perception / reality

 

Tablo reader up chevron

perception / reality

by x.c.

table of contents

to hit / to not

reality

untitled

pretend

THE MONSTER IN THE AIR VENT

want

HURT / HELP

(you)

Comment Log in or Join Tablo to comment on this chapter...

to hit / to not

yesterday my ballet teacher introduced frappes at the barre:

where you hit the floor with your foot quickly, quickly, quickly

she demonstrates

i flinch at the noise and try to smile it away

my attempt is silent and sometimes i curse the fact that my lessons

are private because the silence is so loud, too loud, deafening,

“harder,”

“more aggressively,”

“put some force into it,”

“pretend to be angry,”

it doesn’t help

she says “i bet you don’t ever get angry,

do you?”

i don’t, not really

maybe i am afraid of being angry /

maybe i am afraid of making noise /

maybe i am afraid of hitting the floor /

 

if i can hit the floor, what else

can i hit?

Comment Log in or Join Tablo to comment on this chapter...

reality

objectively, i know that what i’m doing is BAD but

in my head it’s GOOD and

is there really that large a gap between

the reality in my head / the reality out of it

Comment Log in or Join Tablo to comment on this chapter...

THE MONSTER IN THE AIR VENT

Comment Log in or Join Tablo to comment on this chapter...

HURT / HELP

Comment Log in or Join Tablo to comment on this chapter...
~

You might like xenya c's other books...