By Kym Kostos

Copyright © 2014 by Kym Kostos

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

ISBN: 978-1501079023

You’re a single girl who is independent and carefree. Maybe you’ve just gotten out of a divorce or it’s been awhile since your break-up with your boyfriend. You’ve gotten over the relationship ending and you are comfortable and actually happy being single. Sure, there are times when you wish you had someone to cuddle with on those cold and rainy nights, but you have learned to compensate and be good to yourself, instead of worrying about how to please the other person.

Your happiness as a single girl depends on how you deal with it. There are many things you can do to celebrate your shackles being unlocked. One of them is NOT sitting at home moping around wishing you had someone to share your life with.

With that attitude, you exude desperation and loneliness and ask any guy, that is a major turn off, even other girls will tell you that a desperate guy isn’t attractive at all. Men love confident women, not to be confused with cocky or arrogant. But, a woman with a certain independent flair about herself and an air of confidence will attract the men like bees to honey.

But, right now, you prefer to be alone and enjoy your “me” time. Because that is exactly what it is. This is your time to rediscover yourself, maybe find yourself again if you had been married or in a long term relationship where you lost your identity of who you were. Maybe you need some soul searching and to make changes in your life. Or maybe it’s just your time to celebrate being single and have fun in the process!

Ladies, have you ever had a long day at work, drive home in bumper to bumper traffic for two hours, walk through the door only wanting a glass of wine, a hot bubble bath, lit candles, a good book or some of your favorite tunes to listen to and you are greeted at the door by your husband or boyfriend with, “Thank god you’re home! I’m starving!” While he is sitting on your sofa watching the sports game of the night.

This is when the perks of being a single girl look pretty damn good at that point. When you’re single and you come home from a long day of work and battling traffic jams on the way home, all you want to do is take a nice hot bubble bath and relax with a bottle of wine that you don’t have to share with anyone and if you want something stronger than wine, then you can have that as well and not have to worry about making dinner for anyone or catering to anyone. If you want, you can just order delivery or take-out and enjoy your quiet evening at home with a romantic movie and no sport games on the T.V. You don’t have to listen to anyone complain about their day and compare yours with theirs on how bad it was.

If you want to complain or talk about your day to someone, you can always call one of your girlfriends and confide in her and if you are feeling rather generous, listen to what she has to say as well. Then smile when she begins to complain about how her boyfriend doesn’t do this or that for her and then be thankful that you are single!

Once you are done with your bath, knocked off a bottle of wine, watched your romantic movie or movies, depending on how tired you were, now is bed time. You crawl into the nice clean sheets you had put on your big bed this morning. You know they are clean and that no one has slept in them, because you live all alone.

This is your bed, you do not share it with anyone. You have it all to yourself. No one to steal the blankets and no one to steal your pillows. And best of all, no one to listen to snore. Yes, you know what I am talking about. I am sure that all of us at one point or another have had that ex-boyfriend or ex-husband who could rip the shingles off the house by snoring.

A snoring love partner is not one to be taken lightly. I had an ex-boyfriend who shook the walls literally when he snored. I mean, he was a big guy and it seems to me that most big guys snore very loudly. I lost so much sleep over his snoring.

When I had broken up with him, I had finally gotten a good night’s sleep. Truth be told, I had forgotten what one of those were like.

So, now since you do not have to share the bed with anyone else but yourself, you can get a very restful good night’s seep and wake up feeling rested and well refreshed in the morning.

No more dark circles under your eyes, no more tired looking eyes from lack of sleep or even being up all night crying because of an argument you and your boyfriend have had. No more of those long nights staying awake wondering if he’s going to call you. Just a nice and quiet peaceful night’s sleep and on your own schedule!

I had a boyfriend who would stay over and then get up two hours earlier than me to go to work! I had to go by his schedule in sleeping. I had to rearrange my sleep pattern in order to accommodate him in his. No more of that! I go to sleep when I want and wake up when I want on no one’s schedule except my own!

Ever have one of those boyfriends or husbands who didn’t like you sleeping in a large t-shirt and shorts and wanted you to wear lingerie all the time? I did. It gets tiring of having to please them at all times wearing sexy lingerie, panties and a bra.

Sometimes you just want to “bum it” in sweats and a t-shirt and leave the sexiness outside. When you are single, you don’t have to impress anyone with sexy lingerie or matching bra and panty sets.

