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"You watch those survival shows, right, I did. You know which ones I'm talking about. The ones were you think the person cannot get any more stupid even if they tried. I would watch and laugh at those people. I would think if those people were actually put in that type of situation instead of make believe bullshit on TV they would fail, they would die. Then I thought if I was in there place I would win, I would survive. Now that I think about it that is probably the reason I ended up here in this horrid place, because of my narcissism."

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Chapter 1

    Gasping, she struggled up, the room spinning. Her eyes stung and watered as they adjusted to the bright blinding light of fluorescent room. She could smell chloroform. Gagging she held her hand to her mouth trying to stop her gag reflex but it was too late, her hand was covered in last nights meal.  Chloroform had such a disgusting pungent sweet smell. She hated sweets, she shook her hand standing up looking around the room. Metal walls, floor, ceiling, a couple of metal benches, and one metal door but that wasn't the worst part. What worried her the most was roughly around two hundred girls around her own age were in the tiny silver room with her. 


   She could feel there body heat, hear each voice as they talked and screamed. Confused and afraid, they didn't understand what was happening; neither did she but she wasn't going to sit and do nothing. The girl looked at the others, some wear still passed out and sleeping, while others were awake or beginning to wake. The ones that were conscious had one thing in common; they were fighting. Some girls fought over boxes which the girl correctly guessed as rations. They argued about how much one person could have and how to divide them up equally. Others were trying to beat the door down. Going over and over about strategies that wouldn't work. The door was made with heavy duty steel. If the door was made to hold people in, then  the Jaws of Life wouldn't work on them.


    Now a couple of girls stood out to her. One was a tall platinum blonde who was cliche as they came with her big breast and cheerleader uniform. She stood upon of the benches screaming at people and the only thing the girl thought was “Bitch." She yelled at people to follow her, to listen to her and they did. To her right was another blond cheerleader in pigtails with even bigger breast, almost like a clone. She on the other hand was crying, cowering behind her “Leader" as you would put it. In front of her on the opposite bench was an even taller woman with short spiky red hair. She had piercings and tattoos all of her body but one stood out. It was on the right side of her neck traveling down to her shoulder-blade, wrapping its way around her bicep, forearm and then wrist. It was a beautiful design of a black scaled dragon with red and white crosses on it's skin with vibrant cherry blossom surrounding it. The girl felt raw power coming off from her, you knew she was strong, her presence blazed saying;


“Animal."  She knew instantly that she wanted this power on her side. When the time came she would use her. She watched as she aggressively yelled at people to shut up and listen to her. This didn't help her case at all. Next to her was a girl with long black hair and glasses. She held a laptop open staring at the screen, the girl with the spiked hair turned and said something to her but it was a whisper.


" These two are friends," She thought. If she could get one on her side the other would follow. She didn't want to assume but the girl with glasses looked smart and if she was friends with the red head she knew she could use her too. Though she couldn't read her face, it showed no emotion.


    She looked at the girls closely they were "recruiting" the other girls. Many girls came up to her asking if she was ok, if she needed anything, and if she would like to join their own group. She nodded yes that she was ok and to leave her alone. Her neck almost began to stiffen from all the movement. It started to become a hassle that she would just leave them there not saying anything. They all looked the same, pathetic and whiny and she wasn't going to join any group. The girl didn't bother to learn their names either, they were quite annoying. They were all too busy with “pressing" matters they forgot to ask the main questions.


“What the hell happened to us?” She heard no one ask, “where are we?", and “Who did this to us?" No it was “who’s more popular."


    She did notice that some of the girls wore uniforms from a private school near her apartment. She figured then that all the girls in this room lived in the same community. Went to the schools around where she lived and knew one another in some way.  She didn't go to school; The girl had dropped out when she was fourteen because of certain circumstances. 


    All of a sudden a loud noise came out of no were. It was like it was everywhere, it sounded like the static on a TV. everyone dropped to there knees covering there ears in tell it turned off. There was a buzzing and then a click followed by a man or a woman’s beginning to talk. The room started to panic but the sound came back silencing everyone again. The voice began to speak again, it voice filled with malice and anger.


    “Listen carefully, do not speak a word or you will hear that lovely sound again. You are all probably wondering why you're here right. So let me tell you." People glared around, aiming for the invisible voice trying to figure out who it could be.


"Humans are greedy, selfish, vindictive, ugly, unholy, and unfair creatures. Humans are monsters who don't care about anyone else but themselves and their own survival. Humans think that they're better than others, animals, plants, rocks, the god or gods that you worship and even the sky. Well at least you all do." Everyone held there breaths, sweat dripping from there brows as the air around turned deadly anxious.


“You think you're faster, stronger, and smarter than others. You laugh at those shows saying “we could do better." So here's your chance to prove it, to show that you are better." The voice cracked with rage.


“Your first goal is to figure out the lock combination. If you do that you will be set free. In an hour if you haven't gotten the door opened by then you will face consequences." with that the voice was gone and everyone began panicking. The room grew terrified, people began to run to the door beating , banging, pushing,  and hitting people to get out. Girls were getting trampled. The Girl felt a few elbows in her rib cage.


