To myself, because whenever no one else is there for you, you are there for yourself

I was not one of them. I was a horror, an abhorrence of a person. By the brand emblazoned on my shoulder or the publicized persecution of sorcerers, they established quite well that whichever way I turn, I was something of level with demon spawn. A defiance to the people. An Elemental sorcerer. Hell, even if I was a regular sorcerer, I could live a somewhat normal life. But I was accursed, damned by wherever or whatever I came from.

But that would change after less than an hour. My interdimensional energy transfer prototype would expel all remnants of my sorcery into either the Shadow Realm or what I preferred, the Ether.

    My apparatus was a wide, chaotic machine. A coiling mess of metal and sensors. With the seat in between two armrests, it resembled a throne. I looked at the door where only a fragment of faint light shone from upstairs where Cyrus and Whitney were most likely watching reruns of Psych. As much as I liked the dark, my thoughts clouded around me, shutting off light like a dark greenhouse. The quicker I began the operation, the quicker the demons would dissipate.

    The seat was mildly irritating. As the mechanism shifted from manual to automatic, I felt less like I was in a throne and more like I was in an electric chair. The thought of a hadron collider running plasma through my body didn’t lessen my fears.

“Why in hell did I tap into a hadron collider,” I whispered to myself.

The particles would smash in the basement, creating a miniature black hole inside the vacuum of my mechanism. The black hole would rip a hole in the dimension as the mechanism absorbed my energy. My sorcery would then be through into the timeless abyss of the Ether.

At least, that’s what I planned for.

The alert sounded as soon as I was strapped in. I hit a button with my foot. The collider should have moved into my machine by then. I sat expectantly. There was an eerie quiet.

Scheeek. “Aaagh!”

Lightning shot through my body. My throat felt as if molten lead had been poured into it. Every nerve in my body was screaming in pain. I gasped for my lungs to cool my chest. Unable to feel whether or not I was getting any, I let go. If this was how I was to die, I really would’ve liked some last words. I couldn’t take it anymore.

But the regulars ostracized me for long enough. I would not let pain stop me from becoming a regular. Determination in the form or strength coursed through my limbs. Either that or the lightning. I’d was going to die or walk out triumphantly; without being a sorcerer.

I was jolted for a whole minute. I couldn’t live much longer without being fried. Better to simply kill the switch than to be killed. No, that would be insane.  If people found out… I’d be detained until the cure was released. I had to persevere. Live to be a regular.

No, I was slipping away. I let a worn, death heavy laugh escape my lips. At least the death was somewhat honorable. Nah, being killed by your own creation is kind of lame.  

Then I felt complete darkness. Was I dead? I still felt horrible, but the lightning had stopped. That is, if I was still alive.
    I heard a pounding. My heart must’ve been released, because it was beating hard.  

“Lloyd? Lloyd, are you in there?” a deep voice shouted through a barrier.

The barrier between life and death is really thin, I thought.

Chink! A spear was driven through the door. Cyrus swung the door open with a heavy kick. A little more light was let in, illuminating my body. His mouth was in a slight frown. He looked concerned, but too calm considering how close to death I was.

“Cy…” Being poured full of electricity really made my throat dry.

He slashed with his double headed spear, chopping off the armrests. I collapsed into a smoking heap on the floor.

“What on earth were you doing to yourself? Lloyd? Hey. No, no, no. Whitney!"

I looked at him blankly. My strength was draining into the ground like the blood dripping from my nose.

What? Oh, shoot! I’m bleeding! Ah! What am I going to do?

    I couldn’t speak. Cyrus looked as if he was yelling out the door, but I noticed a ringing in my ears blocking out the sound. My vision blacked out for a second, but Whitney appeared the next second.

    My sight recalibrated as Whitney slipped something on my tongue. It fizzed and melted until my senses popped back into reality. She waved her hand over my face.

    “Can you hear me, Lloyd?”

    I coughed but managed to whisper, “Where’s Cyrus?”

Whitney huffed and smacked me hard across the face, “Thank goodness. We thought you weren’t gonna wake up for a while. Your… Your skin and your eyes…”

I rubbed my cheek, “Is that how you exclaim your happiness for someone who almost died? Wait, what happened to me?”