So, you get up in the morning after a restful night’s sleep. You decide you want to make some breakfast. Pancakes sound really good with whipped cream and strawberries. Who cares about those little extra calories? It’s the weekend and you’ve been hitting the gym all week and can afford to splurge in the calorie department without having anyone there to tell you or watch you. NO GUILT!

After breakfast and the calories haven’t kicked in yet, they usually take a day or so before they show. Take advantage! You decide to go outside and wash your car and the frat guys across the street are doing the same. You have on your short Daisy Duke shorts and a bikini top and you want to get a little extra sun while you wash your car. Flirt like hell with those guys. You’ve already caught them checking you out.

Guess what? You don’t have a boyfriend or significant other frowning at you while you shake your ass and put on a little flirting show for those neighborly frat guys. It’s all fun and games and it’s harmless. Besides, what girl doesn’t like an ego booster by having some hot younger frat guys flirting and checking you out? If you got it, flaunt it!

Also, when you go to the grocery store, gas station, even out with your friends who all have boyfriends, you can dance and flirt with whomever you wish to grant your attention to. You don’t’ have to answer to anyone and harmless flirting is always fun!

In speaking of fun, you now have more time to spend with your girlfriends and hang out and do things with them. Organize a girls night out, have girlie dinner parties where you all dress up and just stay in and have dinner together. Even host a tea party! The possibilities are endless! Without any interference from the guys, you can do whatever you want for entertainment and fun.

Plan a shopping trip with your friends. Make a day of it. Go to the spa, have lunch and shop until you drop! It’s your money that you have earned, why not treat yourself and splurge?

So now when you do have to buy presents, you don’t have to buy any for a significant other. This makes Christmas shopping a whole lot easier, less expensive and less frustrating!

No more pretending that you enjoy spending your Sunday watching football! Remember all those Sundays when you wanted to do something besides sit in front of the television and watch football or baseball or whatever sport of choice your ex had? You only pretended to like football because he did. But, now you will not be subjected to it at all and can now spend your Sundays just as you please. Remember all those Lifetime for Women movies you had missed that were aired on Sundays? Now you can watch them all!

No more being subjected to his loud and obnoxious friends! Every guy has them, or at least one friend who is very loud and obnoxious. You know the one? He always cracks the worst jokes in the poorest of taste. He is a skirt chasing, loud mouthed, excessive alcoholic who always manages to embarrass himself and anyone else with him in public places. You only tolerated him because he was your boyfriend’s best friend since childhood. Thing is, he still acts like a child! Well, no more of having to put up with him any longer!

No more having to go to your husband or boyfriend’s boring family dinners or functions. His mother was always comparing you to his past girlfriends and it made you feel so uncomfortable. You were seriously and honestly tired of hearing about all of the “ones that got away”. Good riddance to all of them!

Remember how your ex loved golfing?

Remember how he used to take you to the golf course and how bored you were watching him, but he always insisted you go with him. Well, no more!

Now that you can go anywhere you please when you want, who you want with, you can dress for yourself. That’s right. You are no longer trying to impress anyone! So, that pretty flower skirt you had bought but your ex didn’t like, you can wear it now! Those high heeled shoes that made you taller than him and he always complained, you can wear them now! No more hearing him complain about what you are wearing or that it isn’t sexy enough for him. The only person you are going to dress to impress now is you!

And guess what? No more shaving every day! That’s right! Remember how you would have to shave so that stubble on your legs wouldn’t scratch him when he would run his hands down your legs? Remember how badly you subjected yourself to razor burn every day?

Now, you don’t have to shave for anyone! If you don’t feel like it, leave it. No one is going to be feeling your body and now you can let your skin relax and take it natural course.

And on the days you do shave and wear that sexy little two piece bikini or shorts, when guys are checking you out, you can check them out as well! No more having to wonder if your ex is watching you sneak some peaks at the neighborhood frat guys or that hot guy at the cash register at the grocery store. Now, they are all free game to check out, flirt with and make googly eyes at them.

So, it’s your Saturday and are there things for you that need to be done? Like work outside… or not!

Yes, that’s right! You no longer have to do boring outside yard work because your ex wants you to help them. Now, you can hire some hot and muscular guys to do that for you while you sit back and sip that iced tea and watch them sweat under the sun’s rays. How sexy is that?

Or even better… before your boring old ex would clean the swimming pool out, but now, you can hire that hunky young pool guy to do that for you. In fact, you can hire an array of gorgeous hot muscular hunky guys to do all those outside chores for you.

