty vodka bottle, and passing out after the tears and alcohol had left me with a headache that made me breathless. I know that vodka bottle was sitting on the bedside next to me – probably scorning me where it lay for almost drinking it dry.

One humorless giggle leaves my lips as I realized that I could’ve died last night. I roll my eyes, while rolling my body off of this crappy motel bed. I get up and try in vain to “walk off” my hangover as I pace around the cramped, sorry-excuse of a room.

My phone suddenly starts ringing and it effectively brings me out of my somewhat depressing train of thought. My head whips around, looking for the source of the sound. I see my satchel carelessly thrown on the ground next to the entrance door. I rush over to it, and grab it before it can stop ringing. The screen informs me that Charlotte’s calling.

“Hello?” I answer the call in almost a moan. The effect of my sudden rush across the room clashes with my hangover and I fall on my butt.

“Aubrey, are you okay?” I can almost see the worry on her face.

I sigh and laugh at the same time, managing to get out, “I’m fine, Charlotte. What’s up?”

“Well,” she paused, “for starters, are you aware that we have cheer practice this morning?”

I sigh again, but inwardly this time – school with a hangover to nurse. What a day this is going to be, “Yeah?”

“Then… are you running late or something because practice started 30 minutes ago and Rachel is having a cow. What the hell?!”

I let myself genuinely laugh, “Char, don’t worry. I just got a little off track this morning.” I look around the motel room while adding, “I’ll be there before you can say-“

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just get here already,” she laughs into the phone.

“See you soon Char,” I whisper after hanging up the phone.

I press my back against the wall and use it as support to push myself off the ground. I put my phone in my front pocket and walk over to a door that I know leads to a ratty looking bathroom. I’d spent part of the night in it. I go and wash my mouth to try and get out the bitter, dry taste.

I walk out of the bathroom, pick up my bag up from on the floor, and walk out of the room. The heat from the sun instantly starts to sting my skin, as one step out of the door has me standing in the motel’s parking lot. Pulling my sunglasses out, I skillfully flick them on while walking over to my car. It isn’t hard to spot, since the lot is banking on empty. Besides, the motel strikes me as being more of a nocturnal hangout.

Harshly, I open my door after unlocking it and plop into my seat. As my revving engine overpowers my hearing momentarily, one sarcastic thought runs through my mind.

And another exciting day begins in the life of Aubrey Monroe.

Kate Graham

I stay there lying on the bathroom floor with the last tear running down my cheek. I'd spent the whole night crying my eyes out and I couldn’t do it anymore. The cool tiles of the bathroom touching my back feel barely there as all I can think about is of what happened last night. It had happened again and after, I had been hiding in here. I haven’t even slept; I’d been too shaken to even think about sleep.

Now my eyes feel dry and as if they are about to fall out of my head, my eyelids feel as if they’ve gained a ton overnight, my throbbing body feels incapable of movement and my tear induced headache is just icing on an already overly iced cake. I feel awful.

 I take a deep breath to get myself together and pull myself off the floor trying not to put pressure on any of the bruises covering half my body. I stand up and look into the mirror over the sink, my eyes drifting over my bruised stomach and arms as I inspect the damage. I run my fingers along the tender skin, barely feeling it as it seemed that my skin was partially numb from the pulsating pain.

The cold green eyes in my reflection send chills down my spine. My face looks so lifeless and . . . I quickly snap myself out of that train of thought. It’s Monday – and Monday entails sucking up all the pain and pretending to be happy. My mood sinks deeper at the thought, the thought of lying to the people around me without even having to talk.

I shower quickly and walk out of the bathroom in a fresh towel. I walk back over to mirror and reach into the cabinet under the sink for the makeup bag that’s shoved into the corner.

I tried my best to stop my hand from shaking as I lifted the brush to my face.  My eyes made contact with the ones in the mirror and I kept them there in an attempt to not have to look at the ugly bruises. The bristles of the brush scratched my face slightly as I blended the makeup. It hurt the tender skin and I’d flinched away from it so many times by the time I was done with it.

I could see a bit of purple showing through on my left cheek, but I left it – it could pass as blush – and applied some purple blusher to the right one. There it’s down, I thought dryly.

Not wanting to look into the mirror anymore than I had to, I got up roughly from my vanity and walked out of my room – bag in hand. I rushed down the stairs two at a time and headed straight for the kitchen. Not really looking around when I walked in I immediately snagged a yogurt from the fridge.

“Good morning to you too, Kate.”

I stiffened momentarily before I turned around. My mom was sitting at the island drinking coffee. I exhaled the breath I’d been holding slowly and forced a smile, “Sorry mom, didn’t see you there.”

