We are falling apart.

No, we have already fallen.

So deep that I no longer recognize you even in the morning sunlight.

I see you, physically

But you are no longer mine

You are no longer the man I chose to live with

I didn't travel fourteen thousand miles to be your servant;

To pick up the clothes you throw on the floor

To cook dinner only to wait until noon for you to come home

I didn't leave the solace of my country to be in a foreign one for you to be ashamed of me.

You need to know, that I quit.

I want to break up with you,

But I don't know if I can

I have become too dependent on your affections

That I can no longer live with mine.

So here I am, writing sixty-three reasons

Trying to realize what I can do to defend myself from this battle

Trying to fix everything that was shattered

So here

Let me give you sixty-three reasons why we need to let go.

Why I need to let you go.

I am not stupid

No matter how many times you tell me that I am, I will always tell myself that I am not stupid

I make stupid decisions, yes.

Like the time I decided to be on a plane with you leaving my home, my family and the people I knew just to be with you.

Yes, my mother was a plain housewife because they couldn't afford college

And yes, my father worked for a different country because it was difficult to find one in our own.

He was paid more money than what he could've gotten from home

But was paid to be away from us.

Ten thousand miles away from us

Like I am now.

Yes, your parents are rich, managing different companies within their palms

Like you are now.

Similar to how you manage my decisions within your palms like it's up to you to decide

I hear you mocking my parents every time you call your own

For their lack of education

For their lack of wealth

I tell you,

Live my life!

So you will know how painful it is to see your parents struggle with daily expenses. With the bills that piled up every month.

So you will know how difficult it is to celebrate your birthdays without your father beside you

So you will know how many buckets you need to fill with your tears whenever you send virtual kisses and hugs to the people you love.

But you will never know

You will never feel that.

For you were born with a silver spoon in your mouth

And that made it more difficult for you to understand.

I never lost hope that you'd understand.

As you held on to my hand, and to my decisions

All I ever want is to let you go

It may be difficult to do so, but I know that I can

Someday,

I will let you go.

I am not useless.

And though you make me feel like I am, I tell you I am not useless.

Do you remember when your secretary forgot to send the file that was to be presented to your father, at the board meeting?

Do you remember how angry you were when you found out that it was deleted three hours before the presentation?

Because I do,

I was the one you called,

Telling me all your frustrations, wanting nothing but to alleviate yourself of the stress.

Do you remember what I did?

I talked to you on the phone for less than three hours as I typed with all anxiety,

For your report,

For your presentation,

To save your fucking ass!

Because I know how much your father stresses you

I know how much you hate the way he breathes against your neck

How much pressure he puts against shoulders to be like him

To be better than him!

And now what do you do?

You breathe against my neck telling me I am useless

I am not useless!

I am not useless

You just don't need me anymore.