And if you really want to play the damsel in distress, ask one of those hot frat guys to help you take things down from the top cabinet in the kitchen and then admire their muscles as they flex them for you. No ex around to say anything and you are a single girl who can watch and do anything she wants!

Now, while you are grocery shopping and your cart accidentally hits that hot guy’s cart and he smiles at you and you get those girlie tingly feelings, you can smile back now without having to worry about your ex seeing you or an argument ensuing. In fact whenever a hot guy looks at you, smile back, make it a rule! No hot guy goes unnoticed! Yu definitely won’t be saying to yourself, “Oh great, I can’t flirt or smile back at that hunky guy, because I have a boyfriend.”

When Valentine’s Day comes along, who cares if you are single! It’s a made up holiday anyway. Buy yourself some chocolates and send yourself your favorite flowers. You love yourself right?

Who knows better about what you like than you? Make yourself an elaborate meal and enjoy it by watching your favorite romantic movie and enjoying your dinner. Even better, order take out from your favorite restaurant. No need to surround yourself alone at a restaurant with all the other sappy couples who are celebrating a made up holiday. In fact, make up your own holidays and celebrate them yourself!

Have them once a week and celebrate your love for yourself. You don’t need some once a year holiday to show you what a special person you are. Take matters in your own hands and appreciate the wonderful person you are. You don’t need anyone else to do that for you because you are more than capable of doing it yourself.

Take a night out, maybe on one of your holidays you’ve set aside for yourself, and have a “girl empowerment song night”. Collect all the songs that are for making a girl feel strong and that she can accomplish anything and take on the world!

I am woman hear me roar! Seriously! Make your voice heard and belt out those songs. If you want to, invite the girls over and have a girls night, even add a karaoke machine to have a karaoke night.

Girlfriends are a blast to have around, especially when they are also single and have figured out that sometimes in life, men can complicate things and you just need to stand on your own two feet and appreciate the wonderful woman you are.

So many women these days rely upon men to validate their existence. That is so far from the truth when it comes down to it. You don’t need a man to validate how amazing you are. The only person who should be validating your fabulousness, is you!

No more fighting over what movie to watch! It’s always going to be your choice from now on. You can watch a romantic comedy every night and there will be no one to complain about it. You can watch whatever you want. No more boring movies that your ex liked to watch. How many times have you had to sit through a sports movie or a movie that all they do is blow up stuff. Movies with no plots and no substance.

Yet, he always complained when you would put on your favorite romance or drama. No more of that! It’s all your choices now without any interference from your ex. And when it comes to television shows, the same goes. You rally love those shows on Lifetime, but whenever you watched them, that ex of yours would complain and then you would miss episodes.

Well, guess what? Now is the time to catch up on all those episodes you had missed of your favorite shows. Even pick up some new ones to watch as well! You don’t have to worry about waiting for him or anyone to stop playing their video games in order for you to enjoy your favorite show on television.

Now, when you decide to go out and watch a movie in a theater, the same thing goes. You pick the movie and you don’t have to share your popcorn or goodies with anyone. No one is there to talk throughout the movie causing you to miss pertinent scenes because you’re too busy having to explain a scene from Sense and Sensibility to your ex because, face it, artistic movies just fly over his head.

There may be a day when you wake up, like on a Saturday morning and decide you want to take a road trip, by yourself! Do it! As a single woman though, make sure your gas tank is full, your car is in perfect working condition, your tires are in good condition, your cell phone is charged and you have a road service company you are subscribed to. Just because you are a single independent woman, doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t look out for your safety and well-being.

Take a day trip to some museums in another city. Go on a nature quest to see how many different species of flowers you can find. Even go on a bird watching tour. Something that your ex wouldn’t have ever done with you. Venture out and have some fun.

Ever gone out with your ex or on a date and there comes that awkward moment where you are not sure who is going to pick up the check? There is that uncomfortable moment of silence that is so awkward. Now, you pay your own way and you don’t have to worry about who will be picking up the check, because you will be doing that and just for yourself. So buy that lobster dinner for yourself or that shrimp salad that you love so much at your favorite restaurant. You will only be paying for one dinner, so treat yourself well.

Ever been sitting in a public place and you see a couple arguing and shouting at each other. How dramatic and awkward is that? It makes you just want to cringe.

I remember sitting in a restaurant one day with some friends of mine and a couple began to argue with each other. The argument escaladed and soon it turned into a shouting match and everyone’s attention were on them.