    “Your skin was really black with soot or something and your eyes had rolled into white. Your body was charred—“

    “Wait,” I sat up on the bed I found myself on, “Charred?”

“Well, not entirely. In the end, all you were having was a massive nosebleed. We almost called an ambulance. We’re just so glad you’re alright!”

Cyrus sighed in relief as he walked into view. He was carrying a duffel bag over his shoulder. He had changed into an orange tank top and beige wrinkled cargo shorts.

“Going somewhere?” I said, feeling a wave of nausea lap through my abdomen.

He didn’t meet my eyes, “Something came up Lloyd. I would stay, but it’s really important. I’ll be back by sundown, though, so sit tight.”

    Being a contracted sorcerer was in a lot of demand, but still was really dangerous if you were caught by the Social Restoration Police. My run in with them a few days ago wasn’t pretty. Those guys were some of the only permitted Elemental sorcerers. Bad news, but Cyrus only did goody goody jobs, so he never saw the worst of it.

    I scoffed, “What’re you going to be doing? Pulling weeds for farmer Brown?”

    He chuckled, “Course not. I’m redirecting the lava flow from the volcano.”

“Get to live the idea of moving mountains, eh?”

“Hey it’s not my fault I’ve got earth as my only element.”

“You can go now.”

He gave me a sad look and ran off. I caught a glimpse of a figure vaulting thirty feet from a pillar of stone through the window.

He was my best friend, but he was so respected and powerful, and it made me so mad to see him shift hills and stuff.  I was a weak little boy who had no use for sorcery except for lighting campfires and hiding in the shadows. Too bad they don't use Elementals for war anymore. Banned by the damned Geneva Conventions. I shook my head, letting the idea fester inside of me.

Whitney stood up abruptly.

“Listen, Lloyd… I’ve got to go, I—“

“You too?”

“Okay, unlike Cyrus, we already talked about this. I’m going to my parents’ house today. can look after you until tomorrow.”

“But that guy is…” I knew I was being selfish. I liked being alone, but not with an irritating butler guy.

She closed the light and door. A red convertible revved off. A picture of the three of us sat on the nightstand beside me. We were smiling, content with our insignificant places in the universe. But the faces seemed to laugh at me with the sunlight peeking through the curtains and gleaming on their faces. I put it down.

My thigh started vibrating.

No. Oh no. Here come the seizures.

But then my Fall Out Boy ringtone sounded. I opened my phone.

    “Lloyd? Lloyd, I’ve got a job for you... You there, kid?”

    “What’s wrong, Nathaniel. I’m kinda caught up in something right now.” I glanced at the mirror.

I looked almost exactly the same as I did yesterday. Dark circles under my jade green eyes. Same crazy black hair. My sly smiled was twisted into a frown, though. And I was a lot paler. My skin resembled that of a demon with the pale translucent glow and darker skin around my eyes.

That wouldn't have been too bad. Becoming a demon that is. There'd be no one to condemn you to prison for life and no one to call you a Sark. I'd live in the Shadow Realm forever, with the demons and devils. Not a damn care in the world.

"Lloyd!"

I flinched hard, hitting my head against the wooden bed frame. "What, Nathaniel? What?"

"Stop zonin' out! I got a job for ya if ya'd like." He said. I imagined him sitting on the other line with his legs crossed, all smug. Wrapping his finer on his ponytail like he's all that.

"You know what, I will take it. But first, how much are you gonna pay me?"

I heard a whisper. My eyes widened as I blinked, astonished. My jaw dropped, but it quickly transformed into my signature smirk. I ripped off the bandages and threw off the blanket. My strength returned punctually. Like it always did, my body healed very very quickly. 

I changed my clothes. From my broiled shirt and shorts into some jeans and a long-sleeve gray striped shirt. I poured some water down my throat. Water condensed on the glass and dripped in zigzags onto my arm to be absorbed by the cloth.

The phone rang another time, but I preferred not to hear Nathaniel's prideful voice ring in my ears.

The bus was uncomfortable, but I could withstand a crowded bus for the reward.