    The voice was right, people only cared about themselves. She picked up a girl lying on the ground, her hand an unrecognizable crumbled mess. She tried to help but the girl ran away screaming. She felt bad that girl wasn't going to make it.  Next she went to help another girl on the ground but she was already dead. She grabbed to girls who seemed calm enough to handle the mess. She told them to take her body to the far corner and to find the girl with the crushed hand. She moved out of the way when a herd came running. Everyone was getting out of control, They were getting nowhere. Everyone need to calm down.


She was about to say something when a girl with short choppy brown hair in a green jumpsuit that matched her green eyes blew a whistle, getting everyone's attention.


    “You all need to calm down. We have to stay Strong ok. We have to work together." As she talked people began to calm down and listen.


“We as a group need to establish some type of plan. So if you could nicely come over here and have a seat we will tell you about the plan we thought of." This girl seemed reasonable but so the girl followed her. She turned around there eyes meeting. She smiled at the girl then went and sat down next to laptop girl.


“So -" the cliche blonde coughed interrupting whistle girl. Walking in front of her she spoke,


“Now Michelle you’re not a leader unlike me whose head cheerleader, If anyone has a plan its me.” 


The girl stifled a laugh. "Wow" She criticized, "did she get that line out of a movie."


    “I am though the student body president Alicia!" I am in charge of all the students in the school." Michelle snapped at the bitch Alicia.


"Yes but were not in school so you have no real authority." Alicia snickered.


“Neither do you. So you have no reason to say anything” Michelle retorted. Alicia face scrunched up in embarrassment as she turned swiftly and walked back to her bench.


    Most of the girls nodded with Michelle but still followed Alicia. Michelle might have been right but she didn't have the popular vote. This was pointless, they needed to find a way to open the door not play who's the best “hero."


    Done watching the two girls argue. She turned letting her eyes wander over the locked door. It was a simple number lock, like the ones you find on old suitcases. Get the right combo and you were free. Tricky but not impossible. She thought about all the combination for about twenty five minutes.  She grew tired and hungry. All the thinking made her stomach growl. As she headed for the rations, she made her way slowly toward the boxes. As she went to get grab a health bar and bottle of water, which was the only ration they had, a manly hand grabbed her wrist stopping her.


“Alicia doesn't want anyone touching the food." The women who had stopped her was a masculine women with arms humongous arms. She tightened her grip on her writ when she didn't saying thing. A slight sting came from it and she knew she would have a bruise.


“Move" she said mono toned. hoping that the death glare she gave would scare the giant women away. She knew She wasn't strong enough to take her but she was smart enough to outsmart her, I had to think of a plan. Her mind raced with thousands of possibilities to take down the brute. As she thought about how to get out of the troublesome situation she felt a hand land on her shoulder.


    “Abby Alicia wants you." Turning she saw it was Michelle. The bruit known as Abby left with a grunt, stomping away.


“Here" Michelle offered a bar and water. She had nicked them while Abby wasn't paying attention.


“I didn't know student body presidents had a habit of stilling supplies." she smirked,


“Well like Alicia said this isn't school, we have to survive anyway we know how." She nodded then turned  to leave but Michelle stopped her.


“I saw you thinking. When every one was panicking you were about to saying something before I stopped it; right?" She nodded again letting her speak.


“I think you would be a good member of my team, we can benefit from your help and vice verse." The girl shook her head, she wasn't going to join any group. Even if the girl in front of her was right. She didn't trust anyone, she didn't trust her.


“I can't I'm sorry but I can't, you wouldn't want me on a team, I don't play well with others." She turned but she stepped in front blocking her path to leave.


“Maybe so but we need to work together to survive, you know that, I know you know that." Again she was right. She thought for a second, she wouldn't like this. Like the voice said people were greedy and they were very complicated. She had no doubts that some of the girls would stab her in the back if they had to. To kill her for a little comfort. She knew this because she would do the same thing. She would also stab anyone in the back in they got in her way of surviving. She also knew that Michelle was right. 


”Fine," grabbing her hand Michelle dragged her to her small group.


“Everyone this is...?"


“Dean." She replayed dryly.


(Survivors 200) 

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J. J. Crown

This is a great concept! Definitely some potential with this work. One piece of advice I can share is to be careful with your editing (or better yet, hire an editor). The second paragraph of this chapter, for example, misuses the word "there" when it should be "their". Also, the phrase "covered in last meal was my hand," is awkward and difficult to follow. A simple "my hand was covered in my last meal" flows more naturally. While these are only minor tweaks, I feel that it should help the reader become more absorbed in the work and fully enjoy the creativity of this story.

Overall, great job!

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Thank you for your comment. Thank you for pointing out some errors, Right know I am collecting all of the items I need to edit and I will edit them some time later. I have a habit of editing while writing because of my OCD but my teachers always told me not to because it will halt creative thinking. So for right know I am just trying to get the chapters out as best written as I can and in the future I will hire a an editor. Thank you again and thank you for reading my book. I hope you will continue reading. :D

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