They had both managed to attract the attention of everyone around them and disrupt everyone’s dinner. Eventually, the manager asked them to leave in the middle of their dinner. I was so embarrassed for them. When you are a single woman, you don’t have to worry about being with someone and being caught up in a scene like that.

It’s times like those when you appreciate not having to rely on a man for your happiness. You are in control of what makes you happy and what doesn’t and you learn to appreciate that when you are a single lady.

So, you get that call from your girlfriend who is in tears because she has just found out her boyfriend has been cheating on her. You and your other friends have suspected all along that he was, but there was never really any proof and you didn’t want to get involved between their relationship. You never really liked the guy anyway.

She finally caught him with another girl and it has been confirmed that he was in fact cheating on her. Although you feel for her, you are also secretly happy that you are not in a relationship where you are wondering if your boyfriend is cheating on you. It’s liberating to be single and although your friend is in tears over her break up, you are secretly happy that you have another single lady to join you in your independent single ladies ranks.

She is crying her heart to you on the phone and you feel for her, but you are so happy that you don’t have to go through what she is experiencing at that moment. It’s all nice to be in a relationship with someone, but not when you have to have your heart ripped out. No thank you, I will enjoy my heart in tact and continue to be single.

Then there are your other girlfriends who are constantly complaining about their boyfriends and the things they do and don’t do. When you hear them go on for hours and hours, you just want to rip your hair out and tell them to just either dump their guy or shut the hell up. This was one of the major reasons why you chose to be single. You didn’t want to have to listen to your ex complain all the time and you were tired of complaining about him.

After listening to them for hours on end complaining, that is when you decide to let them know that you have other things you need to do. Single girl things that only involves you and a hot bath with bubbles and a glass of wine and soft music. Let them deal with their own issues. You’ve chosen the single life for many reasons and that was one of them.

At this point, you are comfortable in your own skin and are happy being single. Today’s society has dictated to us that if you aren’t in a relationship, then you must not be worth anyone’s time. That is not true though. Being single by choice is a demonstration of independence and confidence. It takes a confident woman to remain single and strive for a mate who is of high standards. No woman should ever settle for a guy who is sub-par to her because she doesn’t want to be alone.

If you sell yourself short and settle, chances are you won’t be happy and then you will end up right back where you started, being single. Be single for as long as you want and be picky about who you want to share your time with.

Most people associate being single with loneliness and sadness and being in a relationship as being happy and fulfilled. But, that is not necessarily true. I know many girls who are in a relationship and are miserable and there are girlfriends of mine who are single and are having the time of their life.

So the misconception of what society dictates to us is terribly wrong in many cases. Why be with someone who is making us so miserable for the mere fear of being alone. Being alone can sometimes be really good for us. We can take the time to improve ourselves, learn more about what we want in a man and what we don’t want and the mere notion of having a good time with our girlfriends.

Look at your last relationship. Did you settle for him? Was he worthy of you? How many comprises did you have to make in order to keep him happy, when you were actually miserable?

When you are single, it should be a time to rediscover yourself. Maybe you have a little extra weight to lose. Make that a priority in your life. Join a gym, eat healthier and work on improving your body. Take yoga or meditation classes to relax your mind and learn more about yourself.

An overall image improvement is always healthy and when you are done, you have improved yourself and who knows, maybe that perfect someone might take notice and ask you out. But, until that happens, enjoy the single life.

Don’t lose focus on what being single is all about. It’s not just a time to look for the perfect guy or even obsess over it. Your number one goal is to make yourself happy. Because if you can’t do that, no one else can either. Embrace yourself as a whole person.

When you are single there are other things, other than the ones I have listed previously, that you can do. One of those things is go out and meet new people. No, don’t go out in search of a new man. When you do that, you look desperate. Just go out with the notion in mind that you want to meet new people, female as well as males for friendship. Meeting new people is always fun and that is how you can develop some amazing friendships.

This is always helpful if you have lost a bunch of friends you had shared with your ex. So, it’s time to get new friends and meet some fresh faces.

It’s also a time to brush up on your people and social skills and even practice your flirting skills. Be outgoing and flirt with any other single guy you like, with no intentions of taking it any further. Feeling great about yourself when you don’t have a boyfriend. You can meet new people and spend time with them without having the pressure of a boyfriend needing your attention. Also when you have a boyfriend and meet new people, it might trigger some jealousy, especially if it’s a new male friend.