Just then my sister, Piper, walked into the kitchen and we both turned to look at her. I liked the way we looked so similar to each. Piper and I had both inherited our mother’s green eyes and brown hair but while our mother had a rather pale complexion, Piper and I had a thing for the sun and so we were significantly darker than her.

“Good morning,” Piper said walking over to the cabinets.

“Hey, can you throw me a granola bar?” I asked her as I took a seat at the island.

Piper threw it to me and I caught mom looking at me. I met her gaze – I wish I hadn’t though – her concerned gaze was telling me more than I could take at the moment and so I quickly looked away.

“Is that all you’re having?” She asked.

I didn’t look at her as I opened yogurt. “Yeah mom, I’m not really hungry.” Truth is I don’t think I can stomach much else right now. We ate the rest of our breakfast in silence and I had avoided eye contact the entire time.

“Okay, you guys ready to go?” Mom asked breaking the silence.

Piper got up and grabbed her bag from the floor. “Yeah.”

“Actually mom,” I started. Her gaze met mine and my resolve wavered slightly. “I have some things I need to do before I go, so I think I gonna walk.”

Her face was bare of any emotion. “Are you sure,” was all she asked.

I pursed my lips and nodded.

“Okay then Pip, let’s go,” Mom said as she left the kitchen.

Piper lingered behind as Mom left. I looked at her and she squeezed my shoulder reassuringly, I didn’t flinch as she unknowingly touched a bruise. “Bye Kat.”

I nodded and she left as well.

I’d gone to my room and waited until Mom’s car had left the driveway before I went off to school. I didn’t really have anything to do and I don’t really know why I lied. I just couldn’t handle the way my mom was starting to look at me – like I was broken or something. Besides, I never really looked forward to going to school much nowadays either.

The sun was merciless, which was unusual in Nor Port, but I had to get to school non the less. I felt exhausted and just prayed to God I wouldn’t sweat this makeup off.

Connor Harmen

I break into consciousness when I feel a sudden pain in the back of my head. My eyes flash open and I realize that I’m on my bedroom floor. Did I just fall off the bed?

I hear snickering as a head of dark brown hair peaks over the edge of the bed and a set of brown eyes stare back at me. It’s obvious she’s trying to hold back laughter with the way her hands are clamped around her mouth but then again it’s obvious that she failing miserably.

I look up at her with a smirk on my face, “Do you find this funny?”

That seems to push her over the edge as her laughter breaks free and she buries her face in the mattress. “Maybe,” she manages to choke out.

 I get off the floor and turn her over, immediately planting my lips on hers. She responds eagerly, and knots her fingers in my hair. I trail my hand up her bare waist but freeze as a thought flashes through my mind.

She notices and pulls back, “You okay?”

I smile and stand up, “Yeah I’m okay, but we have school to get ready for.”

That wasn’t what had made me stop; the thought of being late for school wouldn’t have been enough. But that was the only excuse I could come up with in such short notice.

She lays down on the bed and groans, “School?”

I laugh slightly, “Yeah, school.” I lean over and kiss her slightly. “Come on,” I said as I helped her up from the bed.

I watch her as she walks across the room to a bag she’d brought with her yesterday and takes out a pile of clothes. She looks over her shoulder at me, “Aren’t you planning on getting ready?”

I avoid eye contact as I pretend to think, “Well I’m not too sure . . .”

She laughs and raises an eyebrow at me. “You’re going,”

“How are you so sure?”

“Oh, I’m more than sure,” she says as she saunters over to me.

After our ‘discussion’ we got ready and I meet her in the kitchen. When I walk in she’s just finished buttering two bagels.

“You ready to go?” she asks handing me a bagel.

“Yeah,” I say as I lead her out of the house – locking the door behind us. “And before I forget,” I pull her keys out of pocket and hand them to her. “You left these upstairs.”

I watch as she takes the keys out of my hand and fiddles with the small brown teddy bear attached to the key ring. “Thanks,”

I take her hand, “Come on, we’re going to be late.”

Connor Harmen

It was lunch time and Aubrey, Eric, Gabriella and I were sat at our usual table in the middle of the cafeteria. Gabriella sat leaning against as she laughed at some joke about hair Aubrey had just told. Both Eric and I looked at each other with confused expressions – we did not get it.

I rubbed my hands together without really thinking about it. Today had been one of those days when the cafeteria’s air conditioning was actually on, since it was so hot outside for once.

The girls continued their conversation and I turned to Eric.

“Where were you yesterday? I called but you wouldn’t answer.”