Random Musings


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Among other things that night, it was the proximity that stirred it. The thing he had worked so hard to bury. Seven months had passed since he'd first experienced the subsequent storm of emotions but naturally that wasn't enough. He had tried so hard to bury his affection for her. He'd prayed, cried and cursed. And all it took to bring it back was the sight of a random girl with a random guy being close together.

When they'd approached the bus stop he was waiting at, he had sensed it. They wanted to kiss. It was their proximity. It was the slight shoulder tilt of the girl. It was the look in their eyes, the pupils dilated. His pupils had dilated like that for her. She commented on it many times before, expressing to him how it made her feel so loved; she felt she wasn't deserving of it.

There was a time in the park, they were sitting by the river admiring the swans and she had a cap on that reflected in her dark, mysterious, brown eyes. Their hands held, faces inches away from each other. Right before their mouths locked, she told him his pupils had dilated.

Other memories exploded in his mind and he knew the couple before him now wanted to kiss. He just knew. So he turned away, remembering things he'd tried to forget. Surely, within the minute, the girl was pushing her boyfriend against the bus stop, on her tiptoes. He heard the soft sound of their lips making contact.

That was what did it.

There was only one thing he could do to not break down. And that was to blast "Fuck everything" by Jon Lajoie from his phone


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Dear Diary

Dear diary,

Today the heavens wept, a cold mask of sorrow above my head. I found out later, why. A few steps in, on the path to see the one I'd spent the past month praying for, it started raining. They say the sky weeps when a beloved person passes into the next life. But this time they wept because today I would be the birth of my inner death. All I wanted to do was see them one more time, see their smile and hug them. I was already late, so I started running. I ran as fast as I could, a two mile journey, uphill mostly. I can solemnly say I have never ran that fast in my life. I hadn't got them a gift because I had no time. Every time I had seen them in the past, I had given them something.

But I hadn't seen the thief of my heart in a month and I was already late . When I was almost there I called them... Their voice... It sent waves waves of warmth through my heart. We spoke a bit, and I made a joke. She laughed and replied with  words I hadn't heard in a month.

"I love you." 

Three words. Those three words. That's all it took. I wanted to break down with tears of happiness and I found the strength to keep running again. It was raining but I had my sleeves up and my hood down.

"God," I thought, "if we're truly meant to be together, show me a sign."

But hope is a sad thing. 

I saw her and the rain slowed. Her hair was a mess, as usual, curly and everywhere. A grim expression showed on her face, probably from the cold. When she saw me wet and sleeveless, she shook her head. "You're an idiot." 

Her first words, not a hello or an I missed you. You're an idiot. But I took this as a sign. She'd always called me an idiot.

We spoke and laughed and a rainbow came out. The sky was blue and the grass was wet. I took this as another sign.

But not long after, she said it. She told me. 

"Listen. I... I have..."

"What? You have... What?"

"Well... It's just that... We've all got to move on and all..."

"You found a guy?"


"That's, that's brilliant. That's, that's good, really good."

"You think so?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I do. You have a new life ahead of you took forward to. New adventures, new places, new faces."

And that was why the heavens wept.

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Ugly Buggers

The door was like a black hole.

Every few seconds it would birth a waitress in a food-stained white shirt, their black ties faring hardly better. And with them came the beasts of hell. Ugly buggers. Each race had at least three different species and they seemed to multiply before my very eyes. They were marked with fleshy remains and small white grains that could only be there to make them look innocent and enticing. When they touched, they communicated with horribly high pitched shrieks, shattering my eardrums.  But that wasn't the worst part. What was worse was that I had been given three restaurants to wash dishes for by myself in a tiny box away from the main kitchen at a football stadium and was expected to do so from 2pm-12pm.

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Late to work

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The Hunt 100 word version

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A Falling of Dusk

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