Having guy friends when you are single is always a bonus. You can learn more from them on what guys like and want. You enjoy their company without any sexual tension and just relax and enjoy yourself.

Remember when you went to a club or bar with your boyfriend and friends or even a party and the whole time your ex wanted you to spend time with him and you weren’t able to mingle or socialize or meet any new people because he wanted you all to himself? Well, now that the shackles are off, it’s time for you to spread those social butterfly wings.

Enjoy your freedom and make it all about you. No more compromising about anything. You are the boss of everything and about what you do, where you go, who you spend your time with and every other aspect of your life. Revel in it and enjoy it while you can. Because later on down the line, when you do get into another relationship, you will miss the time you were single. So take advantage of it now.

When you are ingle, if you want to spend a lazy day reading a book in the park and enjoying a picnic lunch you packed, then by all means, do it! Who is going to stop you/ No one!

A lot of young girls in their teens and early twenties feel the need that they have to be in a relationship. When you are eighteen years old, you become an adult and most of us don’t have to answer to our parents anymore. That is the time to be single and have fun. You wanted so badly to get out of your parents house when you are eighteen and get out from under their rule and now that you have, why on earth would you want to be in a relationship where the guy controls almost everything about you? That is called jumping out of the pot and into the fire.

Sadly, so many young girls do this and are miserable and not happy. You have to be 21 to drink, 18 to smoke, 16 to drive, but you can jump into a relationship at any age. There should be a minimum age limit for getting involved in a relationship with someone. I think if there was, infidelity among teens would be lowered. No one should become involved in a committed or serious relationship before the age of 25.

By the time you are 25, you have matured considerably. Well, most of us have. There are always exceptions as with anything else. But, at least by the time you are 25, you will have hopefully gone to college, started a career, sowed some wild oats, have had plenty of time to learn about yourself, to love yourself and to understand exactly what you want and need.

Only then will you really be ready to emotionally and physically move into a serious and committed relationship. If you don’t love yourself, how can you expect anyone else to love you? Also, you can’t expect to know about someone else, when you don’t even know yourself at all.

For some reason, teenagers think it’s a right of passage for them as a teenager to have a boyfriend or girlfriend. It’s the “cool” thing to do in high school. I was guilty of it too. If I knew then what I know now, I would have stayed single until I was at least 25.

At 18, we all want the luxury of making our own decisions and being our own person, so why on earth would we want to be in a relationship where freedom is the last thing we have?

When you are young and single, you should be focusing on high school or college and getting those good grades, so you can secure a future for yourself and obtain financial security so you don’t have to rely on anyone for your happiness.

When you are in school and you are in a relationship, it is nothing but a distraction. I remember when I was in college and I made the mistake of getting involved in a relationship and having a boyfriend. There were nights when I would be up late arguing with him when I could have been spending my time and energy and focusing on studying. Not to mention being up all night crying and not sleeping causing me to be tired the next day for school.

In our college years, we should be focused on getting our dream job, not trying to make someone else happy. Whenever we put someone else before our own well-being, we only jeopardize our own happiness. Is it selfish to want happiness and success? No, it’s not. It’s human nature to want to succeed in life and obtain our dreams. No one should ever let anyone hold them back in doing that, no matter what age you are!

Also take into consideration that when we are in our twenties, more often than not, our significant other isn’t on the same page as us in our goals.

Girls develop and mature quicker than boys. It’s a known fact. You might be stuck in a relationship where you have matured enough to know what you want, but your boyfriend is still searching for himself. When that happens, the outcome is that he holds you back from obtaining your goals.

When you are single and career driven, you love the independence and doing what you want. It allows you to make yourself happy. You know that no one is holding you back from doing what you love and all the things you want to do.

When you are single, meet your goals, travel the world, experience new things and people, Never let anyone hold you back, because if you are in a relationship and someone is holding you back from your hopes and dreams, there is a very good chance that the relationship will not last. So, when it ends and you have put your life on hold for them, the only person who ends up miserable is you!

Put on your best smile that is a genuine smile, take charge of your life, work hard towards what you want, hang out with friends, pamper yourself, treat yourself well, live well and healthy, focus on you and have lots of “me time” and never, never let anyone come between your goals and what you want out of life. Stay single until you have done what you have worked hard to do and always remember, being single is a good and positive thing and should never be frowned upon or looked at in a negative way.

Enjoy the single life while you can!